Changes that went by unnoticed

[iminadaze]

Because I see myself everyday I didn't notice the changes in my body shape from the hormones.
I'm always picking out the male features that I don't want rather than noticing the female features
that I have gained.

I cry myself to sleep often because I feel that I missed my chance to get the physical changes,
although I do notice the emotional ones, they kick my behind everyday.

....well yesterday my girlfriend bought us a new camera at some once a year expo sale and
because I'm always whining about my hair length she took a picture of me and my little ponytail
to gage its length over time.

when I saw the picture later that night on my PC those emotions kicked in, only they were tears
of joy, because that was the first time I noticed the change and could see a feminine shape
rather than a masculine one

Sorry about covering my face but I have an electrolysis appt. today plus its a profile and...
well you know how it goes.

 

I love this forum...I have a happy moment and get to share it with so many loving people

Thanks for being here everyone


  *Hugs* Nicole

[RebeccaFog]

Pretty cool.  I'd think you were one of the women I stand in line with when I'm getting coffee and stuff.

Nice!   

(I don't mean that in a creepy way)

[paulault55]

Hi Nicole,

About a month ago i put together a page with some pitures, one was before 2007 before i started hrt and a few since and one current, my avatar is the current one, I was totally shocked at the changes in 8 months, gone was the unhappy, shy and introverted  guy and now a happy, outgoing and fun to be around woman. When we see ourselves everyday we don't see the subtle changes that have taken place over time. For me i have been getting lots of questions from people that don't see me that often like "did you get a haircut", "is that a new shirt", "have you lost weight" they see something different about me but don't know what and i expect the same for you. I love your picture i would kill to have hair like yours, for me it's going to take a long time.

Paula. 

[JENNIFER]

We are our own worst enemies aren't we?  I too can only see the male in my face, having still to shave it etc.  but some friends that see me rarely comment on how relaxed I am now that I am living freely as a woman. 

As mentioned in other threads recently, I look forward to when I start full HRT in the coming few weeks and seeing what happens next.

[Chrissty]

L kin' Good Nicole!



Chrissty

[katherine]

Hi Nicole! You look great! Like Jennifer said, we are our own worse enemy.  Now you don't have to be so hard on yourself!

[rosey]

u look fine
dont be so down u look very femine
roseu=y

[Jessie_Heart]

well from that picture I can not see anything I would consider a masculine feature. you have a very nice and very feminine figure!

[V M]

Looks to me like things are shaping up rather well for you 

Virginia lets out a wolf whistle 

[Firelight]

Extremely pretty. You've got me so jealous now.

[Virginia87106]

Yes, you really look great, and so feminine.

[iminadaze]

Thank you all so much. I would not have made it this far without the advice
and support of all you wonderful people here at Susan's, While the road
for me is still long, it is a blessing to know that all of you will be here
when I reach the end.


There is a place in my heart for each and every one of you.


.....Nicole

[Virginia87106]

Dear-  I have been on this journey for 11 years and I still have not reached the "end".
Has anyone?  I mean reached a point where there is no more body mods, like electrolysis?

[Jessie_Heart]

Dear-  I have been on this journey for 11 years and I still have not reached the "end".
Has anyone?  I mean reached a point where there is no more body mods, like electrolysis?

I am in hopes that even once we get to the point of no more needed body mods it isn't the end. I hope it is just the next step and I can then continue with my body the way i want it!

[iminadaze]

Just more great reasons to cherish this Forum family.

you help keep things in perspective.....

My new mantra...There is no end, only new beginnings



*Hugs*  Nicole

[Northern Jane]

Well I reached "the end" in 1974 and everything since then has just been growing and growing older. Memories are just "mundane", like seeing a picture from my 20's and smiling, wondering "Was I really that thin?" - man that was a LONG time ago! Seems I  am turning into my grandmother 

[Ashley315]

I to have been getting the "you look different" from a lot of people (co-workers, random people who have known me all my life) who don't know the truth.  It's only been 4 months on HRT for me and I'm finding passing as a guy getting pretty difficult.  I'm constantly getting called ma'am at work, creating some very awkward situations when they do it in front of my boss, who has known me and my family all my life.  Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time someone called me sir. 

Problem is, most of the time when I look in the mirror, I just see what I think are "male" traits to my face and body.  I hope that goes away eventually.  I'm sick of it.  I just want to see what I am, a woman.

[Firelight]

I to have been getting the "you look different" from a lot of people (co-workers, random people who have known me all my life) who don't know the truth.  It's only been 4 months on HRT for me and I'm finding passing as a guy getting pretty difficult.  I'm constantly getting called ma'am at work, creating some very awkward situations when they do it in front of my boss, who has known me and my family all my life.  Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time someone called me sir. 

Problem is, most of the time when I look in the mirror, I just see what I think are "male" traits to my face and body.  I hope that goes away eventually.  I'm sick of it.  I just want to see what I am, a woman.

I might be misunderstanding you. Are you trying to pass as a man while at work?

[Ashley315]

Yes.   I would loose my job if they knew I was trans so I go in guy mode.

[paulault55]

Ashley i know what you mean by strange questions, I'm not out to many only Dr's and some family and my HR department at work which btw is fine with me transitioning. I been on Hrt 8 months and starting get asked if i lost weight, did i get a haircut, did i get a new shirt and on and on, at first i was not aware of what was going on but now that i am I'm having fun with it.

Paula.