Does any gay FTMs here get a "Ships passing in the night" feeling with bioguys?

[petzjazz]

I was talking to one of my gay biomale friends, who I've known since junior high. We've always been extremely compatible personality-wise and gotten along well - we're prone to witty exchanges and chasing one another around the school during rehearsal. He knows me as a lesbian - I'm not attracted exclusively (or really much at all) to either sex, but since I won't be socially transitioning (and moving to the opposite side of the country) until this summer, it's easier to let him think what he will.

Whenever I talk to him, I always get an odd, wistful feeling. It's not so much attraction as it's a kind of "If only" feeling that pretty much sums up like this:
"Man, if I were a gay bioguy, we'd be together like THAT."
This has happened with him and with another gay male friend of mine (though less with the 2nd friend because the 2nd friend and I are not as personality-compatible). It's like having a brush with an alternate universe where I know I'd be completely into these guys - if I were a biomale. It's like Will and Grace - the personality compatibility is totally there, and all that's in the way is the physical reality. It's not even an "ARGH, I WISH I WAS A BIOGUY I HATE MY FEMALE BODY" feeling; it's an acknowledgement that if I were biologically male, I would be completely into these guys and would chase them/try for a relationship. There's no real emotion attached to it other than a vague wistfulness.

Has anyone else had any kind of "alternate reality where I'm a bioguy" moments, where you look at something without any real emotion and acknowledge how something would be if you were born male? Not wishing you were one - just acknowledging how something would be if you were.

As of now, I'm not attracted to much of anything - but I have a feeling that I'm going to be one of those guys that "turns gay" during transition.   

[joannatsf]

I'm MTF but one of my best friends is a gay FTM.  I don't think it's that unusual for people to be gay and transsexual.  While I confess that I love the penis, I really prefer the company of lesbian women.
If you can get something going with these guys that you like, go for it.  Consider it research on your sexuality!

Google Buck Angel if you want to see an FTM that embraces his gayness.

[Jaimey]

My answer is YES!  Very much yes!

I almost think it's because I want to be an equal with my partner and for me, part of that equality is being the same sex.    Could be, anyway. 

[gravitysrainbow]

I have a friend I met online, who I've known for at least 5 years. About a year ago, I admitted to having a crush on her. She lives in Illinois, and she said she sortof had a crush on me too, but we were both in relationships at the time, and she's not into female-bodied people. She didn't say that exactly...what she said was that if we were in another universe, where I lived in her state, and had been born physically male, we would probably be together.

We're great friends, and I love my boyfriend, so it didn't bother me at all. "Wistfulness" is definitely the right word for it. She's very petite and artsy, and she makes me feel like such a guy. But I suppose it just wasn't meant to be.

[reno]

aargh yes, i'm attracted to a gay biomale and of course he loves me "as a friend" and can't be attracted to me since i look and physically am female. thus my grumpy pouty *stamps foot* "i will not have any relationships until i get top surgery and go on T" episode 

[imaz]

Fully understand the feeling

I'm MTF but have always felt the same way about lesbians, don't know why but most of my friends are such as is my wife.

My advice is always go with what you like, not with what people say you should like.

[Jeatyn]

Definitely, my best friend I had all through school is gay and we even tried to be a couple once "just to see" but it was weird. Now if I was a bio-guy things might have been different.

[emoboi]

oh yea i would totally be gettin with guys if i were bio male but sadly they wouldnt be into me because they are gay lol

[icontact]

Yeah, I'm bi and doubt I will ever get a guy to like me because of my trans-ness. Not that it matters much, I have an amazing girlfriend. But I guess it just says something when you're a transguy and guys want you as a guy.

[Luc]

I don't get that much anymore, but I certainly remember it from before transition and marriage etc. I had a great propensity, from about 16 on, for being very good friends with a variety of very straight, gorgeous girls... and I always had crushes on them. I can't begin to tell you how many of them said things like, "If you were a guy, you'd be the perfect guy for me." It always drove me nuts, because I AM! And I always was, but people see what's on the outside, nothing more, particularly when determining sexual attraction.

Now that everyone sees me as a guy, I find myself occasionally wondering what things would be like if I hadn't gotten married 2 months after going full-time. Would I have had more relationships with straight girls? Gay men? Strangely enough, even though I always thought of myself as a straight guy and was seen as a straight girl, I dated quite a few gay men before transition... and now, after T, I'm one of those guys who ended up attracted to guys only under T's influence.

It'll come soon enough... that day when people see you as you are. And hopefully, all the experiences you have at that point will make up for the pain you're going through now.

SD

[Elwood]

I don't feel an attraction as much as a I feel a stabbing envy.

[perfectisolation]

It's funny, because I can get really attracted to gay men, in a really sexual way. I even get looks or vibes from guys in public, and I wonder if they're gay or bi, but then I remember what my body is.

[IanToxic]

aw man if i was a bio male i'd be gayer then rupaul having hawt buttsecks under a rainbow with unicorns prancing through a field of flowers...oh wait...i already am! lol but seriously if i were in fact biologically male i would definitely date other bio guys but since this is not the case i can't bring myself to do it. I rather date other FtMs just simply because theres more of a connection and i wouldn't feel so uh awkward with my body as i would with a bio guy lol probably mostly cause i have some doubts as to whether or not a bio guy would see me as an equal or whatever but damn if i were born a boy...*has happy little thoughts and giggles* haha

[JakeDenver]

I dated a bioguy as a Ftm and it just didnt work. He was bi and I felt as though he saw me as less. It just for the sake of explanation was awkward. Anyways I am highly attracted to bio men. But for the sake of the parts I was born with I feel I am more compatible with others ftms. I have never dated one but if I had the chance to date one I would in a heart beat if our personalities matched. I just dont think dating a bioguy would be good for me mentally because I would always be jealous of what he has and what I am longing to have.

[IanToxic]

Gasp! ooo Jake we should hang out and hit on other smexy ftms...lol well you can I'll just watch and giggle cause if I tried hitting on someone it'd just be really reaaaaally sad/pathetic xD

[Jeatyn]

In regards to being envious of bio-guys. I don't really get that, I'm actually much more uncomfortable with girls because it reminds me too much of what I have

[Yochanan]

In regards to being envious of bio-guys. I don't really get that, I'm actually much more uncomfortable with girls because it reminds me too much of what I have

I was just about to post the exact same thing. I just can't get enough of dudes. I'm a dirty flirt. Unfortunately, they all think I'm a dirty flirt of a chick, but it can't be helped. -_-

[IanToxic]

well i think another issue is quite frankly(like alot of transguys) i ->-bleeped-<-ing despise my body haha so with a bio dude its not only like haha! i have the parts you wish you had! feel my superiority!! lol and i don't want a bio dude seeing any part of me but with another transguy well we all have to deal with basically the same ->-bleeped-<- so i dont feel as self conscious and icky lol then again when it comes to women ehhhh i used to really love women...only...but uhhh there becoming so unattractive lately lol i dunno why i mean i heard of guys sexuality changing when they start T and what not but i haven't started T yet lol but oh well im not complaining

[JakeDenver]

well i think another issue is quite frankly(like alot of transguys) i ->-bleeped-<-ing despise my body haha so with a bio dude its not only like haha! i have the parts you wish you had! feel my superiority!! lol and i don't want a bio dude seeing any part of me but with another transguy well we all have to deal with basically the same ->-bleeped-<- so i dont feel as self conscious and icky lol then again when it comes to women ehhhh i used to really love women...only...but uhhh there becoming so unattractive lately lol i dunno why i mean i heard of guys sexuality changing when they start T and what not but i haven't started T yet lol but oh well im not complaining

I totally feelyou on this one. lately women have become less appealing. I am pre T also. Once I began discovering myself and figuring out the true me I think I came closer to being asexual. I know this sounds odd but as of now I could go the rest of my life without ever having sex. I feel no need for it. Is that sad? I am attracted to people but not in a sexual way. I would rather cuddle or have an adult conversation.

[Luc]

Hey guys, quick note... not to be a jerk or anything, but be careful dropping the f-bomb on here... someone WILL notice, and they're not too tolerant of that stuff on this site. Just wanted to let you know before it's a problem.

SD