Either way, I need to get my "ex" to finally divorce me before I can do much of anything!
that seems a pretty unfortunate arrangement for a state open enough to be dealing with gay marriage.
Getting married is - often - way too easy. Getting divorced is much more complicated. As signing the contract (which is what marriage is) is very easy, getting out of one (which is what divorce is) is very hard.
But, as guys say, "You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they are worth it."