People here may think I'm crazy or disillusioned. I may be for that matter!

I really want to start contributing and working as a team to find answers and solve problems. We get affected emotionally everyday, but we need happiness to live life to it's fullest!
I guess I'm re introducing myself. Hi, I'm scarboroughfair!

I never really took this transgender thing seriously. But now I'm on a mission. There has to be answers to absolution! I have been inspired by folks here and I hope to return that inspiration to the community. For some of us this is a daily battle. We get up and are already at war. There has to be a balance and silence of the heart.
In my opinion we need to lose the "labels". Not on the forum boards, but amongst ourselves. We are all human and for what ever reason we battle and fight for things that in the end may or may not bring happiness to us as individuals.
My latest conclusion on transexual/transgender dysphoria is unrealistic ideals and expectations. Most of us I feel are trying to fight forces that cannot be fought. WE cannot change people's perception of us. We can physically, but inside we know what we was born as physically as an awesome blogger I know put it. I myself can live with that in everyday interaction but not in dating where I have to lie and say I was born a girl.
So that all depends on your own conscience how far you want to go in deceiving people and finding happiness.
I can get away with deceiving the general public, but not dating. It's like a double edged sword, you live a lie either way when it comes down to it. Of course this value is dependent on you conscience. I'm not saying or preaching it's wrong or right. I'm giving insight as to your own survival to know your limits!
Your limits are when you can't live with yourself when you've went too far. It's when your conscience bothers you that you may be "peaking" out and need to make an adjustment and bargain with your mind. You have to love and fully accept yourself to be happy and attract others to you in life!
I believe there is a guy out there for me as a transgender. I believe it is possible to be loved for who I am. But if I'm miserable, that guy might walk right by me. I'm very upbeat and sometimes like a fool I bust a dance move! lol
I want my happiness and inner light to do the talking for me, not what I don't have. I have to love me for me now. If we make our happiness conditional we may never find it. You have to love yourself for what you are now to be successful in the future! This means to atleast explore your mind and become more self aware. All good things will come, but only if you believe. Don't expect! Just go out there in life and have a good time as yourself!