How do I even start to tell my family? Advice needed

[Jeatyn]

I have already come out to all of my friends. Most were understanding and I can tell they won't treat me any differently. A few are trying to talk me out of it, and only one is being horrible about it. The way my boyfriend reacted just reaffirmed how perfect he is for me.

So overall, a great result, I couldn't have expected better. However I have absolutely no idea how to even start telling my family. I don't tell them anything, feelings wise, they don't really know me at all.

I live with my sister, brother, nephew and my brothers fiance. I was thinking of writing a letter to my sister but I can't bare the thought of the awkwardness after it. I wouldn't even know what to write, can anyone offer some insight?

[Janet_Girl]

Many use the letter as an approach.  I was straight out with my family, what little there was and I am now alone.  But my ex is coming around slowly now that we are apart.  But getting back together isn't in the cards.

Go fishing see how they feel about Transgendered people.  Then use the information to follow up.

[Jeatyn]

My sister doesn't even believe in bisexuality and doesn't understand why anyone would want to be gay. I don't think she will even start to understand this

I think the best option is writing a letter to my brothers Fiance, I talk and connect with her a lot more with her than I do the others.

I figure I only have to tell one person....then everyone else will be informed either by them or by me with backup. Much less scary than telling the first initial person!

[Janet_Girl]

That might be the best way. I know that was how my fellow employee found out for one person.  Now everyone knows and those who wouldn't talk to me, I don't really care.  It's they're loss. 

But make sure she understand fully so the wrong things are being said.

Janet

[Jeatyn]

A lot of the friends I told were utterly unsurprised, especially my boyfriend

Hopefully the family will be the same!

I just wish I lived on my own, it'd be so much simpler to be detached from them while it sunk in!

[Janet_Girl]

Good luck, Hon.  I know it isn't easy.  I always think of the worst case scenario, accept that and go forward.  If you accept the worst case and it doesn't happen anything better is good.  If it happens, you are prepared.

Janet

[Jeatyn]

I'm horribly scared of one thing

I used to live with my sister when I was 12, and when she discovered I was a self harmer she said she just couldn't handle it and she sent me in to foster care

If she kicked me out I don't have a clue where I would go!

[Janet_Girl]

Friends, boyfriend.  We all face that possibility.  Explore your options.  Have a plan, that is part of the excepting the worst.

Sorry I can be of more help.  May be the others might come up with something.

Love, 

Janet

[Jeatyn]

I need to come out so I can start my therapy asap, regardless of the consequences

I'm going to do it tomorrow

Wish me luck!

[Janet_Girl]

Best of luck, Hon.  May the Goddess be with you.  You will be fine.

Blessed Be,

Janet

[Jamie-o]

My plan - which I haven't had the courage to implement because I'm a total coward - is to bring up the recent study in Austria that found a variant in the genes of FtMs.  Here's a brief quote from an article I read:

The variation is in the gene for an enzyme called cytochrome P17, which is involved in the metabolism of sex hormones. Its presence leads to higher than average tissue concentrations of male and female sex hormones, which may in turn influence early brain development.

From there I thought I would launch into something along the lines of, "I sometimes wonder if I don't have that gene variant ..." and then a discussion about how I've never felt the female role fit me at all, and how I've felt from the time I was little that being born female was a huge cosmic mistake.

I admire your courage to tackle this head-on.  Just make sure you have a plan in place, in case this impacts your living situation.  Best of luck to you.

[Jeatyn]

I wrote a letter, dumped it on her bed, she wrote one back and handed it to me just now

"im happy for you, you know what you want and need, im here to help, won't tell no one promise xxx"

Success! 

I feel so much better already

[vanna]

Wow Dawni

thats great news i was going to just jump in and say the letter approach as well. Its always so much easier to get your point across and avoid a shouting match that probably solves nothing.

Best of luck hunni, most the time you find they suspect anyway so its good to get it in the open.

Sorry to hear also Janet, kinda sucky huh ? maybe times the healer.

[Lachlann]

I think one thing we have to remember is, just because someone doesn't understand something does not mean they will not accept you and love you. And at other times, people don't realize or sympathize until it happens to either them or someone close to them.

I'm glad everything worked out though.

[Jeatyn]

Thanks guys, just having people to talk to helps =3

3 people left in the house to tell, hope it continues to go well

[iFindMeHere]

Dawni I'm happy your sister took it well! May that continue.

[Janet_Girl]

Good for you, Dawni. One down and three to go. 

[Fox]

Good luck. I dearly hope the rest of the family goes as well for you

[perfectisolation]

That's great, Dawni.. wish I had the stones to even do what you did! sounds like a good idea though, not too straightforward unlike actually gathering the family around and reading it to them.

[Anisha]

good luck ...may your family accept you...