why am I a m2f lesbian?

[Alyssa M.]

But as I say ... I just don't understand why you would go thru M2F transition to be a lesbian ?

Because lesbians ROCK!!!!!!

All I'm saying that its an odd demographic when some 70% of M2F women on this site seem to identify as gay or bi (see the poll on this subject too ...).

Just want to ask WHY !!!

If you mean etiologically speaking, it's probably because the biological causes behind gender and sexuality are related -- when you start varying them, who knows what you'll get? -- and because the social pressures regarding sexuality when you are transsexual are completely scrambled.

I don't know a single cis-gendered lesbian ...

My condolences, Laura. Lesbians ROCK!!!!

~Alyssa

[Nero]

i think it's because girls are hot. girls look good, so that naturally follows that even other girls can't keep their hands off em.

[TamTam]

i think it's because girls are hot.

I would have to agree with Nero.

And Alyssa's right, too.

[kytheragraves]

I tried men, but men didn't work for me. I never fell in love with one; never felt the same tingly "all is right with the world" feeling when I lay down and nestled in the crook of their arms. That's how my partner makes me feel. I think it's a rush of oxytocin.

There are men I wouldn't kick out of bed for eating crackers. But in general I am far more often attracted to women than men. Does that mean I'm bi?

[mickie88]

All I'm saying that its an odd demographic when some 70% of M2F women on this site seem to identify as gay or bi (see the poll on this subject too ...).

Just want to ask WHY !!!

In the female population its hardly even 5%, I don't know a single cis-gendered lesbian ...

Laura x

i know quite a few...and identify as m2f lesbian as well :>)

[Ms Bev]

Sure, but why so many M2F women who either have wives or girlfriends, or are attracted to other women, lesbian far far more than the average population ?

laura x

Because, that population is statistically skewed.  The odds of a pre-transition lesbian m2f pairing with a woman rather than a man is.....ummmmm.....
yup.......100%.

If I had been born female, I would have been sex=female, gender=female, orientation=lesbian. 

Instead, I was born sex=male (like you), gender=female (like you), and orientation=lesbian.

Ya got your sex, your gender, and your orientation.
Honestly, I wish you would get over this....

Simple as one, two, three.



Gay Bev


that's why.
Post Merge: January 18, 2009, 09:41:53 PM

But as I say ... I just don't understand why you would go thru M2F transition to be a lesbian ?

Ugg! This is the same mindset I often find outside the trans-world.  You are trans, right?
The reason, Laura, is that I find making love to a woman as a man to be repellent, disagreeable, and unworkable.  Most lesbians I know don't want to 'really be men'.....no.....we are women!  And we form relationships to, and make love to other women.


Bev

[Chaunte]

If I understand the medical literature correctly, gender identity and sexual orientation are two seperate sections of the brain.  The required genetic traits combined with when and how long an inutero hormonal imbalance happens will determine our identiy and preference.  They are not necessariloy mutually inclusive.

[Natasha]

I just don't understand why you would go thru M2F transition to be a lesbian ?

Transsexuality 101

"For simplicity, a transsexual is a person whose inner sense of gender identity and brain patterns are completely the opposite of what physical form they are born into. This is a recognized medical condition which is completely unrelated to sexuality or sexual preference at all, but unfortunately society sees only brazen gay and bisexual people out there using gender bending to express their sexuality and assumes this is what transsexuals are too. A real transsexual has no more in common with a drag queen, gay or bisexual person than they do with a chimpanzee! They have a deep basic incongruity between their inner identity and their physical form which can only best be expressed as something which is within their very soul. Transsexuality occurs in equal numbers across born male and born female people. Estimates are that approximately 1 in 30,000 people are born with the condition."

http://www.breesaffirmation.org/Transsexuality.htm

[europopprincess]

I tried men, but men didn't work for me. I never fell in love with one; never felt the same tingly "all is right with the world" feeling when I lay down and nestled in the crook of their arms. That's how my partner makes me feel. I think it's a rush of oxytocin.

I have always had the same feeling when I used to date guys, but when reflecting upon myself, I decided that a body is just a body, and that what's really important to a great relationship is what's on the inside.

[kirakero]

I'm like, totally gay.  So there.  I wrote up a bunch about it on my blog.  Really... I don't even want a guy as a close friend.  Just girls!  They're yummy and fantastic~

[katherine]

I agree with these being separate issues.  Why go through m2f transition to be a lesbian?  That's a strange question to me.  You go through transition to live life as your true gender. If you happen to be lesbian, then that's simply your sexual preference.  Sexually, I have no preference.  Just because I will still enjoy the company of a woman it doesn't make me less of a woman. Gender and sexual orientation are not the same thing, as others have pointed out.  Samantha, don't be confused by the two.  You're sexual orientation has no bearing on your gender.

[Hypatia]

What's with the belief that trans women can't be lesbian?

[Jade H]

I'm like, totally gay.  So there.  I wrote up a bunch about it on my blog.  Really... I don't even want a guy as a close friend.  Just girls!  They're yummy and fantastic~

I feel the same - Have always had difficulty communicating/relating with/to guys...

Nice blog BTW!

[Laura Eva B]

I'm like, totally gay.  So there.  I wrote up a bunch about it on my blog.  Really... I don't even want a guy as a close friend.  Just girls!  They're yummy and fantastic~

I feel the same - Have always had difficulty communicating/relating with/to guys...

Nice blog BTW!

Kira & Jade ... doesn't it kind of seem that you're transitions were not so much because you always felt and ID'd as female, but more because you couldn't relate to your male peers, faced rejection, bullying or worse, but you fancied and envied girls and saw being a girl and lesbian as a total "escape" ?

I sure can't "relate" with guys like a guy does, but that doesn't stop me enjoying their company (especially in a one to one situation), talking and engaging with them.

I find that as a woman when I'm with a bunch of guys there's no pressure to compete on their terms, yet I'm "included" and respected, which makes it so much more fun ...

Sure I find many women pretty ... but sexually ? ... give me the arms of a strong and attractive guy around me.  Nothing makes you feel more desireable, wanted and valued ...

Laura x

[mina.magpie]

Kira & Jade ... doesn't it kind of seem that you're transitions were not so much because you always felt and ID'd as female, but more because you couldn't relate to your male peers, faced rejection, bullying or worse, but you fancied and envied girls and saw being a girl and lesbian as a total "escape" ?

I can't speak for either of them, but for me that was totally not the case. I grew up not being able to relate to males because I knew I was a girl. Nothing more or less. I knew I was a girl and related to other girls waaaaaayyyyyy before I even knew what sexual attraction was, nevermind felt it.

Ultimately sweetie, you like boys, and I like girls. That does not define either of us though. It's simply who we are attracted to, not who we are.

Mina.

[Mikee-Michelle]

Being neither male or female, my life has been one of several
different paths. Yes have been with males, yet there was never
a connection. But with a GG there were a few(perhaps only 2)
that had that warm snuggle up close to feeling. It may well be
that somewhere in my mindset(be that whatever) that all the
things and feelings occur with a woman only. Somehow within
me lay things that only a woman can touch, yes it may well be
that my sexual path lie with a female, but after all, still a male
in body. The fine line of who,what and how still remains a
secret, not only to myself and others, but the world, currently.
As far as you sexual preference, it is of only a concern to the
women in your life, as to how you treat them and feel about
what you expect of your ownself.

Mikee-Michelle

[Jade H]

Kira & Jade ... doesn't it kind of seem that you're transitions were not so much because you always felt and ID'd as female, but more because you couldn't relate to your male peers, faced rejection, bullying or worse, but you fancied and envied girls and saw being a girl and lesbian as a total "escape" ?

No - As a young boy, (early years of puberty) I quickly adapted to portraying a stereotypical male. I knew (but didn't quite agree with) what was expected of me - I played the part pretty convincingly for the next 20 years... I will admit - I was envious of the girls... still am...

Pre-puberty, all my closest friends were girls - it's where I felt most comfortable. I had male friends - but they were not as much fun (to be around) as the girls. Young boys also seemed (to me) to be "not as bright" (intellectually) as the girls. They (the boys) were also interested in things that I simply was not.

I still think that (most) men (and boys) are a little "slow"... and gross.. And hairy and smelly and... EEEWWW

Throughout my life, I've had (still have) far more (close) female friends than male ones.


But then again I identify more (at this stage of my life) as a feminine androgyne lesbian... or a failed M2F lesbian?

Who knows, I may have a change of heart (regarding males) further down the road... 'doubt it though... My wife still teases me about the possibility...

...I was a girl and related to other girls waaaaaayyyyyy before I even knew what sexual attraction was, nevermind felt it.

Ultimately sweetie, you like boys, and I like girls. That does not define either of us though. It's simply who we are attracted to, not who we are.

Mina.

Exactly!!!

[Hypatia]

For me, lesbian is more than just a sexual orientation. It's a social and political identity as well, and it dovetails with my feminism. To me, women loving women is the highest value in life.

[kirakero]

For me, lesbian is more than just a sexual orientation. It's a social and political identity as well, and it dovetails with my feminism. To me, women loving women is the highest value in life.

I feel strongly for and completely agree with this statement.  So much so that I find heterosexual relationships hard to understand.  Being a lesbian woman, loving a woman... is the most natural thing for me.

I feel the same - Have always had difficulty communicating/relating with/to guys...

Nice blog BTW!

Thank you Jade~  And also I would say I feel the same way in regards to communication with guys.

[Laura Eva B]

To me, women loving women is the highest value in life.

Many would say that "men loving women" and "women loving men", complimenting feminine and masculine characteristics and strengths, enabling procreation, and providing the balanced stable environment to raise children is the highest value in life ... ...

I need a partner who doesn't mirror me but who complements me, filling in the gaps where I am weak.

Laura x

Post Merge: January 24, 2009, 01:25:52 PM

For me, lesbian is more than just a sexual orientation. It's a social and political identity as well, and it dovetails with my feminism. To me, women loving women is the highest value in life.

I feel strongly for and completely agree with this statement.  So much so that I find heterosexual relationships hard to understand.  Being a lesbian woman, loving a woman... is the most natural thing for me.

None of us would be here if it weren't for heterosexual relationships !

Get some sense ... most women on this planet are attracted to guys, and vice-versa ...

Was a time when claiming to be M2F transsexual and seeking treatment, you would not even reach the starting blocks if you professed any attraction to women, let alone were married !!!

Laura x