Why you will or will not succeed at transitioning

[Debra]

If I may. I'd like to offer a response there.

These people, whether they profess Christainity, Islam or any other group of faiths, are not interested in the faith or the teachings.

They use religion as a political tool.

Yep they use it to stay in their own ignorant comfortable box
Post Merge: July 13, 2010, 09:16:41 AM
and I'm including my parents in that category.....sadly

[inoutallabout]

That blows.  Especially the peanut butter.  You were right about your mother; she is blind.

Thinking of you:)

[Ellieka]

@ Jillblum: Some people just can't see the forest for the trees. It's sad but all I can do is pray for them. It's her not me that has to answer to God for it.

As for the guy that threw the pie at me... he was drunk, I was drunk, we were all drunk. If he offers a sincere apology then I'll just forgive and forget. I've made some pretty bad mistakes myself and sadly gay bashing was one of them when I was lying to myself about who I was. Forgiving some one for a wrong done feels so much better then holding a grudge.

@Dryad: You will get there hun, I can tell just by the fact that you understand where you are. Some of us just move at a different pace then others but when you can finally see the goal in sight the journey becomes just a little less tiresome. 

[Shang]

Wow...thanks for posting this!  It's really nice to see someone who kept on going even after things like that.

[Samantha_Peterson]

I admire your strength of will Cami. As Shang said, it is very nice to see someone persevering through all of this ->-bleeped-<- that's been given to you.

[MillieB]

Hey Arch (waves)

Not telling them to cut it out. Yes we all need to vent but some just do it in every post. I love to help a hurting person any time I can but some times people need a reality check. This is a great place to come for advice when your hurting and/or confused but once you figure it out it's time to take action, or not. I have met with several trans people from this and other forums that just want to play victim and have people feel sorry for them.

I want every trans person to succeed and often times the best advice is harsh. I had a therapist tell me years ago when I myself was always feeling sorry for myself. I went to her to get an anti depressant prescription refilled because I had become dependent on them. She looked me right in the eye and said "You don't need another prescription, you need to grow your ass up!" That was the best advice she had ever given me.

Now please don't think that I am against people taking medication for depression. Depression is a very real thing and some times drugs are life essentials. I'm talking specifically about people who want to play the victim but never want to change.

Some times a person has to rehash and talk about things to cope and get over them but their does come a time when you have to move on.   

Cammi, I loved just about all of this post, being trans is hard and we all need to vent complain and feel sorry for ourselves sometimes, but if you choose to live in that place then disaster is never too far around the corner, victims get victimised, it's an open invitation and lets face it, some people don't need an invitation.

At my self pitying lowest, I was a hopeless alcoholic drug addict with absolutely nothing left and nothing to live for, and yes there were extenuating circumstances and I had a few reasons to feel sorry for myself and again my therapist just turned round to me and said, you can be a victim or a survivor, your choice? And it is your choice. I chose to be a survivor as I'd done the victim thing to death and no-one cared

I wish you all the best with your transition, hope that you do everything in your power to get this ->-bleeped-<- canned, and go on to the happy authentic life that you so richly deserve. I'm sure that there will be many hurdles ahead but you will get there

Take care   Millie xxx

[Sarah B]

Hi Cammi,

Thank you for sharing your story.  You have my deepest admiration and respect for the courage, you show in the face of adversity.  I'm also sorry to hear that your relationship with your mother has broken down completely.  Nobody deserves to be physically or verbally abused.  May you always have the peace and contentment in life that you a decent human being deserve.

Take care and all the best for the future

Kindest regards
Sarah B

[Arch]

Not telling them to cut it out. Yes we all need to vent but some just do it in every post. I love to help a hurting person any time I can but some times people need a reality check. This is a great place to come for advice when your hurting and/or confused but once you figure it out it's time to take action, or not. I have met with several trans people from this and other forums that just want to play victim and have people feel sorry for them.

Yeah, I get you. I've met some folks like that, too. In fact, well, it's one reason I don't attend a certain trans discussion group anymore. People are dropping that group and not attending--probably because of one semi-whiner and one Olympic-level griper who just goes over the same old ground again and again. It gets old.

But remember that you do have the power to block out anyone at Susan's who really gets on your nerves!

[Omika]

This is just depressing to hear...

I'm sorry your family and your mother are terrible to you.  It makes me feel blessed to have mine be as kind as they are. 

Hopefully one day you can live in peace.

[Sarah B]

In one sense Spacial is correct, however a much more sinister and a better understanding is:

If I may. I'd like to offer a response there.

These people, whether they profess Christainity, Islam or any other group of faiths, are not interested in the faith or the teachings.

They use religion as a political Power tool.

In other words they want to control people, by using religion as their means. 

Kind regards
Sarah B

[Tom]

Cami,

I have never, never heard anything more right. I believe in every word you wrote. It really is true. One will never get anywhere unless they do something. This is a world where you must make your own decisions. Every choice you make is only your own fault. You cannot blame anyone else. True, there are influences such as family, friends or environment but it is only you that can make that choice. A part of transitioning is becoming your own individual. There are risks, no one said it would be easy. Everyone has it different but one should always be aware that the support you thought you had might just slip away or vanish instantly. Now, this doesn't mean you shouldn't try or enjoy the support you have, you just have to know how lucky you are. I never, ever will take the support I have for granted. What for? So I can mess it all up and then cry about it? No. I personally am an optimist but I understand things about this world such as nothing is perfect and we are all human.

It's okay to cry, to want support and to depend on others but you, Cami, are so right when you say you have to be willing to lose everything because that might just happen. When one transitions, there is no telling what could happen. It is a scary process so, simply, be careful. Know who your real friends are, the real people that take you seriously for who are and never take what they give for granted. Learn from your experiences and love yourself for your knowledge. Transitioning, like I said, is different for everyone but know you are never alone. There is support not only on this site, but everywhere. Sometimes it may seem the room is pitch black but if you just turn around at the right moment, you can find that crack of light. Everyone lives their lives to their own desires but there is both something good or bad waiting in the future. So, be prepared.

Those of us transitioning need to not only learn about binding, cross-dressing, etc but about the dangers of this life style and the different support systems out there. It is indeed, a hard journey but if you are willing and ready, then it will be worth it in the end.

Tom

PS. My motto is: Live through today for the sake of tomorrow. Be an optimist because there's always something good in the situation because it could be worse. ^^

[Lori]

Religion is stupid and used as a control. And its lose, not loose.

You lose things. Your shoelaces are loose.

[Tom]

Religion is stupid and used as a control. And its lose, not loose.

You lose things. Your shoelaces are loose.

Shhhhhh I'm minorly dyslexic lol.
I was uh testing you! Yeah! That's it. You are a smart cookie my friend, you get a golden star. ;P
EDIT: Hmmm...I didn't even think if that was referring to me or not... >.<

And in a sense, yeah you're right. I find it depends on the religion. *Shrugs* To each their own.

[jillblum]

As for the guy that threw the pie at me... he was drunk, I was drunk, we were all drunk. If he offers a sincere apology then I'll just forgive and forget. I've made some pretty bad mistakes myself and sadly gay bashing was one of them when I was lying to myself about who I was. Forgiving some one for a wrong done feels so much better then holding a grudge.

Beautifully said, beautifully played. That's the message right there. 

Sarah B. Totally with you on the power tool thing btw!

[gail123]

Lori,

So if your shoelaces are loose you could lose them.
Is that correct?

Thanks sooo much!!!


By the way my 1st grade teacher's name was Lori.
Quite a coincidence, huh?

[Deanna_Renee]

Lori,

So if your shoelaces are loose you could lose them.
Is that correct?

Umm... if your shoelaces are loose, just tie them, before you trip.

[tekla]

Have you been successful at most of the other stuff you've done in your life?
Then this should be no different.

Have you basically been a failure at just about everything?
Then that pattern will most likely continue too.

[Ellieka]

@ Tom: couldn't have said it better myself.

@Tekla: I just might have to use your post as a bumper sticker.  I love it and it's so true.

So, the guy did apologize and he was without a doubt sincerely sorry. He has gone out of his way to make sure I get what I need at work now and he is quick to chastise any of the other grill crew if he hears them using slanderous words even if they are in Spanish.

When he apologized he was like "Cami, I'm really really sorry I did that to you. I was an ass, I was drunk but I was still and ass and I am so sorry. How can I make it up to you?"

I shook his and after the classic local hand jive and fist bump, I told him all was for given and we both had a great week at work together cutting up and having fun.

I think next year for our employee party I'm going to make him a peanut butter pie, just for laughs!   

[Janet_Girl]

that was sweet of him Cami.  Watch out, he may be sweet on you now. 

[Ellieka]

LOL! I hardly think so Janet. That would be a little creepy seeing as he's 13 years younger then me.