What do you do when...?

[Kara]

What do you do when you feel so much animosity and frustration towards your family that you feel like coming out to them would be a wasted effort, that you are better off doing it alone and never telling them and never seeing them again once you finish transitioning?

I've been thinking about it a lot this month and the only conclusion I can come to is that disappointment and resentment will come out of being honest with them. Nor does there appear to be any practical benefit from letting them know I am still alive. I feel better when I'm by myself (ie, away from them) and when I'm around them, all I ever feel is this growing anger at their inability to moderate their own behavior.

Has anyone been in this situation before? What do you do when your family isn't really a family?

[K8]

I'm not in your situation, but I think you shouldn't let your family hold you back from doing what you need to do.  If at some point you decide to come out to them, fine.  But if you think you are better off without contact with them then just do that.

We have no choice as to which family we are born into, just as we have no choice as to which body we are born into.  If in your best judgement associating with your family will not help you in any way, just get on with your life.  Often our family of choice is much better for us than is our family of chance.

*hugs*
Kate

[V M]

I can relate to that to some degree. I love my family, but they often do bug me out. I just do my best to be nice and not let them grate on my nerves too much 

[Kara]

I've been using my blog as a way to vent my frustration and clear the air with myself...I guess the best way to put it is that dealing with my family causes me nothing but hardship and misery in the long term. If I could figure out a way to live without even remembering they exist, I would.

For the present, though, I'm trying to figure out a way to attend those necessary social and holiday functions without losing control.

[Jeatyn]

My family is the true meaning of dysfunction but I was VERY pleasantly surprised when I came out. Nobody has given me any hassle (well there's been banter but nothing in a serious way) and I was so worried they were all gonna be awful about it because they are with everything else.

I regret not coming out to my mother before she died, now I'll never know what her reaction would have been.

You never know until you try.