I'd like to start you all off with a little back-story. I'm 25 years old - and hopefully going about this just in time - and I've finally decided that it was high time for me to start taking steps toward becoming who I really am. I've toyed around with the idea for a very long time, but always stopped myself for one reason or another (top of the list: POTENTIAL FAMILY REACTION). Just the same, I've made no secret at all about my gender identity, being honest to a fault.
So recently, I did a rather bold thing and moved from my home state of Colorado to Virginia to stay for some time with a very close friend (who by the way knows everything about this) and his two roommates (who have no idea about me). What I'd like to do is get a job and settle in with them. They're all going to college, I've graduated and have done some work in the broadcasting industry. They are all for this idea (being short a roommate to chip in for the apartment), but one small cause for concern is that they're really looking into resigning their lease by the 13th of February in order to get 300 dollars off of their next month's rent (signing bonus). As such, I feel pressured to find something very quickly, and I'm not sure I can do that in a relatively small college town. I know my friend would cover for me at least for awhile, but I don't want to impose on him more than I need to. Plus, if I don't sign with them, I'm certain they'll find someone else to do so, and I'll really be in a jam.
More importantly, now that I'm finally allowing myself to feel all of these things, they seem to be coming out in an incredible rush... almost too much to control. Although I can be patient and wait to speak about this, I've been doing things very differently in private than I ever have before, and I've really been taking a serious look at this female side of me (seemingly unable to look at anything else). I actually went out and bought a few nice things to wear in private and started shaving my legs as well. I bring this up to say that if I have to leave my friends before I can settle in, especially before I can start going into therapy and fixing this part of me, I'm worried about what it could do to me as a person.
So... on with the (MANY) questions...
Is there something I can do to take control of this new yearning I'm feeling to do something about this part of me? My initial in-person consultation is about a week away, and I'm sure you'll understand when I say that it seems like 1,000 years. And that's just for the initial consultation. I can only imagine waiting for a few months of sessions in order to start HRT, and because I know the dangers, I know better than to rush into that. No warnings necessary there. At the same time, it's starting to feel more and more wrong for me to behave and dress male, especially now. What can I do to ease the pain of waiting? Other than coming to you for your understanding, of course. 
Although there is nothing more I'd like than to start going around as a girl, there's a few realities I have to accept at this moment. For instance, although I've got a very nice figure even now, my face isn't quite right for this sort of thing at present, and I don't have nearly enough clothes to do something like that. How do you even BEGIN doing things like this?
Let's say I'm able to find a job while I'm out here in the short time I have allotted. What happens with my job down the line if I'm approved for HRT and am able to start transitioning? It's not like it's something I can hide as I'm going through it.
Let's say I'm NOT able to get a job in time. Best case scenario is that I have to move my stuff from one room into my friend's room and sleep on the floor in there. The worst-case scenario that I have to leave them completely. The closest safe haven I have would be to stay with my brother in Connecticut, and that's about 8 hours away. And if that's the case, I can say bye-bye to the clinic I want to go to. What would I do then?
And here's a question that I know has no easy answers... family revelations. I think I'm going to have a serious discussion with my brother at least, if only because he's the one person I think will understand what I'm going through the most. I guess this isn't so much a question as an acknowledgment, but still.
For that matter, though, how should I go about discussing this with my roommates? While I'm certain they won't take issue with it, it's not exactly an easy subject to broach with people that are just starting to know you.
There's a lot more questions racing around in my head, but they're doing so so fast that I can't catch them long enough to write them down. As such, I'll add more of these questions as I think of them. Thanks so much for all of your help, everyone. It's a scary, strange, exciting time for me, but having you all hear to discuss this with is so very helpful.
