Hey! I'm new, and extremely afraid of the people on this site!

[Amy85]

Hey there's nothing wrong with being a lurker 

[Cindy]

Hi Patrick fro me as well.

Sorry Briana I'll go back and find you to say hello from down under.

I can't even spell dysfunctional, I can't spel

Cindy

[miniangel]

I have been to both a regular therapist and a gender therapist and went New York Presbyterian and was "partially diagnosed" with GID. They couldn't really say because I have a non-stereotypical FtM childhood.

There's a stereotypical FTM childhood?  Why do my hackles rise when "experts" say something like that?

And welcome from me too, Patrick. You've come to the right place. 

[NicholeW.]

There's a stereotypical FTM childhood?  Why do my hackles rise when "experts" say something like that?

Yeah, I was puzzled a bit by that as well. Is that where you don't play football and beat the GB (genetic boys) at it?

[Lachlann]

There's a stereotypical FTM childhood?  Why do my hackles rise when "experts" say something like that?

And welcome from me too, Patrick. You've come to the right place. 

Stereotypes exist everywhere, so yes there would be one.

[Lori]

And it's true, I am completely and utterly scared of all of the members of this site. Why? Because all of you seem like such a family. I've been lurking around for a couple of hours, and I just find it amazing that you're all so close knit. I hope to be a part of that sometime soon!

I'm scared too. Really, I am.

[GamerJames]

Hi Patrick, nice to meet you and welcome! I've only been here for a few days, so I understand your trepidation in breaking into an already tightly-knit group, but I can assure you that these guys are all really awesome and friendly (as you've no doubt seen from the welcomes in this post).

Not only has everyone here been great about answering my questions and even just letting me vent, but this place is a great resource for reading about everyone's transition, seeing the challenges and successes they've had, and relating to the experience through the eyes of those who have already been where I am now.

On top of all of that, this is overall just a great bunch of interesting, funny, and sincere dudes who are fun to "hang out with" in this way.

[Patrick]

Wow! There's a lot of posts now! Thank you SO much for all of your feedback, welcomes and everything else in between. It's very much appreciated.


Yes, to most doctors, the stereotypical FtM childhood is insisting you are a boy at a very young age, only liking stereotypical boy play things, choosing a male name when you're very young, playing sports, being active... and blah blah blah.

In my defense, I was like that only half of the time. I also liked to read and write and draw, play music and dance; which are all stereotypically girl's things. I did make the playing with dolls situation two sided because I would play with barbie dolls, but only the ken dolls. They didn't think it was clear enough, an henceforth they said I may even be gender queer or gender fluid. (As a trial, they said I should try living as a butch lesbian, or that I should just try living as a girl. Idiots. Do they THINK I haven't tried that? I first came out as butch lesbian to test the waters in school... Didn't go so well.)

I've tried not responding to my given name, but it's so hard! I've been trained to do that my entire life. D=

And yeh, my age did get edited out for my safety. I am apparently one of the youngest!

[tekla]

the stereotypical FtM childhood is insisting you are a boy at a very young age, only liking stereotypical boy play things

I don't know, seems like a lot of people come to this later in life, while others seemed to always know.  And if you're around here long enough (and in real life too) you'll find most of the stereotypes are just that.  People come in all kinds of ways, just because you like mechanics and are are girl you're not necessarily FtM or Butch, perhaps you're just mechanically gifted.

[jet3]

Welcome man! hope we can all help you a little bit

the stereotypical FtM childhood is insisting you are a boy at a very young age, only liking stereotypical boy play things

I don't know, seems like a lot of people come to this later in life, while others seemed to always know.  And if you're around here long enough (and in real life too) you'll find most of the stereotypes are just that.  People come in all kinds of ways, just because you like mechanics and are are girl you're not necessarily FtM or Butch, perhaps you're just mechanically gifted.

Tekla, I liked the way you put that. It is very true. Stereotypes and lables are crazy 

[tekla]

on the odd occasion, contrary to all logic, it does turn out that I'm right.

[Kayden]

Yes, to most doctors, the stereotypical FtM childhood is insisting you are a boy at a very young age, only liking stereotypical boy play things, choosing a male name when you're very young, playing sports, being active... and blah blah blah.

In my defense, I was like that only half of the time. I also liked to read and write and draw, play music and dance; which are all stereotypically girl's things. I did make the playing with dolls situation two sided because I would play with barbie dolls, but only the ken dolls. They didn't think it was clear enough, an henceforth they said I may even be gender queer or gender fluid. (As a trial, they said I should try living as a butch lesbian, or that I should just try living as a girl. Idiots. Do they THINK I haven't tried that? I first came out as butch lesbian to test the waters in school... Didn't go so well.)

I've tried not responding to my given name, but it's so hard! I've been trained to do that my entire life. D=

And yeh, my age did get edited out for my safety. I am apparently one of the youngest!

I did mostly boy things... but I totally took dance (but wanted the boy's uniform) and played with Barbie's until I was in the SIXTH grade.  So yeah.  Typical smypical.  Now I've got no boobs and testosterone in my veins.  However, you could be gender fluid or something if you're open to that.  If you're a boy, though, then go for it when you can.  I used to "cross dress" (which is ironically not cross dressing anymore) and try to be perceived as a boy and I didn't catch on for 8 more years!  So you're very well enlightened that you've gotten as far as you have.

You say your therapist is an FtM? Is he the one that is caught up in this "typical FtM childhood" crap?  Because everyone responds to pressure from their parents, circumstances, and religion differently when they are growing up.  It explained a lot of what I did, even though I totally thought it would've been fine to have been born a boy (which I stopped saying to people in the 3rd grade when I realized people didn't agree and thought it was weird.  I definitely didn't have a boy's name picked out when I was little...

Sorry if I'm a little hyped up on post-op painkillers.

Are you in a position to consider hormone blockers?  I suppose if I can't ask that a moderator will kindly take it down.

[Vancha]

Welcome to Susan's.

As a side-note, I am still uncomfortable with posting much here.
Be it as it may, I am more on the outskirts and really not tight-knit, unfortunately.

But I'm sure you will do just fine.  There is a wealth of information here, as well as advice.

[Teknoir]

There's a difference between tight-knit and exclusionist. We don't have hardcore elitism or exclusionism here.

Something I learnt is that you cannot judge your own inclusion in an online community. You can think you're on the outskirts and other people will think you're one of the regulars. As everyone comes and goes as they please without invitation or real time greeting, there is no viable metric on which to weigh social inclusion (whereas in real life you can tell when you're not part of the social group).

So chillax. I don't think you guys have anything to worry about .

[Genevieve Swann]

Glad to meet you Patrick. This maybe the most safe place on the net. Post a pic soon. I like cute boys. P.S. The sky is not falling. It's bird poop and you can't out run it. El cielo esta cayendo?

[Patrick]

However, you could be gender fluid or something if you're open to that.  If you're a boy, though, then go for it when you can.

Hmm. Well, I firmly believe that I am a boy, because I could never see myself in the role of a mother, for example, and I also just can't associate myself with females. I definitely thought about this possibility, though.

You say your therapist is an FtM? Is he the one that is caught up in this "typical FtM childhood" crap?  Because everyone responds to pressure from their parents, circumstances, and religion differently when they are growing up.  It explained a lot of what I did, even though I totally thought it would've been fine to have been born a boy (which I stopped saying to people in the 3rd grade when I realized people didn't agree and thought it was weird.  I definitely didn't have a boy's name picked out when I was little...

Sorry if I'm a little hyped up on post-op painkillers.

Are you in a position to consider hormone blockers?  I suppose if I can't ask that a moderator will kindly take it down.

Nah, he's genuine. He doesn't really push me into believing anything, because he didn't come from a completely typical FtM background.

I also didn't have a name picked out, and I never ever told anyone about what I thought. Hey, no one else was saying it, so why should I, right?! (If I had mentioned something, my life would probably be different right now... D=)

Hormone blockers? Wouldn't work. I've asked about getting whatever I could, whether it was T or hormone blockers. I started puberty when I was 9, so it's too late for blockers, but I'm too young for T.

There is a wealth of information here, as well as advice.

I've noticed! It's so great here. I can find so much stuff that I can relate to. I'm so glad I joined!

There's a difference between tight-knit and exclusionist. We don't have hardcore elitism or exclusionism here.

Something I learnt is that you cannot judge your own inclusion in an online community. You can think you're on the outskirts and other people will think you're one of the regulars. As everyone comes and goes as they please without invitation or real time greeting, there is no viable metric on which to weigh social inclusion (whereas in real life you can tell when you're not part of the social group).

So chillax. I don't think you guys have anything to worry about .

Yeah, I'm usually bad at measuring where I stand in online communities. I'm trying to not even think about my inclusion at Susan's. I mean, I'm at least glad that I'm able to contribute a little. 

Glad to meet you Patrick. This maybe the most safe place on the net. Post a pic soon. I like cute boys. P.S. The sky is not falling. It's bird poop and you can't out run it. El cielo esta cayendo?

Ah, pictures. I won't let myself be captured in photos anymore! They're like small boxes of doom. In addition, I'm not photogenic at all.

Haha, I only say that because I like how that phrase sounds in Spanish. I'm starting to learn the language, so coming up with random phrases helps it along.

--
You guys are so nice! Thanks for all the welcoming posts!

[Audrey]

lol be afraid be VERY afraid, MUAHAHAH.  Just jking welcome to susans

[Silver]

Hey, cool, welcome to the site. It's okay, you can hang around on the outskirts. The members are already acting pretty nice with me, and I'm new too. You won't be negatively judged. I bet it's against the ToS.

SilverFang

[Kara]

The counselor I met with last month a few times told me that people who just happen to live in the same area make connections of convenience. People who have the same interests make connections that are stronger and therefore draw them closer together. Couple that together with the fact that you can have a PMS day here (whether you have a vagina or not) and everyone will support you through your troubles just makes this a really good place.

I'm starting to wonder though....should we have chapters throughout the nation? Or some type of yearly meeting? Something like that?

[Ender]

Yes, to most doctors, the stereotypical FtM childhood is insisting you are a boy at a very young age, only liking stereotypical boy play things, choosing a male name when you're very young, playing sports, being active... and blah blah blah.

In my defense, I was like that only half of the time. I also liked to read and write and draw, play music and dance; which are all stereotypically girl's things.

Bah, stereotypes.  Not all boys play to stereotypes, either--think of all the male artists, authors, dancers, and musicians both past and present.  I held to some stereotypical boy interests when I was younger (I liked to build, figure out how stuff works, dig in the dirt, play with toy cars, etc, etc), but I also did plenty of those 'stereotypically girly' things you mentioned: in particular, reading and drawing.  So much so that my mother eventually had to give up a walk-in closet to hold all of my books (she even stenciled 'Library' on the door).  The closet--and under the bed, and the desk, and the dressers--in my old room is filled with sketch books, supplies, and finished projects (and my current apartment is headed the same way...).  Sports?  I was never much for team sports. 

The stereotype thing just doesn't hold muster, as far as I am concerned; what you know yourself to be does.