Aggression?

[Jamie]

A question for all of you:

Were you aggressive/angry while you were pre-everything?

I'm pre-everything and lately I noticed that I'm sometimes too aggressive.
I got mad pretty fast, sometimes over something stupid...
I try to calm down, but i feel angry long after that.

I'm not aggressive towards people or animals, I just feel like... Like I want to beat the **** out of someone!  I usually hit something that's near me at the moment (chair, book or something like that).

I was thinking: Maybe the reason for all of this is because I'm not outed?
I hate living like this, I want to do stuff I really want...

So just wanted to know: Is this "normal" for us? Did you had problem like this and how did you solve it?

[Nero]

Yes. I think it's the estrogen making us crazy (no offense to the ladies  ). T helps a lot.

[LordKAT]

Yup, anger without T is very real abd mine much like yours. Makes me wonder at my therapist who had my endo start with a lo dose cause of anger issues.

[Ender]

Yes.  To the point that the 'psychological test' I took at my therapist's office got flagged at the scoring center, and the center called my therapist and told her to get in touch with me--immediately.  I firmly reassured her that I wasn't a threat to others, like the scoring center feared... just a threat to myself *sigh*.

I am 110% less self-destructive on T.  It's nice.  It actually feels that I have returned to the relatively sane, happy being that I was before puberty.  Not to say that I'm all smiles all of the time, but I see a point in living now.  And I no longer seethe with anger and impulse on a monthly basis.

[heatherrose]

This subject was touched upon in another thread and I believe
the consensus that we came to was, pre-HRT the FTM or MTF brain
is lacking the proper "fuel" to operate on and and "The Edge of Rage"
is the result. I have experienced the same thing. The link below,
leads you down the rabbit hole leading to the thread.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,64813.msg430183.html#msg430183

[Silver]

And I no longer seethe with anger and impulse on a monthly basis.

Seethe. That's a good word to describe it. I don't hurt people, and I don't behave very aggressively. I'm just tense and seething all of the time. Pre-everything. We'll get there though, won't we? The rest of you seem to say that starting T and the like help so I'll take your words for it.

SilverFang

[jet3]

I should be starting T very soon but for now, I'm still Pre T. I have always had a temper problem, I get angry over nothing. I've noticed the past few months, since i've been coming out to everyone and going to my therapist my anger issues have begun to fade away. Im not so on the edge anymore and it actually takes a lot to make me mad now.  I think it might be because I felt like I had been hiding myself and now I am able to be me. I notice the closer i get to my first shot the better i feel about myslef. Like i said, i should be starting T sometime in the next few weeks, so when i do I will let you know if i notice anymore of a difference in my anger.

[Luc]

I had horrendous anger issues prior to going on T, to the point that I would actually hit and cut myself to avoid doing damage to anyone else. Yes, incredibly harmful to myself, but NEVER to another person. T made the anger far less severe, and far more manageable. However, when I had to go off T for four months the last time... I put my fist through the wall twice. Wonderful stuff, estrogen.

SD

[Camden]

OMG I was such a pain in the BUTT pre"t". EVERYONE including myself has notices a big change for the better once starting "t". IMO it's because we are in some way "wired" for "t". It was such a relief, like the missing piece I had been looking for.

[Jay]

I wasn't aggressive. I was more aggressive on my shots as in I wanted to take down the world with me. I was depressed more than anything Pre T and now again I am depressed oh the joys!

Jay

[Christo]

A question for all of you:

Were you aggressive/angry while you were pre-everything?

nope not me.  I've always been a mellow kinda guy.  It takes alot 2 piss me off. 

[Miniar]

I was, and still am, excessively emotional.
I know it doesn't show much in my posts, that's cause I refuse to post from an emotional and thus irrational standpoint, so I walk away for a while (and curl up and cry) while I'm cooling off.

The common experience of you guys,. that T "calms" the raw emotional nerves.. it gives a guy hope ^^

[Aussie Jay]

From Miniar:
I was, and still am, excessively emotional... The common experience of you guys,. that T "calms" the raw emotional nerves.. it gives a guy hope ^^

Amen bro... Amen. I too suffer the emotional crap - but usually to the point of anger. I can really see it from both points. Either way I hope that the correct "juice" will help. Things I read here make me more eager to start T... Like I'm not already chomping at the bit
Well show me a man (identified female at birth) who isn't...
Cheers
Jay

[Teknoir]

I'm still pre-T. Hopefully not for much longer... I'm workin' on it as best as I can! 

It's not unusual for me to get angry when provoked. I wouldn't call myself aggressive, I just have a much, much lower tolerance for idiots after coming out.

I think it's due to an increase in self worth.

Also - after coming out, it becomes OK to get angry. Like transwomen and crying. We don't have to hold back anymore.

[sneakersjay]

I had a lot of self-directed anger for a long time and didn't really know why I hated myself so much, esp. when I had a lot of positives going for me.  I never felt aggressive toward others but just a lot of anger.

That is all gone with the starting of T and the yanking of the dreaded internal parts.  I'm very calm and zen now.


Jay

[Vancha]

Whenever I get emotional, I feel absolutely out of control.  It's hard to describe, but I feel completely unable to think rationally, very fogged and unable to "touch the earth".  It is so distressing.  Along with that, I often experience seething anger, which is perfectly described in this thread.  I feel like the anger radiates throughout my every limb.  I don't necessarily express it, but it's there.  And very difficult to deal with.  I'm pre-everything, so we shall see if this is alleviated.  I think, during "that time of the month", my anger is probably at its worst.

[Jamie]

Thanks to all for your answers. 
While I was reading I could find myself in your answers.
I was thinking that maybe I'm the only one, but now I see am not.

I hope that one day I will start with T, and can't wait to see how I would feel after that.

For now, I'm trying to find some way to relax and minimize the anger.
I was thinking maybe to start with kickboxing! 

[Miniar]

Meditation helps me control them a bit... mostly in the knowing when to walk away department.

[Nero]

Yeah, my aggression was really bad at times. Not like I got in a ton of fights or anything (not as many as I would've liked at the time anyway  ) but being a young 'girl', my aggression was seen as a much bigger deal than it was. For a boy, I would've been completely normal.  Anyway, I ended up heavily sedated from the age of 14 on. That helped some, but I was a zombie on this choking cocktail of drugs.
Anyway, there was a lot of anger, a lot of rage. When I got older, it was one of the reasons I turned to drugs. They actually made me a nicer person.

But I'm a lot more relaxed now. Maybe cause I'm older, maybe the T, maybe the simple fact of transition. But it gets better. A whole lot better. Hang in there.

[CodyJess]

I'm still pre-T (ha ha...), and reading a lot of these responses gives me hope. I have a considerable amount of aggression and anger (worst at *that* time of the month) and I'm really hoping that getting on T will help calm me down a bit. I've already noticed a considerable decline in my usual self-destructive urges since I started dressing full-time.