New Corrupt-A-Wish

[Linda]

Granted, all the haters hate eachother so much they destroy themselves.

I wish I had taken a shower already.

[Dante]

Granted, you have taken a shower already, but you realize you are still extremely dirty, so you have to take another one.

I wish I didn't have to do STAR testing. (FYI: STAR testing is a California State Standardized test we have to take every year. Extremely boring and long.)

[Osiris]

Granted, you don't have to take the test, instead you take the STAR II test twice as long and 20 times more boring!

I wish... I didn't feel so blah.

[Michelle.]

Granted your stuck in "manic mode" forever.

I wish I could find a high paying job.

[Osiris]

Granted you find a high paying job but you don't get it.

I wish I had more water. *dehydrates*

[Mr. Fox]

Granted.  It's sea water.

I wish I had enough money to never work again.

[Michelle.]

Granted... but you have to live in the People's Paradise of North Korea tp be able to afford to do so.

I wish that my putty cat would slumber with me tonight.

[Osiris]

Granted, your putty cat slumbers, and snores and drools all over you.

I wish that I had gone to sleep about .... 3 hours ago.

[Christo]

granted. ur sleepin, this is a nightmare.  I wish everythin in the world was free.

[Mr. Fox]

Fine, communist.  Everything is free because the world is ending and there is utter chaos and nobody cares whether you pay because everyone's going to die.

I wish I didn't have to take physics.

[Osiris]

Granted, you don't need to take the classes but still need to pass all the tests.

I wish people would stop making me feel invisible.

[V M]

Granted.....You are now on a popular television series and don't like the role your playing or signing autographs

I wish I could get more done during the day

[Dante]

Granted, you can do a ton of work in a day, but none of it was what you needed to get done.

I wish I wasn't sick.

[V M]

Ooohhhhh, now that isn't fair 

Granted....Not only are you healthy as a horse, you are a horse 

I wish I could remember what my wish was

[Dante]

Granted, you remember that you were tricked into wishing you had never been born. Your wish is granted, and through some strange time paradox, you end up back at this same moment, where you forgot your wish and I reminded you what it was. You are now stuck in an infinite time loop. Good luck escaping.

I wish the school year was over already.

[V M]

This is coming from an odd time continuum from 1870....

Granted.... The school year is over and you failed miserably.

I wish hand puppets didn't itch

[Mr. Fox]

Granted.  The hand puppets burn and you try to take them off and you can't and the fire spreads across your whole body and you die.  Then the hand puppets wait silently for their next victim.

I wish that I knew how to apply makeup.

[Ellieka]

granted but your arms are now too short to reach your face so you can only do makeup on others.

I wish money really did grow on trees.

[Michelle.]

Granted but the trees only grow in Venezuala... viva la revolotion!!

I wish  I had less "free time."

[Ellieka]

Granted! now your free time cost $3.99 for the first minute and $.99 for each additional minute.

I wish Tyra banks would pay for my SRS.