NOTE FROM MANAGEMENT
It has come to the attention of management that certain employees have been caught using company computer equipment in inappropriate ways during business hours.
Activities include posting about fish and bacon and all manner of foul food concoctions. It also appears that attempts are being plotted to overtake management, or to establish a new company.
Recent posts even include obscure references to an old TV show done by a creepy looking guy.
Management reminds employees that come of you have signed non-compete agreements, and besides we are the ones in charge, not you. We own you and expect you to behave accordingly.
Signed
MANAGEMENT