pre-transition dudes dating guys...

[Yochanan]

I've got this guy I've been talking to and we're both pretty into each other. I was wondering, though, how exactly pre-transition gay/bi/whatever transmen deal with going out with dudes. Do you get them to see you as a guy? Do they see you as a "girl who wants a sex change"? Do they see you as genderless? How do they treat you, like a girl or a guy or an in-between? And how do you get across that you were never a girl and never will be?

[Jeatyn]

My boyfriend just treats me like a guy, but I suppose it helps that when we met I was already binding and insisting on male pronouns and whatnot from everyone who knew me from before.

[Jack Daniels]

   Yochanan, i suppose it depends who you re talkin to, but I would think that it the dude is gay, and likes a pre-transition dude, then he ll see him as a guy. If he s bi, or hetero, then it would depend. Especailly if he s hetero, hmm, I mean anything is possible Im sure I straight guy could fall for an ftm , but I m not sure he would then he him as a guy though. Probably as a girl who wants a sex change. Now as for the Bi, or the open minded,who knows.

 

[gravitysrainbow]

My boyfriend is bi, though leaning toward gay. We've been dating on and off for a year now, and he tells me it took him about eight months to fully see me as male. Though he knew I wasn't a girl from the very first time we met. He told me after we'd spent a couple days together that there's just something about me that makes it impossible to see me as fully female. He still has issues when we have sex, but I think it makes him see me as more genderless or in between for those moments than as female, even though he sees that I'm obviously female-bodied.

He sees me as a guy, and likes me as a guy, and we both can't wait for me to go on T and have top surgery. I think he just deals with my body in a very similar way to me. Y'know...it's the same issue I have, with the inner image and outer image not matching up. So we're both excited for me to start transition eventually. It seems like a pretty ideal situation to me, at least as far as how he relates to my gender.

I don't know that there's anything you can do to "get" him to see you as a guy. The only thing you can do is be yourself, and hope that he picks up on the same things that tell YOU you're not female.

[Silver]

Hnn, I'm still in the closet. 'Nuff said. I don't intend to come out until I at least have a possibility of transition starting. This is not the case right now. It will be 3+ years before I even have a chance at counseling.

Silver