I still look like a woman

[katherine]

Hi Nero,
It's been said already, but you  really haven't been on T for long and it does take time.  You see yourself in the mirror every day, as such, any changes that do occur you may not even notice.  Maybe take a picture at the beginning of each month and make comparisons. You're more likely to spot subtle changes.  That's like me looking in the mirror everyday at my body shape, breast development, etc.  I know very well I won't see changes from day to day.  Just eager for things to happen.  It does take time... Hugs.

[Hector]

I must confess to being somewhat irritated by some replies here. 'Confidence' may work for someone who already looks masculine enough which I don't.
Really guys, if that worked we wouldn't be in this condition. No amount of confidence is going to make people see what's not there.
I've been secure in my maleness for many years now. It's nothing to do with that.

Sorry, I didn't want to offend you. Maybe I chose wrong words, I apologize again because english is not my mother language and I don't do enough pratice.
Anyway, what I meant is that, now, you don't have boobs anymore, you started T some months ago, you should like a young boy. There are young boy that, before puberty, are mistaken a lot for girl because they look feminine. I think that you just shouldn't worry too much about this.
I think you will need just a few months until you'll start to pass frequently.

[Nero]

Sorry, I didn't want to offend you. Maybe I chose wrong words, I apologize again because english is not my mother language and I don't do enough pratice.
Anyway, what I meant is that, now, you don't have boobs anymore, you started T some months ago, you should like a young boy. There are young boy that, before puberty, are mistaken a lot for girl because they look feminine. I think that you just shouldn't worry too much about this.
I think you will need just a few months until you'll start to pass frequently.

It's okay.  Maybe I'm too old to look like a young boy at this point. 

[tekla]

Maybe its more than just looking the part, how much are you doing to be the part?  Are you out doing guy stuff?  Working?  Living a male life?  Or are you just dressing like a guy and doing the rest in your head?

[Alyssa M.]

I once heard of a surgeon who said he'd never had a patient who complained about healing too fast.* I'm sure you'll do fine, but it will take a while.

*I think I read it in a novel or something, actually

[Nero]

Maybe its more than just looking the part, how much are you doing to be the part?  Are you out doing guy stuff?  Working?  Living a male life?  Or are you just dressing like a guy and doing the rest in your head?

what's guy stuff? what's a male life? i work, but so do women.

[heatherrose]

what's guy stuff? what's a male life? i work, but so do women.

THAT is the original question.
The ONE which we all,
first asked ourselves.

Isn't it?

[Nero]

THAT is the original question, that we first asked ourselves.

Isn't it?

I don't know. I have no idea what's under the hood of my car and I don't watch sports. Uh oh.

[heatherrose]

I have no idea what's under the hood of my car and I don't watch sports.

Anymore,
I've come to realize that there really is nothing,
aside from physiology, that is inherently
MALE or FEMALE it is ALL subjective.

[roo]

I don't know. I have no idea what's under the hood of my car and I don't watch sports. Uh oh.

Well, I'm pre-T so I can't really be much of experienced help but you're going through a second puberty right? I think all adolescent guys worry about being "man" enough.  It would probably help your confidence to have some knowledge on stereotypical 'guy" stuff like sports and cars, just so you know you've got something to say when the macho man sat next to you at the bus stop strikes up a conversation with you.

My dad is definitely a man and comfortable enough with it, and at 6'2" no one would think otherwise, but he still feels the pressure to keep up with football and hockey even though he could care less.  Unfortunately it's kind of part of being a guy in this society

[Ellieka]

I know what your doing wrong Nero. It occurred to me while listening to a neighbor talking to his friend just a little while ago. You need to use the word F***K, S**T, and C**K sucker after ever non explicative word... Oh wait... that's only for the uncultured men.  Never mined, I think your going to look just fine.

You've seen what I looked like after only 3 months on HRT... not very pretty at all. It's taken me over a year to feel OK in public. 

[perfectisolation]

I'm not a big believer in the "People judge your gender by how much you believe in it" outlook, so I'll wager a few guesses at what's most likely your trouble

I disagree with this. I've gone out as male and passed more lately as a man/guy even and I'm pre-T (as opposed to passing as a young male/boy). Lately I've gotten better on having a male tone and like many say here that is more important than voice pitch. I'm 5'5 just as well Nero, still have fem facial features, no facial hair etc. The only time I don't pass as male or confuse people is when I have no confidence and accidentally make my voice sound girly. When I go out I go in a male mindset, not thinking about how girly I must be, but thinking and being male, there's no problems with 'passing'.

[heatherrose]

I don't know. I have no idea what's under the hood of my car and I don't watch sports. Uh oh.

Are we doing ourselves and our brothers and sisters (cigendered and/or gender variant)
a disservice, by insisting that only girls XXXX and boys yyyyy? I know plenty of "born women" who,
while they do have an intimate knowledge of the workings under a car hood and would blush
a "Drunken Sailor" while watching "Monday Night Football" are very comfortable with
their own femininity and wouldn't break a sweat kicking the butt of anyone dumb
enough to bring this seeming contradiction in terms to their attention.

[Nero]

I disagree with this. I've gone out as male and passed more lately as a man/guy even and I'm pre-T (as opposed to passing as a young male/boy). Lately I've gotten better on having a male tone and like many say here that is more important than voice pitch. I'm 5'5 just as well Nero, still have fem facial features, no facial hair etc. The only time I don't pass as male or confuse people is when I have no confidence and accidentally make my voice sound girly. When I go out I go in a male mindset, not thinking about how girly I must be, but thinking and being male, there's no problems with 'passing'.

That may possibly work for some people who just need one thing to tip them in the male category but again, it's kind of insulting to suggest that someone this doesn't work for isn't using the right 'mindset.' A person can be 'thinking ' as male as they want, and that's not going to alter people's corneas.
Not to mention that someone who is clearly an adult is going to have a more difficult time passing as a prepubescent boy which is what most pre and early T guys pass as. If you pass pre-T more power to you, but don't assume your good fortune means someone else is doing it 'wrong'.

[sweetstars]

Nero, this takes time.  Please be patient.  This is a gradual process, and I have seen plenty of guys go through it, but it can take over a year.  Its gradual, it doesn't happen overnight. 

Early on with HRT, there is a thing for all trans folks a desire for things to happen now.  But the truth is ones body determines its own pace, and it requires patience.  Don't worry about what you see now, think what you will see a year, two years from now.  You will start to look more like an adult as time passes, don't stress too much. This is a long term process, remember most natal men take 5-7 years to go through puberty.  It will probably take two to three years for you to start looking your age. Be patient, its my best advice.

[Janet_Girl]

Just for chuckles, try one of the fake beard things.  And see what you think.. I'll bet that you don't look near as girly as you think.  After the facial hair comes in try growing a beard, you will at least know what you will look like.



Janet

[Nero]

I'll bet that you don't look near as girly as you think. 


Janet

I look like a dyke. I know this because now women constantly check me out.

[Janet_Girl]

Gee.  You do know that women check out men too, right?

Try wearing a 'A' line t-shirt.  There will be no doubt that you are male.


Janet

[Mister]

It takes some guys a long ass time before they pass.  My buddy, who has tiny, delicate girly features took almost 1.5 yrs to pass.  I know it sucks, but you just have to hang on and wait.

[thestory]

I've watched quite a few people documenting their progress on T. Some comfortable with their outcomes. Some not so much. But from what I've seen they all look pretty damn much like men after a couple years.
Of course I'm pre-T and have no personal experience. And there is always the exception. I just haven't seen it yet.