I feel like it's too late...

[Asilidae]

Hi. I've always known that I was a girl inside, but I was always too scared to pursue a sex change... Now I'm twenty one and I feel like... I'm too late for it to work. Like, my testosterone has already done too much damage... I don't know how much hormones and FFS can do, but when I look at myself I just can't see myself ever passing as a woman... Am I just being weird? Is there hope?

[Suzy]

21?  Are you joking?  Many of the girls here on the board spent a lot of years just trying to figure out what was going on.  We would love to go back and start at 21 again.  I do understand about the passing, though.  I couldn't see myself as passing, ever.  Now it is no big deal, it is a normal part of my life.

Kristi

[aubrey]

Yes you're being "weird" lol. Hon, there are people doing it in their 60s. Yes T has done some damage but you're still young enough that most of it can be erased or unrecognizable, the sooner the better, and you're luckier than most. Have you looked at many before and after pics? Many times you would think when looking at the before pic that they would have problems, yet in the after pic they look amazing. Miracles can and do happen everyday There's more that I could say but I'll let others pick it up.

[Jessie_Heart]

Hi. I've always known that I was a girl inside, but I was always too scared to pursue a sex change... Now I'm twenty one and I feel like... I'm too late for it to work. Like, my testosterone has already done too much damage... I don't know how much hormones and FFS can do, but when I look at myself I just can't see myself ever passing as a woman... Am I just being weird? Is there hope?

There is always hope!! As far as passing as a woman this seems to me to be a word that is misunderstood. Can I pass as a woman seems to be a loaded question. what does being a woman mean to you? if it means being able to carry yourself in a respectable manner (whatever this means to you) in your true gender then yes I believe anyone who cares to can pass with flying colors. If you mean you feel that in order to be a real woman you must resemble people you see in magizines that are aimed at arousing men unless you have a very kind fairy god mother I doubt it (please if you find this fairy god mother send her around to some of the rest of us who would like the help as well!).

there is no one example that you can point to and say that is a woman. My partner is by no means a petite little girly thing but if that means she isn't a real woman I will let someone else pass that news to her (I am brave but I do not have a death wish).

I have been maamed a few times and I have had people look at me in ways I was sure meant they "knew" as far as weather or not I pass I can't say for sure I haven't recieved my report card as of yet but I figure if nothing else if I do not pass I can take summer school to make it up.... Remember a D may not be a flattering grade but it is still a passing grade so just because you may not be an A+ it doesn't mean you are not a woman!

[mina.magpie]

Pretty-much if you can get started before the end of your "growing years", around 25, you're set. Even afterwards, it only takes longer for HRT to work, right up into your thirties - you'll have some bulk and tallness and a heavier skeleton to deal with, but it's during the 30's that that ... "hardness" characteristic of males really sets in, and even that can be substantially reversed after a few years on hormones.

Mina.

[Buffy]

I guess many of the people on this forum have regrets about their lives and the wish to go back and do things earlier or different.

But, you are where you are, no turning the clock back and the only way is to move forward, try and forget the past.

Focus on being you and not some ideal sterotype woman, they dont exist as there is great variation in body types, build etc. What you look like now bears no resembalance to how you will look like following transition and most male markers can be changed.

I transitioned at 38 with the same fears, regrets and paranoia that I see time and time again from people who have found the courage or are seeking the courage to transition.

10 years on following FFS, Hormones, electrolysis, speech therapy I live a life unreconisable from my previous existance. The physical changes and surgeries have helped, the confidence and peace of mind immense and the world see's me as nothing more than a woman in everything I do, work, sport and relationships.

10 Years ago I was going to end my life as I never thought I would pass, never thought I would be accepted, never thought I could ever possibly be seen as Female, given the starting point from which those changes had to be made.

Think outside the box and dont get caught in the fear of what you need to do.

Rebecca

[Janet_Girl]

Oh to be 21 again.  If you think you are feeling scared now, try it at my age.  I am 54. And I have just began.  I am 4 months full time, and 8 months HRT.  Almost 5 and 9.  I haven't had FFS and I may not.  Orchie around the corner, SRS sometime in the future.

But I am happy.  I do regret not doing it 25 years ago, but that is water under the bridge.  I am here now.

Just enjoy the journey.  It will all come together when you least except it.

Janet

[Nigella]

21?  Are you joking?  Many of the girls here on the board spent a lot of years just trying to figure out what was going on.  We would love to go back and start at 21 again.  I do understand about the passing, though.  I couldn't see myself as passing, ever.  Now it is no big deal, it is a normal part of my life.

Kristi

Kristi' is right, there is no given age but the younger you are the better the effects of HRT. It all depends on how well your body reacts to HRT as well. I know some people it doesn't effect much while others even in there 50's it has. I was 49 when started on HRT I'm now 50.

One thing to consider at 21 however is if you want to have children of your own (at least biological one's) SRS obviously destroys your reproductive organs but I do know that some have their sperm/eggs frozen.

I suggest seeing a gender dysphoria therapist as soon as you can, but don't worry about having left if to late at 21 omg if only I was that age, lol.

Stardust

[Jay]

Your the same age as me.

There are alot of people start transition at many diffrent stages alot of our lovely ladies
on here are 50+ And they have had T in their bodies for years.

There are alot of You can never been "too old" to be happy eh?

[Amy85]

Have you looked at many before and after pics? Many times you would think when looking at the before pic that they would have problems, yet in the after pic they look amazing. Miracles can and do happen everyday

Where can you find some of those pictures? I would be very curious to see how much an effect HRT can have.

[Cindy]

Hun,
I know 21 feels old. I tried to trans at 13-26. I'm knw 56 and doing it.
There is a mantra: Find a therapist, ask questions, here is a good place. Don't be frightened, we are all from the same bgd.

Ask.
If your mind says yes, and you trust your mind go for it.
Find a therapist. Tell us what country you are in can help!   

(Americans, the whole IT system was built for American's desires)  I don't believe this, but only just!

Cindy James.

Feeling Lonely
Again

[Holly-chan]

I am also 21 and I was worried about being too old to transtition successfully (if thats what I end up wanting/needing to do) and I think all of you are wonderful!

I hope things go well for you Asilidae, and I hope we can share stories about our experience as we progress through these issues.

[Wendy C]

oh, sweetie! You are so lucky to be that age and worrying about the outcome is normal, most of us do have doubts. The results vary between individuals but at your age you probably wont have a lot to worry about. By the way, I started HRT 15 months ago at age 60 and am about to go full time in 2 weeks. I didnt think I could do it either. Hugs

Wendy

[gennee]

You're young yet and you're just starting out. I know people who transitioned when in their fifties and it was the best thing that they did. Don't give up on yourself so soon. Research and investigate. believe that you CAN become the person that you are.

Gennee

[karen13]

are you kidding? at twenty-one is when most doctors want you to be before they even consider a transition.  I am 54, and considering transition starting later this year.

[vanna]

lmao

sorry i know it worries you Asilidae, but 21 ohhh yes the worlds going to end...seriously id swap you and throw in a free meal or two.

[Naturally Blonde]

Hi. I've always known that I was a girl inside, but I was always too scared to pursue a sex change... Now I'm twenty one and I feel like... I'm too late for it to work. Like, my testosterone has already done too much damage... I don't know how much hormones and FFS can do, but when I look at myself I just can't see myself ever passing as a woman... Am I just being weird? Is there hope?

Some people no matter how old or young have different experiences of physical development and some have more male development than others regardless of age.

You may be right but we don't know as we haven't seen a picture to make any kind of statement or comment either way. You may have far less male development than you think you have?

[gween]

it is never to late, i remmeber looking in the mirror before i started saying you can never do this but after i started i dont care anymore im just being me just be you then the rest will come in time . i wish you good luck in your journy what ever path you take

[Lacey Lynne]

I am 53 and am only just now SERIOUSLY considering transitioning!  JanetLynn has inspired me so much.  Thank you SO much, JanetLynn!

At 21, Babes, go ... for ... IT!!!

Love you all, gals!  You're awesome! 

Oh to be 21 again.  If you think you are feeling scared now, try it at my age.  I am 54. And I have just began.  I am 4 months full time, and 8 months HRT.  Almost 5 and 9.  I haven't had FFS and I may not.  Orchie around the corner, SRS sometime in the future.

But I am happy.  I do regret not doing it 25 years ago, but that is water under the bridge.  I am here now.

Just enjoy the journey.  It will all come together when you least except it.

Janet

[Janet_Girl]

You are welcome Lacey.

I am just a girl trying to become the woman I should have been.  Anyone can do this at any age, but it does take work.  Practice your craft so to speak.  That is how every woman before us learned to become themselves.

Janet