Do I need to go en femme to the first therapy session?

[Chrissty]

phew, you were just in time. I waited just for you

like I was saying, I feel much better today, last night I just couldn't sleep and was so preoccupied playing all these scenarios in my head. today I feel more collected with my thoughts and I am really reaady to make the best of this.


~beth

You just gotta let me us know how U got on......

(so I know what to expect next Friday)



Chrissty

[lizbeth]

that went as good as I could have hoped, really. I took the advice I had read on here and other palces about letting her lead and just answered her questions. Gender didn't even come up until about 30 minutes in, just family issues and background to make me feel more comfortable. I think the double session was a little too long, since we kind of ran out of stuff to discuss for the last 20 minutes and concentrated on a plan for me, so we only booked a single session for 3 weeks from now.

we talked a lot about my family - mom specifically since she is battling cancer (and winning!) and how I put my transition on hold because of it. I told her how I self medicated for a year, and we talked about some health issues. she even recomended that I get a chromosome analysis (that would explain a lot, I guess).

she gave me a lot of encouragement most of all. referred me to a friendly general practice physician for hormones (who is also TG as it turns out) and an endo. she basically said what I knew, but it was nice to have someone agree. she also gave me some strong advice to quit smoking (which I think I am ready to do).

(so I know what to expect next Friday)



Chrissty

just be honest. it's the easiest advice but I didn't trust it 100% either. she didn't try and trap me or trick me into saying anything, it was very free form. be prepared for followup questions on stuff you might have felt was irrelevant and don't forget to take a deep breath and collect yourself if you need to.

[Chrissty]

just be honest. it's the easiest advice but I didn't trust it 100% either. she didn't try and trap me or trick me into saying anything, it was very free form. be prepared for followup questions on stuff you might have felt was irrelevant and don't forget to take a deep breath and collect yourself if you need to.

Hey ..I'm so glad it al went well for you

Thank you for the feedback and advice 



Chrissty

[cindybc]

I am not going to advise in any way if it was right or wrong but when I went out for my assessment by a therapist at the Clark institute I was fully clothed as a female for the occasion. The therapist, a M-F herself I believe she was a little surprised. I just didn't want to leave any wiggle room for misunderstanding of my intent. About three weeks later after my shrink got the report that I was diagnosed as having GID and was transsexual it was about a week later I came out full time, about a month and a half before I started HRT. It was either that or a date with a rock cut, I chose the former.  That's just my story on how I did it is all.

Chrissty hon, you are looking more beautiful all the time, what's your secret?

Cindy

[Chrissty]

Awww Thanks Cindy *blushes*

....It must be the effects of being around all you other beautiful girls

Chrissty

[Suzy]

Well since I go to my therapist during my work day, I just cannot go dressed as me.  At our last session, she told me that it was a little strange that I sit there "radiating female energy but dressed in male clothes."  She encouraged me to dress for my next visit if I felt comfortable doing so.  I told her it had nothing to do with comfort, just scheduling.  So I am gonna have to be creative with my schedule.  I never want to go en homme again.  I agree, it doesn't make sense to.  Come to think of it, it makes no real sense to me any time any more.

Kristi

[cindybc]

Hi Kristi hon, I will send prayer that all goes well with your therapy sessions and your eventual coming out.

Cindy

[Suzy]

Cindy, sweetie!


Kristi

[Chrissty]

Well since I go to my therapist during my work day, I just cannot go dressed as me.  At our last session, she told me that it was a little strange that I sit there "radiating female energy but dressed in male clothes."  She encouraged me to dress for my next visit if I felt comfortable doing so.  I told her it had nothing to do with comfort, just scheduling.  So I am gonna have to be creative with my schedule.  I never want to go en homme again.  I agree, it doesn't make sense to.  Come to think of it, it makes no real sense to me any time any more.

Kristi

Hi Kristi, from the way you present yourself here, I have to agree 100% with your therapist, and your decision. 

Looks like I will be starting the "working day" disguise sessions now, with the limited therapist availability in this country and my circumstances.....Ah well.....C'est la vie!

*big hug*

Chrissty

[cindybc]

Well in my opinion you both look good enough and fem enough to be full time and on the job as well.

Cindy

[SomeMTF]

It depends highly on therapist.

[SusanK]

No, you don't have to go en femme.
A good therapist should take you seriously, even if you are dressing in a giant hotdog suit and towing a dead goldfish behind you on a length of silver tinsel.

Agree and love the visual, and the therapist asks, "So, which of you is transgender, the fish, the hotdog, or you?" Ok, enuf bad humor.

Any good therapst shouldn't require dressing until you want or you're fulltime for your RLE. If they do require it for sessions, find a new one, they're simply playing mind and power games with you.

[cindybc]

No Doc, it's my imaginary friend here whose transsexual, see, she's wearing a dress!

Not necessarily, if they ask you if you would like to com in dressed in the gender you desire to be, they are just leaving an opening or option for you to do so if you so desire to.  They will also ask if you are wearing anything to enhance the feeling of the gender you desire to be, like undergarments. kind of suggesting to experiment with your desire.

Cindy

[paulault55]

I'm glad your first session went well, i have weekly appointments that are an hour long i think because my insurance covers it, but what i do is i have a pad and as i think of things i write them down for my next visit, it makes it easier for me to remember. I especially at first would think about things in my childhood and later years that confirmed what i knew all my life and noting them helped, my current sessions are quite a bit different these days, instead of talking about my past i am now talking and making plans for my future.



Paula.

[Sandy]

I'm happy that everything went well for you!

Having a therapist that you can open up to really helps.  I'm glad for you!

Congrats!

-Sandy

[sabrina]

sorry coming in late to the convo but when I first went to my therapist I wore what I was comfie in, basically baggie shorts and an over sized t shirt. 

For me clothes do not make who I am, that is decided and has been decided since I was well born.  I wear jeans and I am still a girl, a skirt and yep still a girl. 

I say wear what clothes you feel comfortable in but that is just my opinion. 

[katherine]

Hi all, this is interesting.  I didn't dress on my first three sessions.  It was mostly a matter of not being seen by my wife in case she arrived home early from work.  Subsequent sessions I was a bit more bold and did, however, I wore jeans, flats, and a simple blouse.  Enough to be comfortable.  She was very pleasant and I enjoyed our conversations.  I wish I could contact her again now, since I'm ready to move on.  She was my second therapist.  My first therapist was taking me no where and had no experience with women like myself.  Anyway, my second therapist never asked me to dress, but I felt so comfortable with her, that I decided to do it.  I hope she'll see me again and not think I'm wasting her time.