Oh crap. lol school + bathrooms

[insanitylives]

I got kicked out of the girls room today 

Don't really pass, but apparently well enough that people have to do a double take to have any certainty about my sex...and freak out "OMG THERE'S A BOY IN THE GIRLS ROOM"
Not that I blame them I think I did that once when I was 10...

But.. um.. should I like try to avoid school bathrooms all together, or just avoid anywhere that's being used a lot (IE not the one by the caf at lunch)

haha, this is new. Happy, amused, and a little bit confused. Mostly quite amused by the whole thing.

[GnomeKid]

I just don't really use the rest rooms at school.  I don't think I did once last semester.

Two of my classes this semester, however, are held in odd buildings [one in the scene shop, and one in a concert hall dressing room] both have gender neutral bathrooms, and luckily thats my long day.  I'll use those, or find the super shady bathrooms no one on campus uses.  When I do I use the mens room though. 

[spacial]

I suggest you should avoid situations where others become disturbed.

You want to fit in, to integrate.

Not be some pervert getting cheap laughs.

[kyril]

I used the boys' room in high school when I wasn't really passing. Guys at least won't get scared/freaked out at the presence of a female-bodied person as long as you're respecting their space and privacy (as you always should in mens' spaces). But if you have a sense that there could be physical danger, I don't recommend going alone; see if you can go when male-bodied friends go. And the more crowded, usually, the better; if anyone wanted to hurt you, they'd have to isolate you first.

If you just can't take that step yet, then try going to the girls' bathroom with a female friend, or going to low-traffic girls' rooms. You'll likely have to find some sort of solution other than not going to the bathroom; having female anatomy tends to make bathroom use non-optional.

[Myself]

I think this brings up the "obvious" question: "DUDE! WHY NOT YOU GOT TO THE GUYZ TOILETZ!?"

[PanoramaIsland]

I suggest you should avoid situations where others become disturbed.

You want to fit in, to integrate.

Not be some pervert getting cheap laughs.

If people become disturbed because someone else is doing what they need to do in order to go to the bathroom, that's their problem. If someone finds trans people taking a piss in their vicinity "disturbing," too bad. I don't care.

[Dante]

I hate having to use the girl's bathroom at school, so I completely avoid it unless absolutely necessary. If the girls are thinking there's a guy in the girl's room, you should probably stay away, just in case they say something to one of the people in charge. Just a thought though.

[Myself]

I hate having to use the girl's bathroom at school, so I completely avoid it unless absolutely necessary. If the girls are thinking there's a guy in the girl's room, you should probably stay away, just in case they say something to one of the people in charge. Just a thought though.

Dude! use tha boyz toiletz!

[colormyworld]

My advise, just use the bathroom you feel most comfortable in! Who cares? If others are uncomfortable with someone using the bathroom, that's their problem, not yours!  Sorry, but I think people really need to get over it, everyone needs to use the bathroom, it shouldn't be a big issue!

If you feel more comfortable using the women's if you don't feel you pass well enough, then use the women's! If you would rather use the men's because you ARE a guy, then use the men's! Sad fact is, when you're still in that awkward 'in between' stage, you can have people whining no matter which bathroom you use!


I wish the 'family bathrooms' would catch on in more places, they really seem like the best idea in my opinion! You'd think they'd catch on especially for all the people with children! (even though I thought it was so cool to be 'allowed' to go into the men's bathroom when I was out with my dad when I was little! ha)

[Alessandro]

I hate this issue.  Luckily my department has two disabled bathrooms so I use those.  In public I try to look for disabled/family bathrooms or places with unisex/individual rooms.  If all else fails I will go in the ladies but be very quick and hide in the stall until any women in there leave.

It's really not ideal.

[spacial]

If people become disturbed because someone else is doing what they need to do in order to go to the bathroom, that's their problem. If someone finds trans people taking a piss in their vicinity "disturbing," too bad. I don't care.

In an ideal world toilets would be unisex.

But if your presence is likely to cause a negative reaction, as it did in this case, the best thing to do is avoid it.

[insanitylives]

I think this brings up the "obvious" question: "DUDE! WHY NOT YOU GOT TO THE GUYZ TOILETZ!?"

DUDE THIS! (see quoted)

isn't a good idea. Unless you pass as what you are presenting.
School is one of these places. Only use the men's room if your school is in agreement that this is ok.

School figures it's a non issue right now. Yeah, right.
Next two and a half years are gonna be fun...


I was planning on saying something more intelegent, but i'm missing words right now.

[kyril]

In an ideal world toilets would be unisex.

But if your presence is likely to cause a negative reaction, as it did in this case, the best thing to do is avoid it.

No, it's not. Using bathrooms is non-optional when you have a female body. Not only is there likely a week out of every month when you must have access every three hours or so (unless you can tolerate introducing even more female hormones into your body to prevent it) but even just on a daily basis, avoiding bathrooms poses serious health risks.

If you drink enough fluids but try to "hold it" till you get home, you're drastically increasing your risk of urinary tract infections that can lead to deadly kidney infections; if you restrict fluids, you're risking your kidneys and your heart. And during the red death, if you don't have access to a bathroom for six straight hours, you could be putting yourself at risk of toxic shock syndrome (tampons) or bacterial or fungal infection (external pads, especially improvised toilet paper ones).

Find a bathroom you can use - the one you're comfortable using - and use it when you need to. The absolute last thing you want is to develop a medical problem involving those parts. It's a truly miserable experience - both having one, and getting it diagnosed/treated.

[spacial]

Why would these situations be any more difficult in a unisex toilet?

You go into the stall, close the door and the world can go, wherever.

The point about unisex toilets is they stop being meeting places and become what they are intended for.

In some schools, which have introduced these, the space outside the stalls is limited. Making it uncomfortable for people to hang around.

[kyril]

I wasn't talking about your ideal world - I agree that unisex is the ideal. I was objecting to the advice you gave after that:
"if your presence is likely to cause a negative reaction, as it did in this case, the best thing to do is avoid it."
Practically, in the real world he lives in, that means not going to the bathroom - risking his health for other people's comfort. That's not ok.

[Myself]

DUDE THIS! (see quoted)School figures it's a non issue right now. Yeah, right.
Next two and a half years are gonna be fun...


I was planning on saying something more intelegent, but i'm missing words right now.

DUD! I am having so much fun doing that
But anyways, I think that if the reaction he gets when going in the girls bathroom is "OMG! GUY IN THE GIRLS BATHROOMS! PERVERT! HELP! UHHHHHHHHHH!!!" then he is pretty much passing? O_o

[Adio]

You didn't mention what kind of school it is (high school or college, large or small).  This is just what I would do if it were me.

For high school and (very) small colleges:  If you're passing well enough that this is happening, have a talk with your school guidance counselor.  Let them know what happened and you would like permission* to use the men's bathroom (a carry letter from a therapist would help here).  This is all unnecessary if there are gender neutral bathrooms available or if your state allows you to use any bathroom you prefer regardless of legal gender.

For larger colleges:  Just use bathrooms (either men's or women's, whichever you feel most comfortable with) on a different part of campus.  Try to find the deserted ones that no one uses.  If someone sees you and/or asks you to leave, just look confused/lost and do it or just be confident and go about your business without being confrontational.

*I wouldn't word it this way though.  While you are asking for their permission, it shouldn't be asked like that.  It should be said it such a way that it makes it seem like there is no other option.  That's why a carry letter from a therapist is a good idea; it gives you and your request credibility.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

When I went to high school, it was before I transitioned. I dropped out to transition. I got kicked out of the girls room several times in school, much to my amusement. Made me more confident that if I passed as a guy, or confused many people on my gender, people who I knew and went to school with...it would be no problem using the men's room anywhere else. And yep, it's no problem.

[spacial]

I wasn't talking about your ideal world - I agree that unisex is the ideal. I was objecting to the advice you gave after that:
"if your presence is likely to cause a negative reaction, as it did in this case, the best thing to do is avoid it."
Practically, in the real world he lives in, that means not going to the bathroom - risking his health for other people's comfort. That's not ok.

Understand. But I was most certainly not suggesting anyone should not go to the toilet. Even if that were possible.

[Al James]

Whew Spacial that was harsh. When i came out as a lesbian it was still in the days when you got beat up for it and when you went to a club you had pint glasses thrown at you just for daring to be in the same room as 'normal' people. The youngsters here are living in a more tolerant society than we have ever known and that changes their perspective on things. Worries go from being will i end up in hospital tonight to which toilet should i use. But that doesn't invalidate their worries it just makes them different to what some of us lived thro. and yes their are some that will change their minds when it goes out of fashion and yes there are some that give others a bad name but you can't lambast all the young ones on the sight just because we had a hard time