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How to tell someone?

Started by icontact, August 30, 2009, 06:19:37 PM

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icontact

Hey guysssss, I'm baaack with a question!

So the other night, I met this girl through three hours of dancing, I think she's really great, and we definitely like each other. However, I'm stealth. And I don't know how I would go about telling her that I wasn't born a boy. I figure that's something I have to do before things go farther. I just have no idea where to start or how to phrase it. I don't want to scare her off but I don't want to leave any illusions about myself.

Help?
Hardly online anymore. You can reach me at http://cosyoucantbuyahouseinheaven.tumblr.com/ask
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LordKAT

I have wondered on how to go about that one too. I hope someone has an answer that seems to make sense.
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placeholdername

Quote from: Asher on August 30, 2009, 06:19:37 PM
Hey guysssss, I'm baaack with a question!

So the other night, I met this girl through three hours of dancing, I think she's really great, and we definitely like each other. However, I'm stealth. And I don't know how I would go about telling her that I wasn't born a boy. I figure that's something I have to do before I ask if she'd like to be my girlfriend. I just have no idea where to start or how to phrase it. I don't want to scare her off but I don't want to leave any illusions about myself.

Help?

I don't think you *need* to tell her before you ask.  If you're going to be stealth, you can't go around outing yourself to everyone you want to ask on a date.  I'd say, ask her out first and see if there's actual chemistry there -- then, if telling her changes how she feels about you then it probably wasn't going to work out anyway.
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Chamillion

I'd say to tell her around the second or third date.  Any later, she might feel like she was being lied to.  And if you tell her too early, it might a) freak her out so she doesn't want to get to know you, or b) she might be ok with it, but may start seeing you as not just a guy.  So give her some time to get to know you for you, but don't wait too long
;D
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Myself

Quote from: Chamillion on August 31, 2009, 04:43:31 PM
I'd say to tell her around the second or third date.  Any later, she might feel like she was being lied to.  And if you tell her too early, it might a) freak her out so she doesn't want to get to know you, or b) she might be ok with it, but may start seeing you as not just a guy.  So give her some time to get to know you for you, but don't wait too long

I second that! :)
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Cindy

Thirded

And good luck, hope it works out

LOVE
Cindy
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DamagedChris

I always fight with having to tell people in the back of my head...dates especially. Sex would be one of those things kinda hard to "fake" without surgery...and not sure either of the surgeries look real enough to pass to a cis girl.
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JonasCarminis

Quote from: chrissyboy on September 01, 2009, 10:59:20 AM
...and not sure either of the surgeries look real enough to pass to a cis girl.

or any girl
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icontact

Told her today, she was totallyyyyy cool with it! ;D Tis only a matter of time before this becomes a serious relationship, I'm so happy.

Thanksyall for the advice. :)
Hardly online anymore. You can reach me at http://cosyoucantbuyahouseinheaven.tumblr.com/ask
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Jay

Quote from: Ngarehu on September 04, 2009, 11:15:12 PM
Congrats dude, I hope it works out well for you  :)

Second that! :)

Jay


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