Online personas? How can you tell if an online friend is for real?

[Constance]

I've had bad experiences trusting people in real life. I think some folks say don't trust people online because of the lack of eye contact and observable body language. I could be wrong about that.

In a way, this relates to a post of mine a while back. I had asked something like are online "friends" really friends? I'd pretty much already thought Yes, they are, but I wanted feedback from this board's members, many of whom I'd like to consider friends.

I'm a real-life introvert, and I think that shyness also comes into play in online conversation. Case in point, I waited to see what others would post in reply before making my own. I'm like that in conversations and group discussions.

I've certainly felt like I had made enemies at various message boards. There are topics or facets of myself I've leared to avoid at various boards for fear of being made to feel like I'd been excreted by a cow and kicked around a pasture. But I'd like to think I made a few friends online, too.

My wife often expresses the opinion that online is not real. I don't think I buy into that completely. There could be those who have personas that are the polar opposites of their real life selves. It seems to me it would be a tricky thing to do successfully, but not impossible. I doubt I could do it for long.

I, too, feel like I can be more myself online, here at least anyway. I've met my share of judgemental, arrogant, and hateful folk. It's nice to have a place where I can just be me. In real life, I have a tendancy to hide various parts or me depending on who I'm interacting with.

And for the record, Nero only broke my heart once. But, it was a misunderstanding and all was put to rights shortly thereafter.

[NicholeW.]

And for the record, Nero only broke my heart once. But, it was a misunderstanding and all was put to rights shortly thereafter.

Nero has never broken my heart, never-ever. He has disappointed me to the point I'd like to have booted his butt a few times.


As for stories? Hmm, Arthur and Excalibur? There may have been a true King Arthur, but the likelihood was he dressed in old Roman armor when he had the right bits of it, lived in a hill-fort that was incredibly filthy by today's standards and if he had a sword he never pulled it outta stone. Maybe not even a scabbard.

O, btw, he prolly was about two feet shorter than you, Kate.

And given the probable location of the hill-fort in question, I'd doubt seriously he was huge on taking a bath.

OK, Kate, King Arthur it is. Welcome to him.   

Nichole

[Kate]

There may have been a true King Arthur, but the likelihood was he dressed in old Roman armor when he had the right bits of it, lived in a hill-fort that was incredibly filthy by today's standards and if he had a sword he never pulled it outta stone. Maybe not even a scabbard.

And given the probable location of the hill-fort in question, I'd doubt seriously he was huge on taking a bath.

That's why he needs ME

I will clean the boy up, BELIEVE me!

~Kate~

[NicholeW.]

There may have been a true King Arthur, but the likelihood was he dressed in old Roman armor when he had the right bits of it, lived in a hill-fort that was incredibly filthy by today's standards and if he had a sword he never pulled it outta stone. Maybe not even a scabbard.

And given the probable location of the hill-fort in question, I'd doubt seriously he was huge on taking a bath.

That's why he needs ME

I will clean the boy up, BELIEVE me!

~Kate~

Yep, and pick him up as well!  And beat the bejesus outta him if he don't do it? 

Given his probable size and nutrition, your's too if you go back there to find him, you'll prolly out-weigh him by a hundred pounds! Even as thin as you are.

Nichole

[Annwyn]

Because you never listen. 

If you weren't so DEMANDING!

[lady amarant]

There may have been a true King Arthur, but the likelihood was he dressed in old Roman armor when he had the right bits of it

Nothing like a man in uniform with a big sword.

~Simone.

[lady amarant]

The lady amarant voice just woke up and is still a wee bit woozie.

~Simone.

[cindianna_jones]

Shoot Nero, how can you tell if a real person can be trusted?

People are married for years and then they find out that their spouse is a <fill in the blank>.

Ya just gotta be yourself and make sure that no one takes advantage.

Cindi

[Jeatyn]

I don't have a single friend I didn't meet online first

I have a few I have never met that I would still consider good friends

it's all about your gut feelings, trust has to be earned just like in real life

[Godot]

All of my friends are online friends. Only one of them turned out to be a jerk and I had kinda known it in the beginning but I wanted to make sure. In my experience, internet friends haven't been that bad. The only time it sucks is when you're dating someone over the internet and you can't be with them..or next to them

[Jeannette]

You never know about anybody whether you have just met them on the web or have been dealing with them for a long time.  For all I know the same people who are answering this thread saying they are "supportive" & "friendly" could be posers.  Establish friendships with peeps someone knows, mutual friendships, understand?  That's your best shot or else you'll never know who is real & who isn't.

[Yvonne]

You never know about anybody whether you have just met them on the web or have been dealing with them for a long time.  For all I know the same people who are answering this thread saying they are supportive & friendly could be posers. 

Youre right.  Id never thought about how you put it.  If someone doesnt give you their real name & claim to be supportive & friendly, that should be a red flag right there.  Ive met too pervs on line. Wolves in sheep clothing.  Peeps that claim to be your friend but look out because theyre to get you.

[Victoria L.]

I have noticed that I am more outgoing and confident Online.

I am out at every forum I frequent(I don't go in telling everyone that I am TS, but I do tell them early on).  I am out at home sort of and completely in the closet at university.  I love being able to express my true self online.  I am much happier, calmer, and friendlier online because I don't have to hide what I am. 

This is more like me.

There are exceptions, forums that I don't want to tell... but most of those forums I keep my gender to myself and am just androgynous.

I do seem to change myself a lot, though. It's not because I mean to, it's because I'm odd and tend to not really even know who I am (besides being transgendered and liking to play music.) So I'm a bit confused, and tend to change real fast... but that also could be because I'm growing up. I've realized I'm way more mature than I was a few years ago... So much it'd probably be hard to tell I'm the same person. o_O

But I really hate fooling people, whether it be online or offline, so I try hard to avoid that.

And it probably helps that I don't really trust anybody, so nobody can really fool me online. XD