I finally have the chance to see a therapist. That I can afford.
Not so excited.
To keep it short: I don't even have enough 'give-a-damn' to get out of bed some days; but I still have doubts that I'm 'bad enough' to need to transition.
I'm afraid that if I take these doubts to a therapist, I'll still end up making the wrong decision. That my doubts will prevent me from getting a letter for T, which I really want (and really need to try, so I have the chance to 'feel' if this is the right thing for me). That if I start T and still aren't happy, that I'll not be able to stop taking it regardless and end up as a miserable boy instead of a miserable girl (and down all the time and money and stress that goes into this).
I'm worried that now that this door is open (therapy), I don't have the courage to step through it. How am I supposed to go to therapy to get T if I can't even be bothered to get out of bed?
This is a terrible feeling. How do any of you guys (and gals, and non-binarys) deal with this? What helps get your mood up, or what did you do when (if) you had thoughts like these?
