Hey! I'm new, and extremely afraid of the people on this site!

[Patrick]

Hello! My name is Pamela, but I'd like to go by Patrick. I am a young FtM. I live in New York City, and am going through my idea of a transition that is suitable for my age, and situations in school, because that's where I am 80% of the school year. This entails going by Patrick at school and when meeting other people, getting my hair cut, wearing only men's/boy's clothes, and all of that good stuff.

And it's true, I am completely and utterly scared of all of the members of this site. Why? Because all of you seem like such a family. I've been lurking around for a couple of hours, and I just find it amazing that you're all so close knit. I hope to be a part of that sometime soon!

Hmm. What else? I am mostly out at my school, which means that while people may acknowledge that I'm trans, they won't use the correct pronouns or the correct name. At home, my mother knows, but isn't completely understanding or accepting. My father seems to be more accepting, though I wouldn't really know because I'm too scared to discuss my gender identity with him. My brother knows as well, but we don't talk about it.

By sharing this, I believe that it takes me one small step closer to getting support from other people in the GLBT community. Thanks SO much for reading this. It means a whole lot to me. (And, I apologize for any typos that may be in my post.)

[tekla]

Like all real families, we're a little bit dysfunctional.  Except those of us from California, we're not from a dysfunctional family, we're products of a dysfunctional state.

[perfectisolation]

Welcome, Patrick. You gotta be one of the youngest guys I've seen here. Hopefully everyone will come around about your identity. How long have you been 'out'?

[Hannah]

Hi there Patrick, most of us don't bite so don't be scared! The pronoun thing is hurtful, isn't it  Kudoes to you for such a level of self awareness at such a young age. May I ask if you've seen a gender therapist?

[Patrick]

Welcome, Patrick. You gotta be one of the youngest guys I've seen here. Hopefully everyone will come around about your identity. How long have you been 'out'?

Ah, it's been about a year and a half now. The people in my school haven't been particularly... "exposed" to trans or even gay people. I am THE first openly gay, openly trans kid in the history of my school.

Except those of us from California, we're not from a dysfunctional family, we're products of a dysfunctional state.

Well, it's not exactly a misfortune to live in California if you are able to get past their decisions and law making, although I wouldn't be a able to.
Post Merge: July 15, 2009, 11:08:30 PM

Hi there Patrick, most of us don't bite so don't be scared! The pronoun thing is hurtful, isn't it  Kudoes to you for such a level of self awareness at such a young age. May I ask if you've seen a gender therapist?

Thank you! =D

I have been to both a regular therapist and a gender therapist and went New York Presbyterian and was "partially diagnosed" with GID. They couldn't really say because I have a non-stereotypical FtM childhood.

[bernii]

Oh Patrick,

Come here my darling.... {{{ HUGS }}}. Dearest, you have nothing to fear now hon. Youare now very safe!! We are all here to support one another and to help one another, and most of all... protect one another!!! Patrick, please know that you are welcome at Susan's. Do not be afraid Patrick, you will not be harmed in any way!!!

HUGS and Love

Brenda

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Patrick,

Welcome to our little family. Over 2700 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother.

And be sure to check out

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks
  

Janet

[Hannah]

Watch out for those regular therapists. Some of them have a hard time saying "I don't know" and start just pulling crap out of their ears based on their own biases and not on science. I've seen a few horror stories on these boards about such things, and it's just appalling to me when the helping professions do such harm.

It sounds like you haven't really been exposed to much of the lgbt community. I can't speak for the lgb part of it, but as far as the t goes, please feel free to talk to us. We aren't just being polite, we really do want want to hear it. While all our experiences might be somewhat similar, they are each unique as well, and we take strength from each other. It feels good to know you aren't alone...and you my dear, are most certainly not alone.

[Patrick]

Watch out for those regular therapists. Some of them have a hard time saying "I don't know" and start just pulling crap out of their ears based on their own biases and not on science. I've seen a few horror stories on these boards about such things, and it's just appalling to me when the helping professions do such harm.

You mentioned that you haven't really been exposed to much of the lgbt community. I can't speak for the lgb part of it, but as far as the t goes, please feel free to talk to us. We aren't just being polite, we really do want want to hear it. While all our experiences might be somewhat similar, they are each unique as well, and we take strength from each other. It feels good to know you aren't alone...and you my dear, are most certainly not alone.

Actually, what's really great is that my therapist is FtM too! He knows exactly where I'm coming from. My last therapist was like that, though. She just formulated her questions by using textbooks and criticism.

I'm so glad to hear that. That kind of support is what I've looking for for the past couple years. I feel so loved! Although, I'm concerned that I'll become one of those people that talks about everything, everywhere.

[NicholeW.]

Welcome, Patrick.

Family, ummm, maybe. Or maybe just the long-term involvement in reading each other again and again.

As far as therapists are concerned. Just like medical doctors quality, experience, openness to clients and whether one is looking to make a diagnosis or is patiently willing to just hear the client out (diagnosis within the first 3-4 sessions is required for insurance reimbursement, but "adjustment disorder, nos" can get that done pretty easily and it's a rather non-labeled kinda diagnosis that simply means the client is struggling to cope with something) will vary widely.

Just keep posting and soon you'll be a regular and everyone will know your name.

O, the role of bratty kid has already been locked up a few times, but you really don't seem to be in the running for that. 

Nice to have you posting.

[V M]

Welcome and have no fear Patrick,

Virginia only bites on Thurs.  But seriously, there are many supportive guys and gals that will help you along your journey

[Ender]

Hey Patrick, welcome to the site.
 

Although, I'm concerned that I'll become one of those people that talks about everything, everywhere.

Don't worry about talking too much, posting is what keeps this place alive. 

And I don't bite either (at least, not through a computer screen).   

[Teknoir]

Welcome.

As others have already said, we don't bite. Much A few nibbles here and there, but that's just the internet for ya  .

You've got guts to be openly out at school at such a young age. Kudos! Too many young people buy into the whole "hive mind" mentality.

The trouble with coming out to family at such a young age is that a lot of the time they hang onto the notion that it's just a passing phase. There's not much you can do (that I can think of) about it other than just keep being yourself.

Hopefully they'll come around eventually. You know, you could always just stop responding to your birth name  It's a bit petty I know, but it's something to keep in mind for a last resort (after you've sat people down and told them in no uncertain terms how you'd like to be addressed, of course).

[TamTam]

I was born in New York Presbyterian!    Currently reside in north NJ.  Good to have a local here.  Welcome!  Feel free to talk talk talk talk talk, it's what I do.

[Kayden]

Hopefully you already feel welcome.  I know I didn't post for months... then I started posting (with much hesitation) and now it's great.   This place is immensely helpful.

People said you were the youngest member they've seen, but I think the age got edited out so I'll just have to wonder!

[Hannah]

You know, you could always just stop responding to your birth name

I know this works with dogs. I started calling my dog "fatty" instead of her given name, and now she answers to it. Maybe it will work in reverse on humans.

[Teknoir]

I know this works with dogs. I started calling my dog "fatty" instead of her given name, and now she answers to it. Maybe it will work in reverse on humans.

I suddenly feel the need to start carrying around bags of candy and a bell....   

[V M]

My dog tends to answer to "Silly" rather than his name 

[BrianaLynne]

Patrick,
I'm new too and i think they like you alot more because I havn't gotten any replies to my "Hey I'm Briana" post. lol And I came out in 8th grade & I'm telling you it's really hard but when crap hits the fan there will always be SOMEONE you can turn to.
xoxo




modified to exchange a more accepted word for one that violates the TOS --- Nichole

[V M]

Patrick,
I'm new too and i think they like you alot more because I havn't gotten any replies to my "Hey I'm Briana" post. lol And I came out in 8th grade & I'm telling you it's really hard but when crap hits the fan there will always be SOMEONE you can turn to.
xoxo

Hi Briana, sorry if your post was overlooked. that doesn't happen too often, but it does happen. Mainly do to timing. Where did you post it?




Modified quoted material to conform with moderation above --- Nichole