There is a time during my church's Sunday service where people can get up and light a candle of joy or concern – daughter admitted to college, father in the hospital, etc. I used the opportunity at Easter last year to announce that I was going to "pursue a lifelong dream" and "become a woman – what I've
always wanted to be." For the anniversary, my minister and I put together a little transition ceremony to be appended to the candles this Easter. Here is what we came up with:
Minister: [Introduced Margaret Fuller, an early 19th century intellect and social activist. She was raised without emotion. When her father died she let her emotions come out. She wrote this to a friend during that time.]
"I can say very little now, scarce a word that is not absolutely drawn from me at the moment. I cannot plunge into myself enough. I cannot dedicate myself sufficiently. The life that glows in upon me from so many quarters is too beautiful to be checked. I would not check a single pulsation. It all ought to be... My soul swells with the future. The past, I know it not...
"Truly you say I have not been what I am now yet it is only transformation, not alteration. The leaf became a stem, a bud, is now a flower..."
Kate: "Trapped by expectations
I kept the best of me hidden
And shushed her when she spoke."
Male friend: "Go, my brother. Seek what we all seek – happiness, wholeness, and wisdom."
Female friend: "Welcome, my sister. Enter the tribe of your soul. Relax and take comfort."
Kate, lighting a candle: "A year ago I lit a candle in joy for this gathering of kind and generous souls – you, who have created a sanctuary where I could finally dare to hope.
"I told you I was starting a journey to find myself, to let the cage door swing open and free myself if I could.
"I shed the mask I felt obligated to wear – obligated by my anatomy and by social expectations. With your kindness and the kindness of others, I have not had to put on a new mask but can reveal myself - my only true self.
"I have been like a desert flower, parched, held tight against the heat and the cold, waiting.
"Your open minds and open hearts have been like the long-awaited rain, allowing me to bloom at last.
"And that gives me
such joy that I should light a whole tray of candles."
Minister: "After the service Kate will sign the membership book with her new name."
It went very well. After the service I got lots of hugs and lots of comments. Several people said
that's why they come to this church.
I had someone take pictures, but they were without flash and so are a bit blurry. Here's one:
May each of us find such acceptance wherever we may go.
- Kate
