the freak

[Blaire]

this morning i oke up and started to get ready to go to church, like i do every Sunday. However this day as i stood in front of the mirror i noticed how much of a freak i am. so i started to cry. i realize we all have to go thru this stage of our "development" but i'm so tired of being the "FREAK" at the top of the stairs. do any of you ever feel this way.

[lisagurl]

No I am a special individual, part of the reason that I do not go to church.

[Blaire]

ths actually had nothing to do with church, i go to a accepting church. it had to do with the way i look.

like a man with tits or a woman with a penis!!!!

[Nero]

ths actually had nothing to do with church, i go to a accepting church. it had to do with the way i look.

like a man with tits or a woman with a penis!!!!

Hmm. Freak is relative. I'm a man with a bush and I don't feel freaky. Not in that sense anyway. 

[Blaire]

so nero you had your top surgery!
that's what brought this on i think, it seems like an impossible dream ,right now, for me to get my GRS.

[Nero]

yep and I'm happier than I dreamed possible.
yeah, dysphoria inducing parts can disgust. I hated my mirror before surgery.

[Blaire]

well brother please accept a big hug from sister. congratulations. stay in touch ok i love transmen 

[Nero]

aww (big nero hug)

[Blaire]

thanks brother that helps me feel better

[Tristan]

freak. yeah i feel that way alot of times. i spend some time in front of the mirror everyday  scrutinizing myself about every little thing feeling ugly. but alot of times  you can get over it and go about your day

[Mister]

Before I had my bottom surgery, I used to refer to myself as The Cockless Man like I was some sort of sideshow act.  Initially I was kidding, but I began to internalize it.  The more you call yourself a freak, the more you'll truly believe you are one.

[Paulina]

I think I am God's gift to Earth... so not really.

I feel obese and ugly, but never a freak.

[Cindy]

Hi Hon
I agree with Mister.
It's easy to phase out and say I'm the gal with a dick or a dude with bush. I'm so ugly, so not there. Look at the positives, every second we need to look at the positives. Hang in there Hun.

I'm told the road gets easier, hasn't so far Sis. But one day !!!!!!!!!!!

Cindy

[K8]

Yeah, I've thought I was a freak some times.  There seems to be a fine line between different and freak.  But then I think - hey!  Freaks are people, too!  I pay my taxes.  I keep my yard neat.  I've only been arrested once, long ago, for doing something stupid, so I'm not a threat to the community.  Freak or no freak, I'm just another person.

It seems every time I mention to one of my girlfriends how awful I look in the mirror, she'll dismiss it as something all of us gals do.  We're all hard on ourselves. 

Be gentle with yourself.  You're not a freak.

*hugs*
Kate

[Blaire]

Thank you all it helps to have people to encourage you.


"Starting today i will try to NOT call myself a freak"  ok

[Myself]

I am the freakiest person I know.. yet somehow everyone seems to like me and wants me to be around them and I have more than one "best friend".

I am the only one who doesn't seem to like me!

My grandma just wants my hair though she'd give for free me any day! ^^

[Calistine]

Yeah we do all feel this way. Its alright though. Stay true to yourself, never call yourself a freak, and NEVER let anyone tell you if this is right or not

[ArleneTgirl]

Positive thoughts darlin.  Dream it, believe it, achieve it!

[Darlene]

You know Blaire , i feel like i freak 24/ 7 . There is no surgeries that can make my body right. Hang in there girl.

[Marie]

Transitioning is not easy.  There is always a bigger mountain, that will seem just as unclimbable when you get to it.

If it's your look you don't like then change your look.  There is no better evidence that women come in all shapes and sizes than all of us.  Find a style that doesn't make you feel weird.  Don't be discouraged, turn your fears into action.  Try and focus on the things you can change, and accept that the things you can't change right now might take a little longer.

Don't be a victim of yourself, life is too short.