Came out to my kids

[Constance]

So, when my kids asked why I wasn't home for dinner last night, my wife told them I'd gone to see a therapist. With public transit service being what it is, I was home a little after 10pm. My wife had left for work already and my kids were still awake. I took this as a possible sign that they wanted to know what was going on, even though they seemed unconcerned when I finally walked in.

So, I told them I'd gone to see a therapist about transgender issues, as I've been beginning to think I might be more MTF rather than androgyne after all.

My coming out to them was such a non-event.

My 18-year-old daughter, known here as Unconditional Acceptance, asked if I would change my name. She also asked what I would do about my voice, or if I would just be like Bernadette from The Adventures of Priscialla Queen of the Desert.

My son, who turns 21 in a couple of weeks, asked what they should call me, since I wouldn't be "dad" anymore.

That was it. No big deal.

Wow.

[Hikari]

That is impressive, you have certainly raised some good ones there. Stories like this are great to hear, it lets me know that there is still good in the world.

[Constance]

Thanks, Hikari.

[K8]

Wonderful!

When I told my daughter (35 years old), her only question was if I would still be her father (absolutely).  We went through a period of trying to figure out what she should call me, since "Papa" always ended up "he" instead of "she".  What did you tell them?

It is so nice when those near and dear to us accept us as who we are.

Wow indeed.

- Kate

[Constance]

What did you tell them?

I told them to call me whatever comes to mind ... then retracted that immediately.

I suggested that they call me what makes them comfortable. But, I'm not so sure I'd want them calling me "mom" since I'm not their mother. We'll have to work it out.

[K8]

I told my daughter to call me whatever she is comfortable with.  I had thought she might call me Kate, but she calls me Maddie - a combination of Mom and Daddy.  (Mapah - a combination of Mama and Papa - doesn't work. )

It all takes time, though.  It's really nice that your kids are relaxed about it.  They'll figure out something that works for them.

- Kate

[sneakersjay]

We went through a period of trying to figure out what she should call me, since "Papa" always ended up "he" instead of "she".  What did you tell them?

My son just asked me this this morning, after he called me Mom.  He asked, does it bother you when I call you Mom?  (It does, actually, because even though I am his mother, I never ID'd as a mom, ever).  I said,  you can always call me Mom, if you want to, because I am your mother, always.  You can call me whatever you want.

So then he asked if he should call me Jay, and I said he could if he wanted to.  Mom comes out of his mouth as habit.  I'm sure he'll still call me Mom, though.  Even though it bugs me, I'm the adult and I can deal with it.  He's a kid, I'm his mom, so if he wants and needs to call me mom, I'll live.

Jay

P.S.  I didn't tell him it bugged me, though, and I have no reaction other than to answer when he does.  FWIW.

[Constance]

she calls me Maddie - a combination of Mom and Daddy. 

Hmm, maybe I should have them call me Dom. *snicker snicker*

[cynthialee]

I love when I hear good news. Seems like you did raise good kids after all. Bet that was a relief. LOL

[Constance]

I love when I hear good news. Seems like you did raise good kids after all. Bet that was a relief. LOL

My daughter's reaction was not a surprise. But, I had thought that the whole cross-dressing thing gave my son the heebee-jeebees. Either I was wrong, or he hid it well.

[Janet_Girl]

Your kids are great to be so accepting.  Of course your daughter is no surprise. ( Unconditional Acceptance ).  My children don't really call me any thing other than my name.  I think they are unsure what to call me.

Your family is one of those rare ones that go through this together.

Hugs to all of you,
Janet

[Constance]

Your family is one of those rare ones that go through this together.

This certainly seems to be the case.

[kyril]

It sounds like you raised some great kids. Congratulations!

[Constance]

Thanks, Kyril!

[Al James]

Sounds like you've got great kids. My 18 year old has asked if its ok for him to still call me mum in the house, until he has kids then he'll start calling me Alex so they don't get confused. Maybe he'll change his mind when i've got a full beard but he's been so accepting that i can't argue with him over this one point

[no_id]

Oi Grey, grats on that boundary overcome. Looks like it didn't turn out bad so I guess being a 'Hope Addict' ain't that bad after all ne?

Either way, hope everything else progresses like this. Great that you got the family support down. 

[Jasmine.m]

Shades,
This story make me happy. It gives me hope, too!! Thanks for sharing!

~Jas

[Constance]

So yesterday afternoon, my wife talked with our kids about my pronouncement. Our daughter still seemed completely unfazed. Our son did indicate he was somewhat bothered by this. He said something to the effect of, "I can't think of a rational reason to be upset by this." But, it seems he is a bit.

His main concerns seemed to be about how my wife was reacting to this, and how my parents will react, particularly my dad. He's a bigot, or at least he shows "outward hideousness," to borrow a phrase from Shakespeare.

So, while my son isn't completely comfortable with this, at least he's not turning against me, either.

[Nemo]

That's certainly better than the alternative - which we hear of all too often. Good to hear it's gone well so far

[Constance]

That's certainly better than the alternative - which we hear of all too often. Good to hear it's gone well so far

True.