The Worst Question

[Arch]

your so nice

Awww...but you might not say that if you read ALL my posts.

[Autumn]

People have all sorts of names and nicknames.  I know a lot of people who until I got on Facebook I never knew their 'real' names, or their last names, I just knew them as everybody else in that venue did.  I've been called "Cat/Kat" since HS owing to doing a play in which I played (and very poorly I might add, I only got the role because I knew how to do stage choreography fencing) 'the prince of cats' which got shorted to 'cat' when I was climbing.  So it's kinda weird for some people who are told to 'find cat' and assume they are looking for a girl.  They get over it.  I did a long time ago.

Until my job let me transition, I had about a half year period where customers could not conceive of me as male, but all my coworkers didn't see anything different, and I had to use my male name.

At first, I told customers that yes, really, that is my name that I was born with, the legal name i currently hold. After a few weird glares, stares, and arguments, I switched over to "I go by" and it changed to laughs, smiles, and it wasn't a deal at all.

I think women using male nicknames works a lot easier than male using female names... try it sometime.

[Arch]

But I wouldn't be taking this path if I wasn't willing to lose everything.  It's what I need to do.   

FWIW, I've run into very few people who feel that they did indeed lose "everything," and as far as I know, those folks do feel that they gained themselves and, given a do-over, would follow the same path regardless. I know some people who say they lost the "thing" (could be a person) that mattered most. Sometimes the loss is temporary. Sometimes we acclimate to the loss surprisingly quickly. Other times, no.

But I think that most of us have to get to the point where we are willing to risk everything. In a lot of ways, that's a very uncomfortable place to be; you might call it rock bottom. But then you're free to start finding yourself...and that can be incredibly liberating, even if you have to juggle it along with fear, frustration, exasperation, concern for others, and still more fear.

You'll get through this winter by storing up one nut at a time.

[tekla]

True that, I work with one Mel (Melanie), a Vic (Victoria), and a Big Mike (Michelle), and a few who go by their initials, and several who go by their last names.  But I also have a Rhonda (Ron, we already had one) and a Weasel Nipples who made the mistake of saying that he would rather be called Weasel Nipples then the nickname we gave him - a mistake you only make once.

[Arch]

But I also have a Rhonda (Ron, we already had one) and a Weasel Nipples who made the mistake of saying that he would rather be called Weasel Nipples then the nickname we gave him - a mistake you only make once.

He must have quite an imagination to even think up something like that. Does he have more than two nipples? I think weasels do.

Now I'm wondering what the original nickname was. I'm willing to venture that it wasn't Bigguth Dickuth.

[jmaxley]

Today, someone asked my name and for the first time, I used my guy name.  He never questioned it.  Even got into an argument with his sister when his sister called me "m'am".  He said, "No, that's a sir."

[tekla]

It was something that incorporated the name of the lighting company we all hate, who he worked for at the time. 

[Autumn]

Today, someone asked my name and for the first time, I used my guy name.  He never questioned it.  Even got into an argument with his sister when his sister called me "m'am".  He said, "No, that's a sir."

Enough male clues, and people will start seeing you as a guy. Maybe a flamey homoguy, but that's progress!

Eventually, name, voice, breasts/lack thereof, clothing, haircut, etc, starts pulling you towards your transition-to presentation. Just takes time for the whole package to come together.

[Arch]

Enough male clues, and people will start seeing you as a guy. Maybe a flamey homoguy, but that's progress!

Eventually, name, voice, breasts/lack thereof, clothing, haircut, etc, starts pulling you towards your transition-to presentation. Just takes time for the whole package to come together.

Maybe when I have a full beard, I'll start seeing what other people see. I still wonder why people don't guess. What a weird hang-up...but I guess it happens to a lot of us, at least at first.

[Lachlann]

The name question kills me to.

I had to phone up a tech support the other day and since my name isn't legally changed, I had to use my birth name. It was like stabbing myself in the heart.

[Evan]

I know it's a hard thing to start doing.. but if there are people out there named Fifi Trixibelle, Moxie CrimeFighter, Apple, Audio Science, or any of the names Frank Zappa named his kids.. really how weird can you be? I used to make a joke of it and say that at least my dad didn't get his wish to name me Babe Ruth.

[Elijah3291]

The name question kills me to.

I had to phone up a tech support the other day and since my name isn't legally changed, I had to use my birth name. It was like stabbing myself in the heart.

I HATE when I HAVE to use my birthname.. I was getting new glasses the other day, and I had to use my birth name.. and the guy.. being polite.. kept using my name over and over and over ughghg

[tekla]

You could try "Well everyone calls me XXX".  Works for me.

[Nygeel]

You could try "Well everyone calls me XXX".  Works for me.

Triple ex!?
BAD. ASS.

[Lachlann]

Triple ex!?
BAD. ASS.

Everyone is now Vin Diesel.

[tekla]

Everyone but you, you have to kick ass to be vin after all.

Oh yeah, he does have a full time job and a career being him.  Not a minor point.

[notyouraverageguy]

I feel u, I feel the same way.

I went to get a gym membership with my friend &she introduced me as my preferred name. But then we got the membership &I was like I think I have to tell the lady my birth name. The name on my id cause she asked for id, but the name on the membership is my preferred name. Can you say trouble, ugh. I got to get on that legal name change.
:/

I only introduce myself as my preferred name to ppl my age, at a party or something not formal. Or else at places like, the gym, doctor, etc I have to use my birth name.
Ugh...

[Alessandro]

Well, what I did was change my name by deed poll to Alex.  It's a kind of gender neutral name so I can just say it and let them think what they like about my gender.   My full name is going to be Alexander Micheal.  But I am not changing it to that until after I have started hormones and had my top surgery. 

I can't have anyone using my birth name ever - it makes me extremely depressed.

[M.Grimm]

I'm in the last legs of getting my name changed everywhere. Some places make it really easy, some places make it rather tedious. Most of the people I've dealt with have been very polite and professional, and in some cases when they learned my new name they used it immediately.

I only had one annoying incident, a lady at the DMV; she was really nosy about it, asking if I'd gotten married. I said, no, so she kept pressing as to why I'd change my 'pretty name', and saying my old name, and I finally just stared at her and said, "Because this (my new name) is my real name and that's all the reason I need." She got rather huffy with me after that, but geez!

[Elijah3291]

I only had one annoying incident, a lady at the DMV; she was really nosy about it, asking if I'd gotten married. I said, no, so she kept pressing as to why I'd change my 'pretty name'

people are so annoying.. and nosy.  Its your life.. who cares if some random stranger things that your old name is 'pretty' ugh.. people sometimes