When people still think you are a girl, even after they know your name.

[Elijah3291]

Let my start with, I love my name, Elijah.  All of my friends know me by it, and they like it too(I think) and I think it fits me.

sometimes though.. people will hear my name.. and still think im a girl

like, someone said my name around a stranger, the stranger turned and looked at me funny and said "oh, what a beautiful name"

and yesterday in lunch... i was waiting in line.. and this girl came up to me and asked if she could monkey jump.. and she asked my name.. I said "Elijah" and she monkey jumped me, and her friend got mad that she cut in line.. and the girl said.. "Elijah said I could monkey jump her" WTF.. it just pisses me off to no end!  It makes me think that.. maybe if I told her my name was.. I dunno... matthew.. or something.. or maybe I just pass that badly, that she thinks im a girl with a guy name.. should i come up with a nother name.. just untill I pass better.. is Elijah.. a unisex name?

also.. what can I do about my aggression.. I never get angry towards people.. but I can feel it getting bottled up, i dont want to go crazy, you know.. I just feel angry SO much.  its all trans frustrations.  I need ot let my agression out.. somehow.. any ideas?

[Lachlann]

Elijah as far as I know isn't unisex, but I could see it easily becoming one. That might be the issue.

As for aggression, I never figured it out before T. Nothing would work beforehand, and now physical activity works.

[LordKAT]

It isn't the name. I have seen Kenneth and David taken as female. There is no way those are unisex or female names.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I feel you on the aggression part. When people still call me her after telling them my name is LEO...well, yeah. Or when people think I say Leah or Leigha instead of LEO. It makes me mad. And nothing really helps me, except working out in hopes of looking more male, then when I'm done and look in the mirror I still look the same so....yeah. Idk man.

[Dan]

I get the same problem - even when nearly everyone around me is using the right pronouns and I'm known as male I still get the odd person who 'shes' me. Personally I've put it down to the voice as i pass well on visuals alone. Its not easy and winds me up too.   

[miniangel]

Historically, male names are adopted as female names. It rarely happens the other way round. So, Hilary, Shirley, James, Sidney, and about a zillion others are now female names, and as the tendency increases for parents to give their kids odder names, so it will become harder to identify a male simply by his name. People readily accept a female with a traditionally male name these days.

[Radar]

I agree with LordKAT. Also, if you love your name don't change it. Don't change anything you love because of other people.

You're still young and will eventually get on T (if that's what you want). Until then you'll probably have to put up with these incidences and being clocked as female sometimes. There are the fortunate few who always passed pre-T, but I'd say that's probably not the norm. So, most of us have been (or still are) there.

[Devin87]

I must be weird in the fact that I actually like my name being androgynous.  I've still got too much of that Catholic guilt in me and I don't like making people feel uncomfortable by calling me a she and then hearing my name and getting all embarassed (although it usually happens that they call me he and then hear my voice and get all embarassed).  I sort of don't mind if people think what they will until I'm 100% passing as a male.  It seems like it cuts down on the embarassing situations, although maybe I'm just being dumb and it's actually making them worse...

[Teknoir]

When some people clock you, there's nothing you can do or say that's going to change their minds.

Some people just can't be moved once they decide on something. They'd holiday in a natural disaster area just because it's where they decided on 6 months prior, if it came down to it

There's nothing you can do "on the sly" about these types of people. If one of them clocks you, the only way out is to say "Hey, I'm actually a man, thanks" - and even then they might not go along with your preferred pronouns.

Oh, but one of these people that doesn't clock you? Awesome. You could show up in a pink sequined ball gown and you'd still look like a man in a dress to them

Name doesn't matter squat to some people. The trend of giving females traditionally male names doesn't help. It can help if someone is on the fence, but it's really not worth changing a name you love for their sake.

I have what I would like to think is an unambiguously male name. It's not a new or modern name (Middle ages FTW, yo! Kickin' it old school all up in here ). I've still been clocked with it a few times. I mean, not often, but it has happened once or twice (generally by people that haven't been exposed to a wide variety of creative output).

[Parker Lane]

I have that same problem.
Parker is a very masculine name.

It's my voice that gives it away :/

[sneakersjay]

If you guys are young, I'd just correct them and say you're a guy.  Why?  My son used to have really long hair (shorter now).  And even though he dressed like a skater, people would call him she, bascially because of his hair.  Usually he'd just give me an eye roll, but sometimes he'd say I'm a boy.  He'd say, what, are they dumb?  I'm wearing boy's clothes!! because it doesn't occur to him that girls might wear the same thing (I haven't seen it, or if I have the girls did have a bit more color in their outfits).  Most people would say oh, sorry, when corrected.

So that might work if you are younger.  We tend to be so self conscious because we're trying to pass, then get upset when people see the wrong gender, but in some cases if you correct them they will be like oh, okay, and not immediately think ooh, transguy.


Jay

[Myself]

It's probably not the name.

Hey! to cheer you up a little, a girl from university with a feminine name got he'd today for over 5 minutes from some university staff until finally realizing the person in front of her is most definitely a girl! (no trans history either, not even a butch).

I think I found that funny

She was also wearing an unmistakable woman outfit, but was behind a desk and computer and the woman there could only see her face, which are not really masculine, but hey, people here probably learn more to identify gender than other people.

[Jeatyn]

This drives me INSANE, I've had a few incidents where I've told people my name is Nick and they've gone ahead and assumed I meant "Nicola"

even if my name WAS Nicola, surely by introducing myself as Nick, they should assume that I prefer to be called Nick and not take it upon themselves to lengthen it to Nicola

[Arch]

Parker is a very masculine name.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I've met, seen, or read about a number of girls named Parker. So I just looked it up in the SSA name frequency database. As a girl name, it clocks in at number 505. It's been getting more popular in recent years...
Post Merge: April 08, 2010, 06:27:23 PM

even if my name WAS Nicola, surely by introducing myself as Nick, they should assume that I prefer to be called Nick and not take it upon themselves to lengthen it to Nicola

Wow, not Nichole/Nicole or Nicolette?

Yeah, you would think. I won't divulge my birth name here, but let's assume it was Anna. So I would get people asking, "Do you go by Anna or Annabel?" Or sometimes they would just go with Annabel, without asking.

When I was a teenager, I knew a girl named Sandy. Just Sandy. And people kept turning it into Sandra. Even teachers, even when the name on the roster was clearly written as Sandy. As a matter of fact, I once got into an argument with a substitute teacher about my own name...I don't know what gets into people. As with gender, they just get an idea in their heads and run with it.

[Lachlann]

This drives me INSANE, I've had a few incidents where I've told people my name is Nick and they've gone ahead and assumed I meant "Nicola"

even if my name WAS Nicola, surely by introducing myself as Nick, they should assume that I prefer to be called Nick and not take it upon themselves to lengthen it to Nicola

One of my ancestor's names is Nicola. Also a dude.

[Between Names]

One of my ancestor's names is Nicola. Also a dude.

Tesla? 

[tekla]

Nikola Tesla

Nice try, but spelling counts with names.

[madzam]

hmm, I've met a few girls named Elijah.

I honestly don't know...I mean I tell people all the time my birth name -Brianna- and they think I'm a boy. My friend said he though I was just a boy with a silly name.

Which is cool, though i mentally kills me each time I have to introduce myself as so -_-

[Adio]

hmm, I've met a few girls named Elijah.

I honestly don't know...I mean I tell people all the time my birth name -Brianna- and they think I'm a boy. My friend said he though I was just a boy with a silly name.

Which is cool, though i mentally kills me each time I have to introduce myself as so -_-

That's really cool.  The same thing happens to me although I use a trick with my name.

How do you pronounce it?  If it's Bree-anna, you could always change it to something more masculine and keep the same spelling.

Like, Brian-nah (emphasize the Brian, soft nah like the last syllable in banana).  Of course, if you hate the name Brian or if that sounds completely stupid to you, it won't work.  It also helps if you changes schools, jobs, or towns when attempting to re-pronounce your name.

It's worked for me (different name).  Once I correct a person, they automatically switch gears from female to male.  I've even had my insurance company think that the female gender marker was in error and offer to fix it (I declined and explained).  So, it does work, and depending on the name, it can sound convincing with the right attitude.

[madzam]

Yeah I was thinking of doing that, but majority of the school knows that I'm female now and I haven''t taken a P.E class yet, so that means gender appointed rooms -_-

Probably going to wear my gym cloths under my uniform