explaining to normals that your "feminine" interests do not make you female

[elvistears]

Oh who cares. By normals I mean people who are very binary about gender.  Not implying that trans people are abnormal. 

[Between Names]

So, cisgendered folk, then? ;P

[Lachlann]

I like some things that are deemed feminine, but it's never been called into question and they're not that many. I'm pretty sure most people who knew me that found out I was transgender thought it made a lot of sense. People would actually take issue with my lack of femininity or they couldn't see me doing anything feminine.

I think gendering interests is pretty lame, though. Or even applying how you dress or what you enjoy deems a sexual orientation. I don't understand how being a certain orientation means you must or probably like 'X' when it's pretty irrelevant. Trends, maybe, but that tends to be marketed or influenced.

[elvistears]

Only some of them haha. Some trans folk fit that definition too I guess.

[Waffles]

LOL!  Now I want to know what your DoA usernames are!

Funnily enough (and going slightly OT here, but I have to share) a guy did a documentary on our local BJD meet group recently and concluded that BJDs were the hobby of outsiders.  He based this on the observation that we all considered ourselves to be at best unconventional and at worst alienated and felt that our dolls reflected this.  Curious, eh?

I think that's interesting, is it possible to view this somewhere? Nice dolls you have Papillon, I only have 3 XD 2 msd and 1 yo-sd size. I'm very picky about the face mould lol =.='

I haven't really been approached by anyone to explain my interests/hobbies but with dolls my reasoning is that they're fun to photograph. I've noticed that a lot of people have figurines and pose and take snaps of them, so I relate it like that.

[Papillon]

Waffles, I am still waiting on him to get back to us with details of the finished doc.  He is a film student and was doing it for his end of year project, I believe.  I will let you know when I know.

I don't feel a need to justify my dolls at all.  Yes, I photograph them (LOTS!) but I also play with them.  So what?  I also have quite a few action figures and I don't see a huge difference between the two, except in scale.

And I wasn't allowed action figures as a child ("boys toys") so perhaps I am making up for lost time

[~Jay~]

I'd also like to see the doc when its done and you hear back from him it would be interesting to see, I was aloud to have boys toys when I was a kid He-Man, Star Wars,Transformers, cars dinosaurs etc.
I also love to photography my bjd's I went to art college for about 4 years and majored in photograpgy but since leaving college in 2000 I haven't really done much but since getting the bjd's it has got me back into taking photos and doing my own face ups

[Waffles]

Ok, that'll be great ^^

I never played with dolls as a kid, so I think my friends/family were surprised when I got into this hobby XD My mum always bought me lego and knex for some reason, but I love doing hand on stuff anyways lol.

[rexgsd]

oh boy. i played with barbies as a kid, but then at the end of that 'phase' i started putting them in the toilet and cutting their hair off, and hanging them from nooses. maybe that was my inner-boy coming through lol.

[Squirrel698]

I was arguing with an older relation the other day about how I had always been male.  No I don't know why I bother arguing.  She pointed out that I use to be very much into Gone With the Wind, both the book and the film and she didn't know any men who liked that.

I believe even back when I was 13 or so I was impressed with the sexuality and power of Rhett Butler.  I wanted to be him.  I wanted to emulate him.  Learning everything I could about the story was my way of getting closer to that without having to define it.   

[Farm Boy]

I can't think of any "feminine" things I like that my family could turn around on me, because I've kinda always gone out of my way to show people that I dislike feminine things, but I'm sure they'd come up with something...

I believe even back when I was 13 or so I was impressed with the sexuality and power of Rhett Butler.  I wanted to be him.  I wanted to emulate him.  Learning everything I could about the story was my way of getting closer to that without having to define it.

This makes total sense.  For me it was Star Wars.  Luckily enough that's seen as a traditionally male obsession, but I'm sure most everybody is convinced that I am infatuated with Luke Skywalker, when actually I want to be him.  This is harder to explain to a non-TS person than one might imagine.  (Actually, as evidenced by this thread it's hard to explain TS issues in general to non-TS people...)  After I bought a new DVD set and was drooling over it, I had the following conversation with my neighbor:

Me: Look!  It's so awesome!
Her: Do you think Luke is hot?
Me: What?
Her: Luke.  Do you think he's hot?
Me: No...  He's awesome and he's my hero.
Her: So you do think he's hot.
Me: No, I want to be him.
Her: Because he's hot?
Me: -Facepalm-

[kyril]

Farm Boy - I had the same problem with my parents (with both Luke in Star Wars and Wes Crusher on Star Trek). It doesn't help that I sometimes have trouble myself sorting out the guys I want to be from the guys I want to be with.

[Farm Boy]

It doesn't help that I sometimes have trouble myself sorting out the guys I want to be from the guys I want to be with.

Me too.  This conversation took place years ago before I was even attracted to anybody in that way, so at the time I figured that what I felt must be 'thinking somebody was hot' although I still wouldn't say it because it didn't seem right.  Since then I've gotten better at recognizing the difference, though.

[elvistears]

Totally.  I mostly had girls on my walls, but any guys who were up there were ones I wanted to be like.  It's really confusing at the time.

I think it's annoying that people expect our pasts to be just like any cis guys and if its not, we're not valid.  We are different.  We were raised completely differently, with society trying to make us girls, so of course we expressed and explored stuff completely differently.  I think that's ok.  It doesn't make us any less male.

[Alessandro]

So, cisgendered folk, then? ;P

I don't think its as simple as just cisgendered folk.  I think the OP means cisgendered folk with no background knowledge of trans folk and a very socially defined ideal of gender. 


I am pretty amazed by the popularity of BJDs on here.  I used to have one, a DoD Lahoo called Kira.  But then I had to sell him cos I needed the money (for clothes lol) but I really would like to have another one in the future!

[elvistears]

I don't think its as simple as just cisgendered folk.  I think the OP means cisgendered folk with no background knowledge of trans folk and a very socially defined ideal of gender. 

Exactly! I did the post in a moment of annoyance at work so not always that clear. Not just cisgendered folk can think that way either, some trans people can be pretty stuck in narrow definitions of male and female too.

[Between Names]

Ahhhh, okay.  Well that makes sense.

[LordKAT]

Gee, I wonder if I liked gone with the wind?

[Squirrel698]

Gee, I wonder if I liked gone with the wind?

  I was expecting you to stop by at some point

[LordKAT]

Ye well my fem interests aren't worth mentioning. mainly because I don't know what they are.