New Corrupt-A-Wish

[Dante]

^^^I don't think so.

I wish I knew Japanese.

[findingreason]

Wish granted, but all the Japanese you learned was foul-mouth slang, so the people would look at you funny whenever you spoke.

I wish I could play the drums well.

*Edit* note how the recent posts stuff was consumed by this thread

[Flan]

Corrupted my own wish, the thread is dead now!

Granted, but you have to watch it go on for a couple more pages

[Unconditional Acceptance]

I wish I could play the drums well.

Granted, but once you start you can't stop, and your hands fall off.

I wish I could go out to dinner tonight.

[V M]

Granted... But you'll have to eat something Virginia's cooked up. She's a bit of an odd bird ya know 

I wish my neighbors would quit waking me up in the early morning

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted. They now wake you up as soon as you fall asleep at night. 

I wish the Internet wasn't so addictive.

[fae_reborn]

Granted, now you're addicted to TV instead.

I (in all seriousness) wish I could find a job to support myself, and not move back with my parents.

[FairyGirl]

Granted, now you're addicted to TV instead.

I (in all seriousness) wish I could find a job to support myself, and not move back with my parents.

Granted- you get a fantastic paying job! It's so good in fact, that your parents quit theirs and move in with you instead.

I wish people would be careful what they wish for... 

[Michelle.]

Granted, you develop massive co-dependence in addition to being a shopaholic, and thus send all your new purchases to Michelle in WPB, FL.

I wish that I had a mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, and a tiger in the bedroom.

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted. They all gang up on you and feast on your tender flesh. 

I wish I could stop time for awhile.

[FairyGirl]

Granted- once time stops, you can't move and you're stuck for eternity with that piece of chocolate just inches from your lips...

I wish chocolate had no calories..

[V M]

Granted...But now just plain tap water is full of calories

I wish these bruises would just go away

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted. Each one of them is replaced with warts.

I wish Spring Break were longer.

[V M]

Granted...You'll be on spring break forever while everyone else gets an education and high paying jobs

Now I wish these warts would go away

[FairyGirl]

Granted. They are replaced with frogs. (This could go on forever) 

I wish water had no calories...

[V M]

Granted...But petting kittens gives you bizarre fantasies

I wish my dog was more protective of me and didn't run and hide when I get attacted

[Christo]

granted he's a chihuahua puppy  I wish I got a lot of hair on my chest. 

[Janet_Girl]

Granted.  So is your back.  And you now need a comb.  A big comb. 

I wish some guy would ask me out.

Janet

[Michelle.]

Granted, but he refuses to stop calling you.

I wish that money really grew on trees.

[Dante]

Granted, new money is introduced just as they make a tree that grows money. So it only grows the old money that no longer has any value!

I wish YouTube would stop muting videos.