What Is It About Being a Woman?

[sarahF]

Hi Kate
Happy hunting! Tread softly.
Sarah

[qRachelp]

I'm so looking forward to being treated like the lady that I am by a good and honest man.  I've already waited much too long.  I'm now one those people figuratively carrying the proverbial hitchhiker's travel sign: WOMAN OR BUST!

XX,
Rachel

[K8]

Hi Kate
Happy hunting! Tread softly.
Sarah

Thanks, Sarah.  So far it is like I'm just sitting in a blind and the game has been coming to me.   When I get my confidence up a little I'll start actually looking for it.

And Rachel, if I ever hunt down a good and honest man I will feel like I've accomplished something rare.

- Kate

[qRachelp]

Thanks, Sarah.  So far it is like I'm just sitting in a blind and the game has been coming to me.   When I get my confidence up a little I'll start actually looking for it.

And Rachel, if I ever hunt down a good and honest man I will feel like I've accomplished something rare.

- Kate

I know... but we have to believe in fairy tales in order to have the will to live and see each new day.  Right?  I'd be dead already if I couldn't dream of a better life. . . .

Love,
Rachel

[NDelible Gurl]

I like the fairy tales. There's a certain desire to be literally swept off my feet by a smart, interested, caring, responsible, and good looking (doesn't hurt) man

Like K8 my confidence is a little shot now so I'm almost just thinking "if it happens it happens."

lol Women or Bust??? That's me these last couple of months now

[qRachelp]

I like the fairy tales. There's a certain desire to be literally swept off my feet by a smart, interested, caring, responsible, and good looking (doesn't hurt) man

Like K8 my confidence is a little shot now so I'm almost just thinking "if it happens it happens."

lol Women or Bust??? That's me these last couple of months now

Mia- You look beautiful in your avatar pic; I don't think it will be difficult for you to have a good man find you.  But... I guess you've got to get out there and be seen for it to happen.

I start hormones in seven days, so I've still got awhile before I can be "seen".... *shrugs*

XX,
Rachel

[Sandy]

Might as well 'kill 'em and grill 'em' turns out they are damn hard to domesticate.

Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

-Sandy

[sarahF]

Sandy
that is realy good.  I'll keep it in mind
Sarah

[LordKAT]

Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

-Sandy

*sigh* I guess since transmen have no testicles, We must be your dream men.


I'd   take the real thing if I could tho.  I told a person where I live that women are weird. She said, "All I know is men get loony with a full moon."  Needless to say, battle of the sexes was on.  She got evicted a bit ago so it ended now.

[Janet_Girl]

Even if they have no testicles they still have "T".  A remote and sports.  So they still need training.  And you can't flirt with them because they are all taken. 



Janet

[tekla]

Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

Congratulations.  You're not just as sexist as the guys I work with who say "never trust anything that can bleed five days a month and not die."

[Sandy]

Congratulations.  You're not just as sexist as the guys I work with who say "never trust anything that can bleed five days a month and not die."

I kind of liked that one...

-Sandy

[The None Blonde]

Well, they say that if it has tires or testicles, sooner or later they'll give you problems...

Congratulations.  You're not just as sexist as the guys I work with who say "never trust anything that can bleed five days a month and not die."

Its not sexism for sexism's sake... these sort of comments, from either side of the fence are not meant to put down the other sex... they are simply camaradre things.... We women make comments and jokes about men to eachother... its a girl thing... guys do it about girls... a guy thing.... the battle of the sexes is never ending... and as long as its said with a smile on your face, and in understanding company, theres no harm. When it becomes malicious, it has no place.

[lilacwoman]

when I was in male mode and a nice guy -nice for me is a nice friendly face with twinkly alive eyes above a reasonably fit body - noticed I was looking at him he would get that angry aggressive look that told me he thought I was gay.
Now I'm fully transitioned I can admire openly and see a flicker of pleasure as the guy realises I think he's cute. 
Now all I gotta do is get rid of the male bit but at doctors this morning he said I have been set back to middle of next year.

[Arch]

Hormones wont change who you are, your personality, your temperment...

On the contrary, I feel that my personality has changed quite a lot since I started HRT. I'm sure that some of these changes are due to the whole transition experience, but hormones have a powerful effect on the brain. Before HRT, I told my then-partner that I would still be the same person. After HRT, we are both finding out that while I still have the same basic character, my personality has changed a lot. He doesn't like it much. I do.

[deviousxen]

Transition "obviously" changes who you are.
It's a powerful experience that changes your hormonal balance, appearance, the reactions you get from your surroundings and so on.
If we say that who we are is biological, then the hormonal changes of transition changes who we are. If we say that who we are is the sum of our experiences, then transition changes who we are. (Personally, I believe that who we are is biological and sum of experience combined, topped off with just a little touch of "spiritual" influence from our soul.) Either way, transition changes you.

You would have changed some way anyway, but nothing can change you exactly the same as transition will change you.

We change all the time. I will not be the exact same man tomorrow as I was when I woke up yesterday.

Our personality stays the same in it's principle components, but these components are reactionary. When we change who we are and how our surroundings react to us, we change which aspects of our personality are the strongest.
It doesn't "change" our personality's components themselves, but it changes our personality in it's expression.

A bubbly, giggly girl, will thus be, far more bubbly and giggly when her surroundings allow her to be a girl. etc.. etc..

Yeah... I may have changed a lot but the "He" part still engages autopilot whenever I'm in a place thats too much for the real side to handle... Yet if I'm either tripping or in an environment where its NOT BS, and not only accepting, but a place where they DO see it, and aren't the type of people to look at my old license and say, "Sorry hun... You were hot as a boy," And other things like that, or still treat me like a guy.... My brain just kind of glitched out there.


But the point is is that environment is a large factor for me. I'm more her if I'm talking to my one distant friend on the phone, much more, than lets say... When I'm in class or most public places. Its hard to really let yourself flow out right if you are constantly aware that most people around you will NEVER truly see you the way you are inside. Like in public.... I either try my hardest to, "Be a girl," With my mannerisms, and I fail just as much as I do when I'm acting all grunty like a boy. I'll go back and forth depending on how motivated I feel... Yet I still fail both ways. Its when I'm sleep deprived and have facial stubble, ironically, that I pass at least for a few seconds... Statistically speaking... But I'll get so many problems in these environments and I'll realize I'm not acting like myself and it will sometimes get to me. Like, "That wasn't me talking like that... That was just autopilot and random data. Crap."

Yet I'll go to my local transman friends house, and I KNOW he takes me seriously. I know he sees it in me and isn't effing lying just to be nice... And he doesn't say stuff that hurts unless we're both on that topic in which case we both laugh about it instead. I'll act more like myself around him, and I get more "Bubbly" near him. Not bubbly in the sense of feeling like he's hot, but just how I would act normally and should act. Brain hurts... Hard to articulate my speak correctly (another allergic attack last night... I ended up taking liquid benedryl and hitting a pipe like twice to relax the muscles. Pipe sounds like a bad idea, but it stopped my esophagus from convulsing, so it was obviously a good thing. It went away, but I was and still am, understandably exhausted. Benedryl messes me up longer than it should. It'll stay in my system for a day at least and I'll just feel groggy. Plus I'm still in slight pain from the attack... So I'm sorry if I sound STUPID)


So I do act more "Bubbly" around him, and when I'm talking to my distant person I love. I'm starting to get better with the public thing, but its NEVER easy even if I"m fulltime. Guess I should give it time considering I've only been "Fulltime" less than six months. Been on HRT for a longer time... So I'm more used to that... RELATIVELY. Emotions are not new to me cause I cried a lot of my adolescence, but its ironically my pubescent minds feelings of "Vulnerability", and raw weakness that add to my anxiety and make him come out and me not pass...


Sorry... Ranty.... Thread continue (Goes back to sleep)

[K8]

That's really interesting, Kara.  My experience is almost the opposite.  It's when I completely relax and just be myself that I seem to do the best.  I've had two different women friends comment on the fact that I walk like a woman and both times I wasn't paying attention to how I was walking.  I don't think I pass all the time, but I know I pass sometimes.  Most of the time I can't tell.

In the beginning I had to work at it – the walk, the mannerisms, the speech, the voice.  Now most of the time I just go about my daily business, don't think about it much and don't care one way or another.  Many people in town know me or recognize me from before, but I'm just Kate now and they treat me as Kate.  I've been full-time almost seven months.

I wonder if my age helps.  When I was in college the first time (after high school), I was not well formed as a person.  The gender issues played a part, but part of it was my age.  I have some acquaintances/friends who are around 20, but most of the people I deal with are in the 30-70 range, which is a different population than college-age.

Hope you're feeling better, dear.

- Kate

[MasterAsh]

Brain hurts... Hard to articulate my speak correctly (another allergic attack last night... I ended up taking liquid benedryl and hitting a pipe like twice to relax the muscles. Pipe sounds like a bad idea, but it stopped my esophagus from convulsing, so it was obviously a good thing. It went away, but I was and still am, understandably exhausted. Benedryl messes me up longer than it should. It'll stay in my system for a day at least and I'll just feel groggy.

Kara, are you familiar with the synergistic effect? Do you regularly have something else in your system when you take Benedryl or just this one time?

[deviousxen]

Kara, are you familiar with the synergistic effect? Do you regularly have something else in your system when you take Benedryl or just this one time?

I know it... It doesn't matter cause benedryl in any large quantity (what I need for an emergency) tends to stay in my system for a day or two. It really does... It should get out of me faster and most people don't seem to have that problem, but I get it from even a normal dose. I mean... I had 1 and a half teaspoons of the liquid Benedryl, and my ignition didn't work for a couple of days... Probably also because my insides were even more damaged, and my stupid body tried to heal it, which is useless considering how acidic it is.

Sometimes I risk myself and I don't take benedryl, but then I'm in constant pain that comes back and forth for the next 4 hours, and my insides churn up acid and attack... I do that because I know the only thing that works knocks me right out. Sometimes I like having a mind to think with, but I decided against it that time cause I don't want to die of an attack and because It just HURT... So much. SO much.

[Naturally Blonde]

Re: What Is It About Being a Woman?

Mentally I've always been a woman but physically I haven't got there yet!