Would you??

[Aussie Jay]

Hey All
Just wanted to ask a question...
I know someone who is a really well known writer/blogger/social commentator/journalist/used to be an editor for a popular magazine/been on TV - blah blah and so on. She has asked me to write for her website about my transition from wo to go, how I came out, what people have said, how I feel and challenges I face, updates every few months and Trans issues in general etc etc
Would you do it? I mean, I think I want to... It's a big decision. Not everyone is going to agree with my decision and all that sort of stuff – the usual concerns for safety and anonymity versus visibility, I'm sure you guys know better than anyone...
Just wanting to see what others think and any ideas or opinions??
Cheers in advance for the help 

[Jay]

Personally I wouldn't to it because of my extended family.. plus I want to be stealth.

Jay

[Aussie Jay]

Personally I wouldn't to it because of my extended family.. plus I want to be stealth.

Jay

Jay, if you don't mind - what about your extended family? And I totally understand about wanting to be stealth... 

[FolkFanatic]

That's a tough one.

I can see why one would want to go "stealth" and just be seen as any normal guy (and not transguy) but i could also see where it would be useful and helpful to others to have the information posted.

I would certainly consider it if i could use no last names and if i where to substitute names for people in my life. I wouldn't mind sharing who my doctors where/are (since no one could legally obtain information about me even if they tried) and i think that a few things about my transition so far have been pretty funny (like my best friend asking if i would be wearing a strap on during sex, or passing while sitting in the gyno exam office.)

[Teknoir]

No, because I'm lazy and I don't want the responsibility of pumping out articles and having other people rely on me

I wouldn't want the responsibility of being a Transman poster child. I'm barely a good influence on myself.

I also don't want a crapload of angry transmen on my case if I go and say something they don't agree with - which given the topic and how sensitive people can get about it - pretty likely.


I could understand why you'd want to do it. It's the need to help and enlighten others.

I'd suggest a fake name if you do end up doing it. You don't want it to come back and bite you later.

[spacial]

Personally, I'd jump at the chance. Though there would be an absolute need for some confidentiality, especially about others involved.

For most of us here, the struggle to live as we know we should has been and continues to be an often tramatic experience.

We can't change the past. But we can try to build a better, more tolerant society for the next generation.

The children who are growing up now who feel frightened, confused and angry about themselves. The children who are growing up now who are learning to fear what they don't understand and what is so different from their own experiences.

The political opportunists who habitually seek out anyone who is different to blame for what they see as society's ills.

But hey, that's why they don't ask me. 

[Aussie Jay]

All very valid points - thanks heaps for the input - its much appreciated.
Hope it continues – I'm really torn here.

I understand wanting to be anonymous – that's what I want too. And I have definitely considered pseudonyms and I would not use names of actual people I know for fear of causing them harm.
She asked about maybe linking my YouTube vlogs to her site and the articles too That's a part I'm not sure about. I think my worst fear is that I'll come home and a cross or something is burning in my yard... Or that I, someone I love or someone who just knows me will be hurt.

And it means probably limiting my ability to be stealth – depending on the anonymity I can achieve.
I want to do it, but you're right Teknoir – it's a big responsibility. I don't want to be poster boy, but I guess I could deal with that - it just seems like a good opportunity to get any Trans story out there and educate/enlighten people. I could definitely see how it could end up me saying something wrong though, so better leave it at my experience and not go chatting too much if at all about general Trans issues etc.

I was thinking too that what is the difference between this and my yt channel? I realise it will probably reach more people but – that's me on the net, animated, talking etc. This would just be my words and feelings in print – no names, no court martials. I didn't think twice about making the vids but this! This has me in shreds... How different do you guys see that??
Cheers again all...

[Radar]

How different do you guys see that??

I personally think YouTube videos are riskier. Some more people may read your articles, but a ton of people go on YouTube. Even though I'm very grateful for the men on YouTube who record their transition and give advise I'd never do a video.

I want to become fully stealth and my age might be against me. Once fully transitioned a potential or at the time current employer could find those videos and use it against me. Underhanded and slimy? Yes. But that's the business world. Plus people my age and older may not be as open and accepting of ->-bleeped-<- than younger people. Hopefully you younger guys will come across more understanding and tolerate employers.

At least with articles you can use fake names, not mention your doctors' names (people can find out who you are by that info) and show no photos.

[Carson]

I would definitely do it, I have already been interviewed for papers and one article in a magazine and have used my full real name. I also do youtube videos. I would rather help my community than sacrifice that and go stealth.

[Janet_Girl]

If it wasn't one of those out of the way sites, I would jump at the chance.  Educate the ignorant masses.  But if it was for a GLBT site, it is like preaching to the choir.

[Miniar]

I, personally, would.
But that's just cause I, personally, have no plan to be stealthed, at all, ever.

Not that I'm gonna walk around town going "Look at me! I'm a transman!", just that I choose to treat this problem as no more "unusual" than being right-handed, and if talking about it as a "normal" thing will help someone else see him/herself as "normal" and not "a freak", even if that's just one person, well then I've done something "good" with my life.

[Ender]

But if it was for a GLBT site, it is like preaching to the choir.

Well, for the 'T' it certainly is.  But I've met some GLB who lack a basic understanding of trans people and who are... less than supportive.

[Basiliximab]

I personally would love to do something like this. When I'm trying to find stories about other transmen (not on forums, but like articles or whatever) to show to my family, it seems like I always come across the ones about straight transmen. Not that that's not a good thing--however. I thought I was so messed up until I found out about other people like me--and it took me quite a while too. I would just love to be more visible I suppose. I wouldn't mind it. I never had an opinion either way about being stealth; I wouldn't go out of my way to let everyone know I'm trans, but then if it came up, I would be happy to tell them about it.

But that's just me though. I think it's okay to not want everyone to know about you. 

[Aussie Jay]

Well, for the 'T' it certainly is.  But I've met some GLB who lack a basic understanding of trans people and who are... less than supportive.

When I came out some of my 'L' friends took it hardest or had the most trouble  I would have thought for people themselves judged by some of society – they might have got it better...
It's a more mainstream site so, no GLBT affiliation - apart from the support to ask me to write about my journey. She had been very friendly and even watched my vids!

I personally think YouTube videos are riskier. Some more people may read your articles, but a ton of people go on YouTube. Even though I'm very grateful for the men on YouTube who record their transition and give advise I'd never do a video.

I thought the vids were more personal too. Like you said I can use an alias if I want and no photos. And at the same time I could be completely OUT! Name (probably not last)and photos to make it personal and real...

I would definitely do it, I have already been interviewed for papers and one article in a magazine and have used my full real name. I also do youtube videos. I would rather help my community than sacrifice that and go stealth.

Did you have any problems after?? I'm not sure what kind or if I mean trouble or problems or I'm not sure!! Did anything change I guess??
Thanks again guys and gals – your help is priceless.

[Carson]

No, I didn't have any problems and never have. I enjoy being stealth when I can, but also enjoy educating people and being out when I have to be or feel that it would benefit either myself or the people around me. I can't say that anything really changed. Random people on facebook will now message me and say that they heard of me and think I'm an inspiration(which is an amazing feeling) but that's about it.

[Eli]

I'd probably "jump at the chance" as well, but at the same time I'm actually kind of old fashioned in that I tend to be a pretty private person about alot of things. Using a pseudonym or alias would probably help me be more comfortable about discussing a personal matter - like transitioning - publicly, even if photos were shown.

Ultimately I think it boils down to how public/open you are as a person though. It goes without saying that you shouldn't consent to anything that's uncomfortable or you think may impede on your privacy. I think the alias is a great way to maintain privacy while sharing intimately with lots of people.

[Aussie Jay]

Ot oh- I'm quite a private, solitary person! Oh well!! But I really like your idea Eli of an alias allowing to share and maintaining some privacy. I reckon that's something I could do... I guess I will let y'all know if I decide to do it... I just hope I make the right decision!
Thanks again for everything all - very appreciated

[Radar]

Hey Jay, if they insist on photos just post photos of a famous guy. (Law suits ahoy!)

[Kurzar]

I might or might not. Mostly not, but only because i'm not a writer and would probably hate doing it.  I do think we need more articles from transfolk out there. Personally if other transguys don't like what you wrote about your OWN life experiences well they can go write their own articles.  Each transguy/transwoman has their own unique story. Yes we share common factors when it all boils down, but life is not the same for any one of us.

Each of us reached our path differently, on different time tables. I can say i've been rejected by other bio gay guys.  It hurts because you would think they would be the more likely to understand in regards to rejection.

[Aussie Jay]

Hey Jay, if they insist on photos just post photos of a famous guy. (Law suits ahoy!)

Nice - I like it!!

Personally if other transguys don't like what you wrote about your OWN life experiences well they can go write their own articles. Each transguy/transwoman has their own unique story. Yes we share common factors when it all boils down, but life is not the same for any one of us.

Thanks - makes me feel a bit better about stuff I would have to write, cheers. It's just usually a shame it only takes one to ruin it for everyone else.
I was looking for some articles to read, similar to what I may write and couldn't find any! Maybe I'm looking in the wrong spots but if anyone knows where I will find one, please let us know.
Thanks in advance