So..I've got a dirty little secret..

[sd]

I knew Lance Bass was gay long before he came out, but the gay community didn't spread it outside the community... because he asked! He came out on his own doing. Sure, people knew... but the public as a whole didn't.

I think everyone pretty much knew. Hell, the public knew before George Michael knew he himself was.

[GQjoey]

Rule one of fame.  You have no personal secrets.
Rule two.  Everyone will know, sooner or later.

True.
Post Merge: May 13, 2009, 05:03:04 AM

So then why are you dangling the carrot? 

I seem to remember you like to date women and not tell them you're trans.  I hope to god someone starts outing you to every girl you meet.

Personally, I am absolutely INTRIGUED this guy has been in the music business for a couple years now, and NOBODY knows, but his band mates, and a few girls who haven't said a word. Because he grew up in same state I did, and it didn't take long for my story to get out....

which leads me to your next statement. If you read more clearly, me not being 100% honest about myself with girls I was involved with, is part of my PAST , mind you, this dates back to the age of 12, when I had no clue what TRANS meant...but good point Mister, you're the wikipedia for this community! fool. And for the lather, my past 3 relationships (4 years) they've all known, including my girl now...but good ups on wishing negatives. I've been there, done that, lived through it...and could do it all again.
That and...most the girls that I'm "outed" to out here, want it even more.........so like you said, I hope someone starts hating too!


For everyone else- I started this post, cuz I really do find it amazing a f2m has made a music career as himself, and not had to deal with society's outbursts. I'm not one to out anyone on their gender/sexual preference..maybe I shouldn't of said anything..but frankly it excited the F*** out of me. Mister you can eat nuts.

[Mister]

I don't understand what gives you this sense of entitlement.  If someone is not out, DO NOT OUT THEM.  Ever.  It's not negotiable b/c they're in the music biz and you get to name drop.  If it eventually comes out, he'll have to deal with it... but his business shouldn't be spread around, especially by trans people.

[tekla]

You live and die by coverage, and you can't dictate what it is.  Still, given that, the biz is full of minor stars, who never really get covered, and unless he makes it huge, like Tom Petty huge, no one is going to care.

In the industry, we all have secrets.  And 'what happens at the show stays at the show, what happens on tour stays on the tour' and all that.  So I don't talk about the Christian groups whose dressing rooms reeks of good pot, or the heavy metal band that's just a bunch of geeks in scary leather - I figure its all an illusion anyway.

[Jay]

I don't understand what gives you this sense of entitlement.  If someone is not out, DO NOT OUT THEM.  Ever.  It's not negotiable b/c they're in the music biz and you get to name drop.  If it eventually comes out, he'll have to deal with it... but his business shouldn't be spread around, especially by trans people.

I actually agree with Mister, I wouldn't want to be outed either.

Jay

[Mister]

You live and die by coverage, and you can't dictate what it is.  Still, given that, the biz is full of minor stars, who never really get covered, and unless he makes it huge, like Tom Petty huge, no one is going to care.

In the industry, we all have secrets.  And 'what happens at the show stays at the show, what happens on tour stays on the tour' and all that.  So I don't talk about the Christian groups whose dressing rooms reeks of good pot, or the heavy metal band that's just a bunch of geeks in scary leather - I figure its all an illusion anyway.

i completely agree with you.  hell, you and i seem to have pretty similar (if not identical) professions and i sure as hell kept my mouth shut about what i saw and heard on the road. 

this situation is different.  this isn't some random person gossiping about some random half rate artist-- this is a member of a marginalized community who seems to think it's fun to breech the confidentiality, endanger the safety and livelihood of someone in the same community he personally knows.  that's nothing but screwed up and disrespectful.

[tekla]

I can think of a lot of times when outing someone would be the work of the saints and angels.  I see PBS just killed the special about the 'secret' gay Republicans who voted against gay rights, but still indulged in private, and that sucks, in many ways.

hell, you and i seem to have pretty similar (if not identical) professions

I kinda doubt that, you would not last 10 minutes 'round these parts.  The first time you started in on telling the other guys and girls about how they could speak, what words you can use, or what's 'right' and 'wrong' you'd most likely have an accident. 

[Mister]

I kinda doubt that, you would not last 10 minutes 'round these parts.  The first time you started in on telling the other guys and girls about how they could speak, what words you can use, or what's 'right' and 'wrong' you'd most likely have an accident.

Don't.  I'm not one who believes in language policing, but I do believe in universal enforcement. 

As for this situation, I leave my medical information to my doctor and am still appalled and disgusted by folks who feel it's their right to speak on behalf of those who choose to do the same.

[tekla]

We don't believe in anything that is universal.  That's just silly.  There are people who work here for minimum wage for a few, like 4 hours a show, while we're on the clock at full rates for 14-18 per show.  By the end of night we're earning more per hour than the other people are for their shift.  They have to pay for a bag of chips (no employee discount) while we're getting fed luxury dinners and then napping.  People in the dressing rooms are doing drugs that on the street above them other people are getting arrested for.  I let some people get away with stuff that I send other people home for.  Depends on a lot of things, including how much I like you.

Welcome to reality.

There is no universal nothing. 

[Mister]

Welcome to reality.

There is no universal nothing.

I didn't mean in the world of work.   Nevermind....    just take my word for it--  i'm tame on these boards and i'm sure you don't truly let yourself go here either.

[petzjazz]

I can think of a lot of times when outing someone would be the work of the saints and angels.  I see PBS just killed the special about the 'secret' gay Republicans who voted against gay rights, but still indulged in private, and that sucks, in many ways.

Are you kidding me? The work of SAINTS? I wonder what kind of saints you pray to. 

Outing someone who does not want to be outed is NEVER a good thing. NEVER. This is why: it's none of your g*dd*mn business. By outing someone who DOES NOT WANT TO BE OUTED, you are very probably ruining his/her work life and possibly financial well-being, his/her social life, and his/her right to privacy. YOU are the indulger; YOU are indulging in whatever personal reason you have to out this person, with no thought for his/her well-being. You do NOT know what's best for someone - that's the ******* MOTTO of this board, that everyone has to make his or her choices for himself/herself. Do you want to know why gay Republicans don't disclose? Because they believe in other causes that Republicans support, and they know that gay Republicans aren't widely accepted. It's more important to them to stand up for their other beliefs than to proclaim their sexuality for the world to hear. Is this so wrong in your book? Must all other causes be booted to the street so that someone can let the entire world know who they want to have sex with - or in our cases, what's between our legs? Is this cause so urgent that it gives YOU, someone who has NO IDEA what reasons they have to not disclose, someone who has NO RIGHT to meddle in their public and personal business, the right to clearly go against their wishes and by outing them, throw them to the wolves?

Every single person here who believes that he/she has the right to out other people against their wishes sickens me. You are self-indulgent and self-righteous, and I hope that if the day ever comes when someone displays your personal information for the world to see without your consent, you're too happy to breathe.

[NicholeW.]

I've never found it a particular problem when politicians and public figures who make legislation to repress particular minority populations are "outed" against their wishes.

If John Doe wants to support Pub causes and doesn't want his sexuality revealed and doesn't do a lot of rabble-rousing against people of his sexual orientation, then yes, I agree there's no reason to "out" him.

When Bob Bauman was passing legislation that would allow gay males & lesbians to be harrassed and discriminated against without recourse then I'm all for his being "outed."

It's one thing to do no relative harm, it's another to be conducting a witch-hunt against a group you're a "hidden" member of.

The great thing about the Pubs lately is that such ordure has seen fit to be arrested for their peccadillos in public toilets. I spoz one could say they've "outed" themselves.

Nichole

[tekla]

Two words: Roy Cohen

But if you want three more, try these: Reverend Ted Haggard.

[myles]

While off the subject and trying to think of a mature way to state my views Nicole and Tekla posted, so all I have to say is I second their comments and I'll leave it at that.
Myles

[kestin]

Whilst I too, ultimately don't agree with outing someone without their permission... I think Joeys main reason for this post was because he was just so excited about the fact that an FtM is in such an 'apparently' big well-known group. Like he said in his last post.

Geeze, I'D be excited too if I found something like that out, it's just plain cool to know that... and if one day he comes out publicly, I hope that it turns out alright for him. I'd imagine, depending on their level of success, he could do great things for ftm visibility and acceptance.

PS: I agree that those gay republicans should be outed when they're doing so much damage to gay rights! >_<