I finally have the chance to see a therapist. That I can afford.

Not so excited.

To keep it short: I don't even have enough 'give-a-damn' to get out of bed some days; but I still have doubts that I'm 'bad enough' to need to transition.

I'm afraid that if I take these doubts to a therapist, I'll still end up making the wrong decision. That my doubts will prevent me from getting a letter for T, which I really want (and really need to try, so I have the chance to 'feel' if this is the right thing for me). That if I start T and still aren't happy, that I'll not be able to stop taking it regardless and end up as a miserable boy instead of a miserable girl (and down all the time and money and stress that goes into this).

I'm worried that now that this door is open (therapy), I don't have the courage to step through it. How am I supposed to go to therapy to get T if I can't even be bothered to get out of bed?

This is a terrible feeling. How do any of you guys (and gals, and non-binarys) deal with this? What helps get your mood up, or what did you do when (if) you had thoughts like these?

Hi Cody,
Go see the therapist.  Your doubts will likely persist.  Talking to a therapist could help you to determine who and what you are, give you the insight you need to determine whether transition is right for you or not.  Transitioning is obviously such an important decision, but you have to know who you are first.  I think you need to make that determination before starting hrt, not after.  Taking T just to get the ""feel" if this is the right thing for me", isn't the wisest thing to do.  Others may disagree, but again, my advice is to get to the therapist and find yourself.  Hugs.

Kathy

Just make the appointment and show up then be totally 100% honest. Your therapist can then help you. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you both, for the feedback. When logic fails me, I tend to try and feel my way through a problem... and this 'problem' is like being dumb and numb.

The hardest part will be the honesty - there are a lot of things in my life that I'm just flat out not interested in the slightest in talking about. I agree that I do need to give it a chance, though. Now I just need to get the money together for it.

My therapist told me that she more quickly trusted people who went to her with questions on day one...and that they worked together to etablish real reasons to proceed. She always questioned peoples motives when they approached therapy with a close mind.

Being open and honest usually counts for a lot more then having a fixed point of view...and the discussion doesn't just have to be about transition..feeling good and motivation is just as important...

Chrissty

Yes, absolutely... be honest. They can't help you at all if you aren't.

In other news, is that pic you? I'm assuming so, but... must make certain prior to commenting.

SD

Quote from: Sebastien on October 28, 2009, 10:37:51 PM
In other news, is that pic you? I'm assuming so, but... must make certain prior to commenting.

Wahaha- yes. I just finally got a decent haircut today, and took the opportunity to get a pic that didn't look pissed!

My god. No, no... not swooning. Really. I'm going to go now.

Wow! Love the new avatar. You are a VERY HOT guy!

Well, I guess the manly thing to do here is -not- blush. So... yeah. I'll just be doing that.

And that therapy thing. I'll get right on that. 

Quote from: CodyJess on November 02, 2009, 09:23:12 PM
Well, I guess the manly thing to do here is -not- blush. So... yeah. I'll just be doing that.

And that therapy thing. I'll get right on that. 

Men blush.

If you aren't completely honest with your therapist, they have incomplete information to base decisions on. Be honest and just be yourself.

Randi