School Psychiatrist

[Jester]

After work and before class tomorrow I'm going to call the Student Health Services and book an appointment with the psychiatrist.  The appointment will definitely NOT be for tomorrow, but, yeah.  I figure if I post it here first I've got a word that I have to accord with a deed.  Otherwise I'd probably chicken out.  I'm starting to get very depressed about my gender issues, and yeah, this has gotta go down.

[K8]

Good luck on your appointment.  I hope it goes well.  The first steps are often the hardest to take.



- Kate

[Ellieka]

Cheering you on and I'll be here to ask if you actually did it Just a little 'motivation' for ya. Good luck!

[Jester]

Thanks Kate and Cami.  I'm starting to actually feel at home in this place.

[Janet_Girl]

Hey Jester, you are on notice not only from Cami and Kate, but I will be watching too.

Just keep thinking that this is what is best for you.

[Jester]

I think what's best for me would be to stop procrastinating on the midterm that I have due tomorrow, but I get your point.

[Ellieka]

Have you made that appointment yet? If not, get cracking girlfriend! 

[Jester]

I almost chickened out, and then I took a nap because I was on four hours of sleep and have a midterm paper that must get written tonight.  I called them, it was after hours, they're gonna call me in the morning.  The girl on the phone had an attitude.  If they didn't want you answering calls after hours, they wouldn't leave somebody there on the phone.  Part of me thinks this night girl has purple hair and too many piercings.

[Ellieka]

The heck with her. I'm glad you made the call. Keep us posted and chin up

[K8]

I called them, it was after hours, they're gonna call me in the morning.  The girl on the phone had an attitude.

Maybe she was studying for her midterm and was annoyed by the interruption.

Now, when they call you back make the appointment and then keep the appointment.

Good luck on your midterm and your appointment.

- Kate

[Jester]

Actually, it's not even a midterm, it's the easiest Literature Survey I've ever had to write.  John Locke is easy as pie, and the people that comment on him seem to primarily be simpletons who still take the theories of a 17th century empiricist seriously.
Post Merge: February 25, 2010, 10:11:10 AM
I have my appointment at 2:30 on Tuesday.

It's funny, immediately after I hung up the phone I started singing to myself and I never do that without musical accompaniment, and the way I was behaving probably confused my cat.

I got to school and was like "revise paper because I actually care whether or not I get a good grade on this," and I was active and participatory in class and (Holy crap) talked to the other students who were not previously my friends.  After class I approached the professor and asked if he could help me with some independent study I want to do.

It's like for the first time that my life actually matters.

[Radar]

It's like for the first time that my life actually matters.

That's a great thing.

[Ellieka]

Awesome! So glad to hear this. Let us know how things go.

[K8]

It's like for the first time that my life actually matters.

I do know what you mean.

- Kate

[Jester]

Okay.  So what kinds of things should I talk about when I'm there?  I don't know if the meeting's a half hour or an hour.  I figure that the fact that I'm transgendered should be the first thing to come out (lol, come out.)  How do you explain something like that?

One of my professors was trying to talk about the philosophy of Kierkegaard, and he said something to the effect that his ideas "can't be talked about, they can only be talked around," like, teased at, given examples, but never properly explained.  I feel that's how my transsexuality is- I don't think that I should feel like this, I can't give any good reasons, but I can give plenty of examples of that it's right.  "That," because I don't really have a "how" or "why."  It's just a thing that's there, which hurts my life when I dedicate time and energy to hiding it.

Is that too melodramatic perhaps?

[K8]

First off, I wouldn't use Kierkegaard as the basis for my philosophy, although he had some good points.

Who knows why any of is TS?  I don't think that matters.

You might say that you've had gender issues since you were X.  You feel you are TS because of A, B, and C.  Your gender issues are causing you a lot of distress.  And so on.  Be as upfront as you can bring yourself to being.

It's just a thing that's there, which hurts my life when I dedicate time and energy to hiding it.

And maybe that's all you need to say and see how it goes from there.

Good luck, dear.

- Kate

[placeholdername]

I would say, start with something comfortably vague and work towards something uncomfortably specific.  And maybe eat a candy bar right beforehand.

[Jester]

Appointment's tomorrow.  I'm all antsy and frazzled.  I haven't really been thinking straight today.  I'm filled with equal parts excitement and fear.  It's like.. once I do this, this is a for real thing.  It's no longer my secret pass time, but a lifestyle choice.  That's a big deal.  There are consequences attached to that deal.  There's liberation too.

I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish really... in my financial situation I'm way too dependent on my parents to take a risk like coming out completely.

*Dances anxiously in place*

[Radar]

Just be blunt and honest. I went in there and told him I'm a transman, I can't do it any longer and want to transition but have no idea what to do and need support. That got the ball rolling. Remember, he's there to help- so let him help.

[Jester]

Today's the day.  I'll give you guys all an update later.