New Corrupt-A-Wish

[fae_reborn]

Granted, now the cat leaves them all over your bed.

I wish that I knew how to cook.

[Michelle.]

Granted... well heres the receipe http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis

I wish, I wish, I wish that I didn't have a really bad case of "wisher's block" right now.

[kisschittybangbang]

granted but all your wishes turn out to have really perverted granted's

I wish that she knew as much as I knew

[Unconditional Acceptance]

Granted; she uses the knowledge to plot your impending demise.

I wish I knew a cure for my addiction to Spaghetti O's.

[Mr. Fox]

Granted.  The only cure is . . . death.

I wish I could do death metal vocals.

[fae_reborn]

Granted, but they're returned broken and in several pieces...bummer.

I wish I could get a new car for free...I mean, we own over half of GM, so why not?

[findingreason]

Granted, but it's a super gas guzzling SUV, so it's free price tag will be more than made up with the nasty gas bill attached.

I wish I could have a nice costume for cosplay for little money.

[fae_reborn]

Granted, I hear there's some great deals down at the local Salvation Army, but I can't guarantee you'll find what you need.

I wish I knew how to convert my new free SUV to use biofuel.

[Michelle.]

Granted... you find a new, "free", SUV that runs on diesel. You convert it to run on old cooking grease. Now when ever you get in the car and drive you cant help but pull into every fast food joint for a quick bite. Ohm, bio fuel exhaust smell like french fry.

I wish that the new GM will sell cars worth buying.

[stacyB]

Granted, but they are sooooo expensive that no one can afford them. Our tax dollars are wasted. And the day of the GTO will never be ever again... 

I wish I still had my 65 Bel Aire. That was some car... 

[Michelle.]

Granted you can have your 44, thats fourty-four, year old car back. Mich' takes a look at Stacy's profile and the wish is....

Wishes, Stacy share her memories of the first moon landing and not kill Michelle.

[stacyB]

Granted, but Michelle is forced to listen to all of Stacy's elder relatives retell the tale... for 12 1/2 hours... without a break!

I wish that my 14 year old son wouldn't refer to his mom and I as "older than dirt" 

[Michelle.]

Granted now they want to know about the number of animals that "Moses" brought on the Ark with him, and what it was like to help build the bloody boat.

I wish that a whole new wardrobe would show up in my closet.

[Constance]

I wish that a whole new wardrobe would show up in my closet.

Granted: have fun in Narnia.

I wish breast forms weren't so expensive.

[Michelle.]

Granted... my cat will be on the next flight out of PBIA.

I wish that this recession would finally end.

[fae_reborn]

Granted... you find a new, "free", SUV that runs on diesel. You convert it to run on old cooking grease. Now when ever you get in the car and drive you cant help but pull into every fast food joint for a quick bite. Ohm, bio fuel exhaust smell like french fry.

That's not so bad...I'll just get the "healthiest" thing on the menu and a bucket of cooking grease to go...FREE FUEL =]

Granted Michelle, the recession ends.  It's now a depression and everyone is unemployed.

I wish I could date this girl at work, if only!

[kisschittybangbang]

Granted, but she is nothing like you expected. In fact, She's completely psychotic and posessive... breaking up with her will put her over the edge. Have fun...

I wish that My softe pretzle was bigger...

[Constance]

I wish that My softe pretzle was bigger...

Granted: it's so big some crazy peg-legged fool harpoons it and takes it away from you.

I wish I had a cup of chocolate mousse.

[Feever]

Granted, you have a cup of Chocolate Moose crap.

I wish it wasnt raining.

[Michelle.]

granted it's now golf-ball sized hail.

I wish I started defrosting dinner a few hours ago.