I find it interesting that this year, with 9/11/09 falling on a Friday, the words "September eleventh" have seemed to lose their sting; that is, I've heard of various events scheduled for the day without the kind of cringe-factor it evoked in years past. I think all of those unfortunate souls with birthdays on 9/11 can go back to being able to celebrate on that day.
I am still appalled and saddened by what happened that day. The effects of our nation's ill-begotten response on the people of Iraq go beyond appalling to the point of mind-numbing. (Afghanistan is a different and much more complicated story, in my opinion, though also a terribly sad one.)
For the year or so after 9/11, I would read the Portraits in Grief section in the NY Times, and invariably end up in tears at the almost banal ordinariness of the lives of those who died that day. I sometimes imagine a similar but much larger section of obituaries for all those who have died needlessly as a result of the American response to the attacks.
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I wear my NY Yankees cap with prideF**k the Yankees.
Other than that -- I'm sorry for your loss. My sister lost a friend that day as well.