I've got this guy I've been talking to and we're both pretty into each other. I was wondering, though, how exactly pre-transition gay/bi/whatever transmen deal with going out with dudes. Do you get them to see you as a guy? Do they see you as a "girl who wants a sex change"? Do they see you as genderless? How do they treat you, like a girl or a guy or an in-between? And how do you get across that you were never a girl and never will be?

My boyfriend just treats me like a guy, but I suppose it helps that when we met I was already binding and insisting on male pronouns and whatnot from everyone who knew me from before.

   Yochanan, i suppose it depends who you re talkin to, but I would think that it the dude is gay, and likes a pre-transition dude, then he ll see him as a guy. If he s bi, or hetero, then it would depend. Especailly if he s hetero, hmm, I mean anything is possible Im sure I straight guy could fall for an ftm , but I m not sure he would then he him as a guy though. Probably as a girl who wants a sex change. Now as for the Bi, or the open minded,who knows.

 

My boyfriend is bi, though leaning toward gay. We've been dating on and off for a year now, and he tells me it took him about eight months to fully see me as male. Though he knew I wasn't a girl from the very first time we met. He told me after we'd spent a couple days together that there's just something about me that makes it impossible to see me as fully female. He still has issues when we have sex, but I think it makes him see me as more genderless or in between for those moments than as female, even though he sees that I'm obviously female-bodied.

He sees me as a guy, and likes me as a guy, and we both can't wait for me to go on T and have top surgery. I think he just deals with my body in a very similar way to me. Y'know...it's the same issue I have, with the inner image and outer image not matching up. So we're both excited for me to start transition eventually. It seems like a pretty ideal situation to me, at least as far as how he relates to my gender.

I don't know that there's anything you can do to "get" him to see you as a guy. The only thing you can do is be yourself, and hope that he picks up on the same things that tell YOU you're not female.

Hnn, I'm still in the closet. 'Nuff said. I don't intend to come out until I at least have a possibility of transition starting. This is not the case right now. It will be 3+ years before I even have a chance at counseling.

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