Regrets of SRS?

[tinkerbell]

What gets me is people who blame the doctors and professionals for it. Talk about not taking responsibility for your own decisions. If you're not sure, don't do it. Simple as that. If you did it, take responsibility for your own bad decision.
Dennis

That gets me too!   and  I agree with what your wrote 100%.  You nailed it, Dennis!


tinkerbell

[sheila18]

tinker:
gracias por tu coraje! well done

cindianna, elizabeth, karen, sheila, steph, veronica, dennis:
  for myself only,  i found  100% agreement and total respect for your experience and advice, all of you.
  This is the real reason why i joinned Susan's, i do not need frothy and frosty strokes to my ego. Am 51 and have no regrets yet i would be a fool not to study and consider this aspect

In my life i have been encouraged to SRS because is a way to show who i really am, for the gay cause, to liberate myself, to really be OUT, 2b true 2 my self blah blah
most of the TS people (the ones i talk in person here in my city ok) i talk live in denial that society will be understanding and accepting "because that is the right way for society to be"
i know where I'll be when i finally do
is wonderful to be part of a community that is real

please do not take it personally if i did not mention your name,  i was stroked by the 100% agreement with those above
thanks for being there or is it here?  whatever, thanks
sheila18

[Andrew]

I haven't yet heard of a single case of FtM regret. I wonder why.

I think part of the problem for those few MTFs who regret it is that they don't pass, and therefore aren't comfortable with their bodies. FTMs overwhelmingly pass--if I tried to wear a dress, I'd look like a crossdresser and people would stare at me. I don't think that's all of the problem for the regretters; some of them seem to have deep psychological problems that should have been taken care of before they took this drastic step.

Dramatic?  I don't know.  what came to my mind when I saw this video was "Psycho!"

Yes, and these people make transsexuals of sound mind look bad. This is precisely the reason I hate daytime talk shows!

[Malana]

and why are there no instances of FtM regret??  *giggling*....could it be that men have such a difficult time admitiing when they are wrong??

This one was just too easy!!

*winks*  Malana

[Kate]

This is a letter my therapist once gave to me which kind of opened my eyes. I don't know the original source:

Transitioning: A Transsexual's Reflections

No other group is so punished for seeking medical treatment. 

The diagnosis in the medical manual, DSM IV, is 302.85: Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID).  The indicated treatment is to transition to the appropriate sex. And I believe that the empirical evidence, as well as a whole lot of anecdotal evidence known to me personally, supports the conclusion that the treatment works. Transition will eradicate GID.  Case closed.

At the same time, transitioning will change your life profoundly. Some of these changes may clearly be for the better.  Some may clearly be for the worse.  And some may be difficult to classify.

But there are many medical treatments which have "side effects."The risks must be considered and measured against the benefit of the treatment. I believe that the enticement for getting out of the prison of GID is so powerful that no risk seems too great.

I've never regretted transitioning for a moment, and that's because I have never forgotten the pain of GID. I am aware that there are transwomen who rail in frustration against the seemingly impossible odds we face in certain areas of life.  I am among them.   

For example, it's a long shot for any middle-aged or older woman to enter into a long-term romantic relationship, and most of them don't have the "nuclear bomb" to drop that I do. I have, therefore, concluded that it is virtually impossible for me to find a new romantic partner.

Am I upset about this?  Yes.  Does it make me angry, frustrated, and resentful?  Yes.  As bad as my prospects were before I transitioned, are they worse now?  Probably.

Do I regret transitioning?  No, because I remember the pain.

I suspect that those who claim to regret transitioning have forgotten the pain. Face it:  GID will not simply go away. It has to be accepted and handled somehow, so that the basic quality of one's life is enhanced.

I myself simply cannot tolerate living while at the same time not really living.

So transitioning is fundamentally worth it for me.

I'll handle the rest somehow.

[tinkerbell]

Wonderful words...

I've never regretted transitioning for a moment, and that's because I have never forgotten the pain of GID

A very powerful statement indeed.  Anything can be bearable, except GID, for it is like a fire that burns you alive bit by bit until you are completely consumed to nothing.

tinkerbell

[Melissa]

Yes, those are very wise words.  I have never forgotten the pain and I have recorded the pain in my diary if I ever am to forget.  I do not regret it for a moment either.  Thanks for sharing that Kate.  I think everybody should record what the pain is like, just so they have something to remind them why they transitioned.

Melissa

[ssindysmith]

I had read that before, as a test I stopped everything, I could not stand myself so back on the HRT and my path is clear. My only concern now is my family.

[Kate]

I had read that before, as a test I stopped everything, I could not stand myself so back on the HRT and my path is clear. My only concern now is my family.

For how long did you manage to stop? How did you feel when you did?

[ssindysmith]

I had read that before, as a test I stopped everything, I could not stand myself so back on the HRT and my path is clear. My only concern now is my family.

For how long did you manage to stop? How did you feel when you did?

Almost 6 months, I was miserable it took about 3 weeks to get back to myself some what its been well over a year with no regrets.

[Melissa]

I don't need to stop to know that I would be miserable.  Just the thought alone scares me. 

Melissa

[ssindysmith]

Just trying to follow some good advice, all it got me was 6 months of hell.

[Melissa]

Just trying to follow some good advice, all it got me was 6 months of hell.

I wasn't saying you did anything wrong and I commend those who are able to go through "the trial".  In fact, I always thought the fact that I couldn't do the trial, may have been foolish of me.  All I know is that I'm much happier than I was and I can look at what it was like before HRT.  That's astounding that you lasted 6 months.  I've heard of people having trouble with as short of a period as 3 weeks.

Melissa

[Kate]

I don't need to stop to know that I would be miserable.  Just the thought alone scares me. 

Coincidentally, I was reading an article earlier this morning on the Melanie Phillips site regarding hormones. The writer suggested that it's a good idea to take a one-month break a few months into HRT to be sure it isn't just an initial "hormone high" that's providing the feelings of peace and well-being.

In any case, it perhaps seems a prudent way to compare and contrast the two mindsets before continuing for good? I often think that one's reaction to *stopping* may prove more educational then when starting.

[Melissa]

Well, I did experience the initial "hormone high" and that has definitely worn off.  Now I just feel calm and peaceful.  The idea of being irritable, crabby, losing breast tissue, and having the anger inside me again just scares me silly.  I honestly don't think I could survive it.  I absolutely abhorred it.  Oh god, and the erections!!!  Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares.

Melissa

[ssindysmith]

Well, I did experience the initial "hormone high" and that has definitely worn off.  Now I just feel calm and peaceful.  The idea of being irritable, crabby, losing breast tissue, and having the anger inside me again just scares me silly.  I honestly don't think I could survive it.  I absolutely abhorred it.  Oh god, and the erections!!!  Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares.

Melissa

Ditto

[LynnER]

I ended up going off for 6 months, it wasnt a test, there was allot more than I'll probably ever say or admit to about that period... yeah Ive said it all before so I'll keep it short.  It was total hell, I dont recomend it, the moment you realize you were doing the right thing, jump back on and dont look back, and dont wait...

*Hugs ssindysmith*
        That had to be horrable,  you didnt go suicidal or anything like I did I hope?

[ssindysmith]

I must be in the extreme minority, or I have just never been that far down because of my carisma, but suicidal thoughts have NEVER entered my mind no matter what has happen to me, I guess I am have a positive fighting spirit.

[cindianna_jones]

I must be in the extreme minority, or I have just never been that far down because of my carisma, but suicidal thoughts have NEVER entered my mind no matter what has happen to me, I guess I am have a positive fighting spirit.

Yes, it must be a fighting spirit.... either that, or legs that go clear up to there with no torso or head. 

Cheers

Chin up!

Cindi

[ssindysmith]

I must be in the extreme minority, or I have just never been that far down because of my carisma, but suicidal thoughts have NEVER entered my mind no matter what has happen to me, I guess I am have a positive fighting spirit.

Yes, it must be a fighting spirit.... either that, or legs that go clear up to there with no torso or head. 

Cheers

Chin up!

Cindi

I am blonde at the roots.......... HUH?