Lots of interesting perspectives, and much of what I agree with. I will, however, take an alternative view of this issue. First, there's degrees of stealth, depending on your private and public life, and it's very much a personal choice. I will add, however, if you look at the array of information available and the Internet, I will argue it's impossible to be stealth throughout your life anymore.
I make this argument for several reasons. First, more and more personal and private information is becoming computerized and available on-line, and much of supposedly legally private information is available through professonal investigators and others. In short, it's impossible to hide. I'm never arguing to come out, that a personal choice about yourself and your history, but I will argue to be prepared some day when someone asks you about your past.
If you don't believe this, have someone research your background, and they'll likely find a lot about your past including your court records, credit reports, old/new birth certificates (remember many states don't destroy original documents but simply amend them, archive the old one, and send you the new version), school records, employment records. And once they get your SSN, a wealth of stuff is available (same applies for state and federal agency records, nothing is destroyed, only amended and documented).
And we can't hide our chromosones and genetics. The day you have a medical exam at a new clinic or for an emergency, and the doctor walks in and asks, "Gee, Ms. X, your records says your female. Can you explain this difference in our test results?" And as my physician, who has many transclients, says you should be honest so you get the best treatment. Otherwise, you risk your health and possibly remove liability options if things go wrong.
As for being public, that's a different matter, but I find it difficult to understand when post-ops use the community to get through their transistion and then walk away from it because they don't want to be associated with it or who anymore. And then talk about the discrimination and lack of legal rights for transpeople or talk about the public's perception of transpeople with other groups (cd's, tg's, tv's, etal.). To me, when I hear this, it's a big "Huh?"
I'm not arguing about being an activist, I'm only arguing to remember you don't go through your transistion by yourself. But mostly, you can argue for the general view of human diversity, rights and protections. You can educate and inform those who express discrimination or oppresson. You can help those who ask. You can be an understanding friend to another. And so on. And know many are, it's just we need even more.
I also argue many of the best examples of transpeople are those who are stealth, and those are the ones who should be showing we're just normal people getting through out life. If more would stand up when and where appropriate, then the public would see we're not what they think, and we're just like them. I've thought about a book on this but it would take some of the stealth to come forward.
Anyway, my thought on a book is borrowed from the book by Mary Ann Halpin's book
Fearless Women except titled "Women among us". It's just a thought at this stage but I think it would forward the view of transwomen in the public. At least my therapist agrees.
Just my thoughts, and sorry for the lengthy post. And thanks for your views. Thoughtful and informative reading.