Do I need to go en femme to the first therapy session?

[Alexis R]

Do I need to go en femme to the first therapy session? What were your experiences in this area?

I'm worried because I don't think I present well and I certainly don't pass very well. I just want to be taken seriously by those around me and by the therapist him/herself.

Angela

Edited to clean up crappy grammar.

[Vexing]

No, you don't have to go en femme.
A good therapist should take you seriously, even if you are dressing in a giant hotdog suit and towing a dead goldfish behind you on a length of silver tinsel.

[tinkerbell]

No, you don't have to go en femme.
A good therapist should take you seriously, even if you are dressing in a giant hotdog suit and towing a dead goldfish behind you on a length of silver tinsel.

I concur.  Besides, most people who are going to therapy for the first time are pre-everything and NOT living in the gender role of their gender identification (i.e, RLT), so why the heck would a therapist want you to suddenly dress as such?

tink

[NicholeW.]

No, you don't have to go en femme.
A good therapist should take you seriously, even if you are dressing in a giant hotdog suit and towing a dead goldfish behind you on a length of silver tinsel.

Not sure a "good therapist" would necessarily be "good" for the reason given. Certainly one would take that example seriously, but perhaps not immediately take seriously that you had gender difficulties as the first priority in that garb!

But, the answer to your question is, as has been said twice, NO.

No points off toward your cumulative and mandatory 100 you must accumulate before you're allowed to transition.

Nichole

[Janet_Girl]

I waited till my four session to go as me.  This is a nice to meet you meeting.  you will know when you should go as you.  Your therapist will understand that.

Janet

[Alexis R]

No, you don't have to go en femme.
A good therapist should take you seriously, even if you are dressing in a giant hotdog suit and towing a dead goldfish behind you on a length of silver tinsel.

Wow. What a visual. 

Thanks to everyone for the information.

Angela

[Kate]

In theory, no you don't. In practice... it depends on the therapist and his or her expectations and understanding of what TSism is truly about.

~Kate~

[NicholeW.]

In theory, no you don't. In practice... it depends on the therapist and his or her expectations and understanding of what TSism is truly about.

~Kate~

Does that mean your therapist required you to come dressed to your first appointment?

Nichole

[Kate]

Does that mean your therapist required you to come dressed to your first appointment?

Did she SAY that?

No, she didn't.

~Kate~

[KarenLyn]

I dressed for all my appointments but since I was coming straight from work I learned to make a quick change in the car.

Karen Lyn

[Dana_W]

Absolutely positively one hundred percent NO.

I have never dressed femininely for a single therapy appointment, because I'm not going there to ask for fashion tips and my state of transition hasn't compelled me to do so yet. Any good therapist will take you as you come and try to understand where you're coming from inside. The outside stuff only makes it into the conversation when what you're telling them makes it an issue (i.e. if you tell your therapist you dress everywhere except when you visit them; or if you tell them you really, really WANT to show up dressed but you're afraid of rejection from them, they might suggest you show up dressed).

Not many therapists would turn you away for showing up dressed, but I've never heard of a single one who would require it for a first session.

[Alexis R]

In theory, no you don't. In practice... it depends on the therapist and his or her expectations and understanding of what TSism is truly about.

~Kate~

Hmm. Okay, I hope to go to a gender therapist, if I can find one in my area; I'm still searching for one.

Thanks for the information, Kate.

Angela

[Alexis R]

I dressed for all my appointments but since I was coming straight from work I learned to make a quick change in the car.

Karen Lyn

Since I drive a minivan, this might be helpful to remember. Thank you.

Angela

p.s.- I love your signature!

[Alexis R]

Absolutely positively one hundred percent NO.

I have never dressed femininely for a single therapy appointment, because I'm not going there to ask for fashion tips and my state of transition hasn't compelled me to do so yet. Any good therapist will take you as you come and try to understand where you're coming from inside. The outside stuff only makes it into the conversation when what you're telling them makes it an issue (i.e. if you tell your therapist you dress everywhere except when you visit them; or if you tell them you really, really WANT to show up dressed but you're afraid of rejection from them, they might suggest you show up dressed).

Not many therapists would turn you away for showing up dressed, but I've never heard of a single one who would require it for a first session.

This is what I figured the situation would be. A good therapist should allow the client lead the discussion and set the pace for these sorts of things.

Thanks for the feedback. Good post.

Angela

[lady amarant]

In theory, no you don't. In practice... it depends on the therapist and his or her expectations and understanding of what TSism is truly about.

~Kate~

Does that mean your therapist required you to come dressed to your first appointment?

I agree with Kate. Sadly a good few "therapists" here in ZA do penalize you if you're not "presenting correctly" (i.e. either stepford wife or lumberjack)

In theory though no, it should not matter one iota.

~Simone.

[Buffy]

I went to my first appointment with my Phsychiatrist wearing a suit and tie as I had been speaking at a conference on that day.

He remarked how smart I looked, but fully understood how much I hated the clothes I was wearing and how painful it was for me.

It was my third appointment about 6 months later when I actually presented en femme, as he said, I was under no pressure to do anything I was not ready or confident to do.

Rebecca

[goingdown]

It depends on a therapist. Some may think that you must some may think that you must not.

[tekla]

A good therapist should take you seriously, even if you are dressing in a giant hotdog suit and towing a dead goldfish behind you on a length of silver tinsel.

Seriously perhaps, but they will make some conclusions, none of them good.

[Sandy]

My therapist didn't say one way or the other.  Though after a few sessions, she encouraged me to dress.  She had gotten a feel for who I was and felt that I would be more comfortable if I was dressed enfemme.

She was right...

Remember, you are not seeing the therapist for their appreciation.  You are seeing them for you.  In other words, go as yourself.  Be as comfortable as you need to be.  If dressing would make you uncomfortable for the first session, then don't.  Be sure to discuss it with them to find out how it could be accomplished if you wanted to.  My therapist offered an empty office to change in.  She also said she wanted me to wear makeup as well. 

-Sandy

[Chrissty]

I finally booked a therapy session in the first week of the new year.....thanks to a little help from the UK team here 

I decided some time ago that I would be going in boy-mode.

I feel that I need to start from my everyday "reality" and see where the path goes. For me this is a voyage of self discovery, and I just need to talk face to face with someone about these issues for now.

I also have similar concerns to Angela, that if I present female, I may end up spending more time talking about how I look, and not enough about how I feel inside

Chrissty