The Worst Question

[tekla]

I think people are just trying (though I have zero idea why they bother) to give a damn and care a bit.  Would your life really be better if no one cared?

[M.Grimm]

In my case, I don't think the DMV lady was trying to 'care'. I'm going from a feminine name to a masculine name; I'm early in transition and I do not pass yet. If she'd only said it once I would have rolled my eyes and moved on, but she kept picking on the matter, like she was trying to needle me for giving up a pretty and feminine name.

All the other people I've dealt with during this name change (and this has been around a dozen) have been polite and pleasant, with some commenting on my interesting and nice new name. Those were the ones who showed some caring and I did appreciate them quite a bit.

[Marcelo Caetano]

I just use my male name around my friends who know about my situation.
There are still some places that I need to introduce myself with my birthname.
So have'nt been so hard for me to use my male name.
I hadn't introduce myself to anyone new since I started transition, so...I really can't say how hard will this be for me.

[Carson]

This never really happened to me, as soon as I came out I introduced myself to everyone new I met at Carson. Maybe I'm just reckless? at least that is what my school counselor said in regard to my entire coming out process. I think for me I was also compensating and trying to show up my family who still referred to me as my birth name, so I tod even the people they might come into contact with that my name was carson so that my family would have to deal with the awkwardness not me.

[jmaxley]

My friends refuse to use my male name. 

[Elijah3291]

My friends refuse to use my male name. 

your friends SUCK

[Arch]

My friends refuse to use my male name. 

Eventually, that will just make them look stupid. But they don't sound very friendly...

[jmaxley]

Yeah, they're not going to be my friends much longer if they don't get with the program.

[Aussie Jay]

I don't care about my name as I've always gone by Jay or Jac... What I think is the worst question is 'are you a boy or a girl?' by any age, any gender anyone!

I always think what if I say a boy and they don't believe me? And come up with tonnes of other equally offensive questions!! And there's a snowball's chance in hell I'm saying girl... Even living as a female in society it was hard up to get me to say girl!

I used to get very offended, especially in the ladies room in public - I used to just grab the chesticles and say 'whataya call these?!!'.. Now I'm a little more subtle, I usually go with 'what do you think?' and depending on what they say sets the theme for the rest of the conversation... If I'm still talking to them! I have found this tact especially helpful with kids as 9 times outta 10 short hair and a deep voice = boy

[GamerJames]

What I think is the worst question is 'are you a boy or a girl?' by any age, any gender anyone!

I had a kid at my daughter's daycare ask me that a couple of weeks ago. Right in front of my daughter (who doesn't know yet). I didn't want to lie and say "I'm a girl" and also reinforce any confusion my daughter may feel when I come out to her, but I also couldn't go ahead and say "I'm a boy" without explaining to my daughter (which I wasn't ready to do at that point). I fought with myself for 5 seconds that felt like 5 minutes, and eventually mumbled "girl" and grabbed my daughter's stuff and started heading for the door with her. I'm sure to her and everyone around us it probably didn't stand out as "weird" in any way, as it was all said and done with so quickly it was barely noticeable. But to *me* it was a horrible situation that I felt I handled poorly, and wished I'd thought up something better to say like "I'm {daughter's name}'s Mom" (which is true regardless my gender, and doesn't leave any difficult explaining to be done), but by the time I thought of that, it was hours later and I'd already tortured myself over it for too long as it was... Gah, just one of those "fun" transition experiences. 

[K@I]

i hate that question >.<, it makes me feel so awkward, i always end up hating myself for telling them my name i was born with. They always give me that stare ¬_¬ I dont pass well enough atm, so maybe with time and if i gain confidence i might actually be able to give them my male name.

[tekla]

Just use the Elephant Man line: "I'm a human being!"   

Or - if your special, and I am, I even had a special ed program set up just for me at school - say:  "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."  Then let them show you theirs and say: "I lied."

[GamerJames]

Or - if your special, and I am, I even had a special ed program set up just for me at school - say:  "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."  Then let them show you theirs and say: "I lied."

I laughed *heartily* out loud at this one, thanks for injecting some humor! 

[Aussie Jay]

Just use the Elephant Man line: "I'm a human being!"

This I like

I've told people before "I'll just be Jay - how about that?" I hate the fact that I'm supposed to fit in one box or the other and I don't feel like I belong in either sometimes!!