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My gender in my dreams

Started by grazia, September 08, 2006, 02:20:07 AM

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grazia

Hi :)
I have a question that I feel silly but that it is important to me.
What gender are you in your dreams?
I do not always remember my dreams, but mostly I am a man. Rarely I am a woman, but when it happens when I wake I feel much less depressed.
Gived the dislike I have for the body I live into, I am used to think that in my dreams I should be mostly a woman, not a man. And this situation is for me an additional source of doubts.
Can you help me let me know your own experience?
Thanks a lot!
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Buffy

Hi Grazia...

Throughout my dreams, I have been both Male and Female.

I always appear as an elegant lady from times past and have a re-ocurring dream set in the deep South during the American civil War (very Gone with the Wind), which being English always amazes me. Perhaps I was there as Buffy O'Hara?.... mind it involves having sex over a kitchen table with a Union Captain and... ( OK Cold shower time Buffy!!!!).... :o

In another dream I appear as a Male Footballer (Soccer for our American Cousins) and score the winning goal in the Worl Cup Final...I have also been an astronaut on a deep space mission...

It is the same in films, I always identified with the lead Female characters rather than the Male lead, although I like strong, resilient and almost Masuculine (In their traits) women such as Uma Thurman (Kill Bill), Angelina Jolie (Lara Croft) etc...But then again I particularly hadthe hots for Viggo Mortenson as Aragorn in Lord of the Rings .. :icon_2gun:


We all dream subconsciously, I guess my dreams reflect what I am interested in in life and the things I enjoy. I don't think it is a reflection in any kind of what our actual gender is (or should be).

Buffy....

Who only needs a man to go with her Kitchen table (and dreams then come reality)

::) ::) ::) ::)
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Dennis

Pre-transition, I was mostly male in my dreams except when it was a vulnerability dream (have an exam haven't studied for, have to find the bathroom and can't). In those dreams I was female. Then just at the beginning of transition I was transitioning in my dreams. Now I'm just me.

Dennis
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Melissa

I don't really have a gender in my dreams.  I'm just me.  I look like whatever I happen to look like in real life at the time of the dream.  But, gender plays no factor in my dreams.  Maybe I really am genderqueer, yet want a female identity and female body.  It's hard to say.

Melissa
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BrandiOK

Mine vary from dream to dream....

Some I am male.  However in these I'm almost always shirtless for some reason and trying to cover up my breasts (even in male mode I have female breasts in this dream) so people don't look at me weird....all through the dream I'm a "normal" male other than that.  Well, other than that and I still think of myself as female even being male in the dream if that makes sense.

Some I am female.  I like these one's the best.  There is never any vestiges of my former male self in these.

Some I am kind of androgenous like Tink mentioned.....I move through the dream without any real identifying physical characteristics.

Very good question by the way....I've often wondered how other TG people saw themselves in thier dreams.

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Julie_in_MT

Hi Grazia!
I have dreamt that I was a woman as well as a man at times.
The dreams where I am female are always the best and make me feel alive when I awake from them. :)

Julie
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stephb

Like Melissa, I am mostly genderless in my dreams, but when I do dream of being in a gender it is almost always female. Years ago, when I was younger, I dreamed about 50% of the time that I was male.

Steph
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Melissa

I mean I don't recall EVER having a gender in my dreams.  Weird. :-\

Melissa
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Ellissa Ray

oddly I/ve never once had a dream that wasnt in first person. I'm just always me in my dreams, and since most of my dreams dont involve interaction with other people, I'm just me. basically, no gender, but the few times I was anything, I was male.
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nonie

I always dream I'm a man. Every once in a while when the dream turns sexual (as they seem to do a lot) i'll turn into a woman though.  like the normal dream part is always male, but then if I start to get it on, sometimes I can't stay male and it's really frustrating even though it's physically pleasurable.  Which definitely sounds like it would interest a shrink.
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Luc

I've only had a few dreams in which I could say I was definitely male or female. Otherwise, I was just me. I guess maybe that's occurred because in my life, I never really identified as female, but I was afraid to identify as male because of the social repercussions it might incur. Lately, though, I've been having many dreams as either a male or as a transman.

Rafe
"If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself, and while you're at it, stop criticizing my methods!"

Check out my blog at http://hormonaldivide.blogspot.com
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umop ap!sdn

I find lately that in my dreams I'm usually in transition, presenting as female (and passing). Essentially just me, but with a specific presentation, just like in real life - and with me too it's always in the first person. Used to be I'd dream without reference to my own gender, or be female but not realize it as such, or be hiding behind my usual phony male facade - again just like waking life. Come to think of it, these are all ways that I have perceived myself while awake!

Interesting food for thought. :)
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Melissa

So it looks like othersw are percieving themselves the sameway I am.  Just me living a transsexual life in the middle of transition.  I do remember a couple of dreams where it was like that.  Usually my dreams are first person or as a genderless observer.

Melissa
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Hazumu

#13
Interesting topic.

I'd say that before transition I was also mostly genderless.  Of the ones where I was a gender, it seems to be evenly split -- sometimes I was a boy and sometimes I was a girl.  The 'boy' dreams just had a vague, fuzzy sense of maleness, but the girl dreams were vividly anatomically correct.  One dream I remember combined the two -- I was dating a girl, and then realized it was the female me from other dreams, and my awareness flashed into the girl body and the male was no longer there.

Since transition started, I'm having a lot of transition dreams.  One I had last night had me trying to deal with a dress I was unfamiliar with, my shoe kept getting caught in the hem, and I was trying to adjust it to stop that from happening...

On a side note, I've been taking the suppliment DMAE for several years now.  One of the things it does is promote strong dreams, and lucid dreaming (where you're consciously aware you're dreaming and can even guide and control the dream,) becomes more common.  I suggest the wikipedia article for starters...

Karen
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umop ap!sdn

I forgot to add that sometimes while waking up, I'll find that I feel genderless, then all of a sudden something kicks in and the feeling of femaleness is in full force. Odd. I suspect that during most of my dreams my gender identity is asleep.

Quote from: Karen on September 09, 2006, 12:04:48 PMI was dating a girl, and then realized it was the female me from other dreams, and my awareness flashed into the girl body and the male was no longer there.
Very interesting! I don't think I've ever had third person dreams, so it's hard to imagine what that kind of shift would be like. :D
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fusi

i have been both in my dreams, though mostly male i think, but usually my dreams focus on something else entirely and i often never see or feel myself o_O (third person movie camera stylie!)
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sheila18

first thing I am aware of is my high heels and nail polish in my toenails and then the dress and the breasts

.. lucid dreaming
sheila18
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cindybc

Hi all, there was another more recent thread on dreams, but I wasn't able to find it.

This was a two part dream on two different nights that I thought you might be interested in.

It began two nights ago, I was invited to a ballet at this ancient medieval castle. Nicely groomed courtyard complete with bushes containing blooms of many different types and colors. There was a thick forest all around. The only other building I could see was what appeared to be an old disused mill of sorts, built of stones and mortar. I was wearing a long gown, the style of the medieval days, and I was being escorted by this lovely prince charming-type gentleman.

We entered the main ballroom and all about there milled every type of person you would expect for the day, mainly merchants, entertainers, princes and princesses and other gentleman along with their lady escorts. All were making their way toward the dining area.

The dining area consisted of several large tables with ornate wooden chairs. At both ends of the table sat two huge golden candlelabra containing large, burning wax candles. Servants were abuzz going back and forth setting up the china and silverware while others ushered in the aromatic platters of steaming food to be set on the tables.

My escort pulled a chair back for me to sit. I sat, then he nodded politely and pulled a chair back next to me to sit, then he sat.  A clanging sound rang out and the crowd that now sat at the table fell quiet while the bell-ringer set the bell on the table, then sat.

An elderly gentleman got up and made a speech about one of the ladies and her escort who sat across the table from me. When the elder gentleman sat, the lady got up and recited a short speech, then she sat down. She was the princess of some neighboring kingdom and was to be wedded to the gentleman sitting beside her at some time later in the evening.

No sooner had supper begun than a disturbance broke out at another table behind me. I heard two men shouting at each other, then musket fire, after which all hell broke loose and the whole place was bedlam.

My escort took my hand and told me to follow, and to not dawdle, for it could cost us our lives. We ran across the terrrace and the courtyard. Still holding my hand my escort pointed to the old mill I had spotted upon arrival. By then I could hear many voices behind us, women screaming, swords clattering, and men bellowing out in pain. I did not dare stop to look back. I gathered my skirts about me  and kept running toward the vacant mill.

Once in the mill my escort stopped abruptly, still holding onto my hand.  I nearly lost my balance with the sudden stop. He was desperately looking around the jumbled room we stood in. He spotted a set of stone stairs among the shambles across the room and resumed moving forward, stepping around the rubble left from years of disuse.  We began climbing the stairs two at a time where possible then stopping momentarily to move some debris that had fallen across the stairs through the years, then continuing to climb until we were on the second level. We momentarily stopped to listen. Below us we could hear the muffled sound of many voices.

My escort again looked wildly around the room then darted forward again toward another set of stone stairs to the third level.  We went up and then up once more on another set of stairs to the roof of the ancient mill.

He walked over to the edge of the roof where he looked down. When I looked down I felt like my heart had skipped a beat and my face must have blanched in fear. Then he ordered me to take off all the clothes I could as he proceeded to take his own clothes off. He stopped momentarily in mid-stride of taking his trousers off and said, "Just take the gown off. I need it to make some type of rope to climb down. I beleive once we get down to the forest below we will be safe. The king's men will not enter the Black Forest." 

Tying the make shift rope to one of the parapets on the roof of the ancient mill he let it fall towards the forest floor. It came about 15 feet short of the ground. "With some luck we may make the jump the rest of the way without breaking anything," he informed me. I remember thinking, "How did I ever get into this? How did I get here to begin with?"

So we beagn to climb down the rope and everything was fine until about half-way down. I heard what I thought was a ripping sound then a snapping and I am finding myself free-falling towards the forest floor! I closed my eyes and spread my arms out then I felt the wind against my face and my hair fluttering behind me.

When I opened my eyes I saw the long sleeves of my silk undershirt fluttering behind my arms. They had the appearance of white wings. I looked below and I saw the tops of the trees of the Black Forest moving below me like I was flying.  "I am flying!" I thought to myself aloud.

I came to the edge of a cliff then I began to lose altitude but gradually and slowly descended until I landed on top of a tree that had fallen against the cliff. It lay at about a forty-five degree angle. I remember the rough bark under me after I landed. I sat upon the tree trunk then shinnied down the rest of the way to the ground. I could hear a river not far away.

I walked toward the sound and came out to a clearing. There was a wide gravelly shoreline on both sides of the blue river that rippled and gurgled its way around some stones and waterlogged sunken logs and other debris. The sky was a deep blue and dotted with a few white clouds and all was silent outside of a few birds and the gurgling of the river and the whispering of the breeze at the top of the giant trees that lined both sides to the river banks. 

I stood knee deep in the cool clean river water with the breeze fluttering the long sleeves of my undershirt as I raised my arms then closed my eyes once more as though in preparation to take flight once more. 

Cindy
End of part One         
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Northern Jane

Mostly female, but some genderless.

The only dreams I had where I was male were shortly after transition/SRS but those were more like "night terrors" where I dreamed that it had all been a dream and I was actually male! Fortunately those only happened a couple of times. More common (in the early days) was being female and railing against intrusions of maleness in women's world.
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cindybc

Most of my dreams were also as though I was disembodied, like I was there in spirit and not in the physical, those kind of dreams are surreal and one knows they are dreaming. The one above was more like reality, I believe those are visions.

Like I could feel and hear the wind going past my ears and could hear an feel my hair flutering behind me. I could smell the fragrance of the forest bellow and the roughness of the bark from that tree against my nearly naked body when I landed on it.

Dreaming my having long hair is common to me, since I have always have had long hair since my early teens, long like you see in my avatar. But to actually dream as myself being a woman as vividly as in that vision as you say didn't really start until after SRS.

I had some short dreams of being a girl before on and off through the past years, but I think that was more from longing to be a girl more then anything else, but so agonizingly few. but these visions have only began in the past few years. I have another episode to follow the one above I will put together later today. Actually the second one is of a time, some years before the first one.  Anyone here interpret dreams? I think it would be interesting to have a few ideas.  :D

Cindy
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