What to expect from a post-op vulva?

[rejennyrated]

I think it rather depends on the surgeon. 26 years post surgery and after two goes mine looks pretty normal and indeed does close up but in a slightly odd way which makes me look forever a virgin - which I'm not complaining about. I also have pretty small inner labia, what I think is called an "innie" but my lovers both male, and female seem to have no difficulty with it.

The smell could be an issue with hygiene, and as others have said the probiotic solution works pretty well. Also if she is still douching on the recommendation of the surgeon then residue of hibicleanse or providone solution will taste VILE. Longer term if she switches to a probiotic solution like the femina-flora or in the UK cervagyn or intra-fresh that aspect should improve but as we are all different there can be no hard and fast rules.

You should also remember that unlike you she has no monthlies. I know they can smell pretty rough but strangely they do help to cleanse any build up of unhelpful bacteria. So perhaps whilst douching with artificial bacterial killing chemicals is obviously not a good idea for the long term, logic suggest that a monthly flush with a mildly acidic and mildly saline solution, particularly if combined with probiotics to top up the lactobacillus-vaginalis, might also help. There lots of women's sites on the net where there are instructions for making a vag friendly solution which has the right PH and salt content not to harm the bacteria that you want, but which will discourage those which are unhelpful. Many of them use cider vinegar and while you might find the idea of putting something slightly acid in there, this is actually no different to the natural environment inside a natal vagina where the normal PH can be as low as 3.8 but rises briefly to around 7 during the menses.

I would also say though that she should not be afraid of going back to the surgeon for a tidy up. I waited far too long, fortunately the people I went with were fine with what I had, but after a second go the result is a million times closer to what I originally hoped for, and to my surprise even after inflation the second go was only a tiny fraction of the original cost.

[Kristyn]

correct me if I'm just a pre-op with no idea of what is to come but:  I've also heard a neo-vagina described as a hole, but would I be correct in assuming that GGs vaginas have msucles to keep them closed  down to a nice neat slit apart from those with protruding labia - and a neo-vagina doesn't?

That would be the pc muscle.  In the natal female, the pc muscle runs outside the vaginal walls  In our case, the surgeon makes an incision in the pc muscle to create the vagina and it functions much the same way as with a natal female.

[blackMamba]

I do find it a bit contradictory that you find some vaginas repellent and yet you're put off by the fact that I may or may not as well...

Well, the point I was trying to make is that regardless of whether a woman is trans or natal, sometimes the vagina can be viewed as repulsive.  I took your original post to be aimed more at the trans vagina specifically and I wanted to offer this perspective that natal vaginas can vary as well.  In my case, I just don't like to give oral sex to women at all because I'm not lesbian.  When I did it was a completely selfless act.  I don't discriminate on the basis of that fact, but of the few pussies I did eat out, I noticed some women practiced better hygiene than others. 

[pretty pauline]

She's 22, lives alone, and needs to work full time in order to pay the bills. She's also struggling with depression which makes her often lose her appetite. I completely agree that she shouldn't exert herself so much, and I'm doing a lot to encourage her to take care of herself. She's also seeing a therapist about the depression. I think in a few months she'll be doing better, but right now she's just going through a rough patch.

Pauline, thank you so much for sharing you experience - it gives me a lot of confidence

Sounds like ''post op depression'' on all the posts Iv read on Susan's I think Iv only seen 1thread on post op depression, doing a seach I may find it.
It was only a long period after my surgery that I realized it was post op depression I suffered from, I remember being disappointed at my surgery result, then having a 2nd procedure (labia plastic) to put things right, thinking did I do the right thing at the time and so on.
Anyway thankfully things worked out, I remember showing my final result to my Mam who gave me great confidence, my new vagina was just like any normal woman.
My Fiancé who is a typical masculine hetro guy, had a lot of girl friends before me, says my pussy is the best he's ever had, giving me great confidence as a woman, but things where not always like this, my first year post op was the hardest, just like your GF Juliette, take care of her, let us know how she is doing, you'll see a big difference next year, all for the better.
p 

[Juliette]

lilacwoman, I had the same thoughts before surgery as well, but as Kristyn pointed out that's not actually the case. Trans women definitely have muscles there as well, the only difference (according to my gf's doctor) is that the muscles run more vertically, whereas in a cis woman they're circular. That's not really a noticeable difference though. I think the reasons for her vagina looking like a hole are probably what blackMamba said: that's it's all the dilation + things are still healing.

rejennyrated, thank you for the advice. She's going to see a nurse in a week, so I'll suggest she ask about douching then. (Btw, you and your gf are such a cute couple:3)

blackMamba, you're right that vulvas in general can be viewed as repulsive and have negative stigma attached to them in our culture. As someone who's internalized some shame I definitely know this! Also, there's a huge variety in terms of appearance, that's for sure. Although most of my concerns are related to the fact that my gf's vulva currently has some features that are very unusual for a vagina to have (eg. a lot of swelling, redness), from what everyone else has been saying that is quite likely just related to healing. I wasn't judging her anatomy specifically because it's a neo-vagina, although I did initially have some hang-ups about that and it's possible that I'm still getting over them. Talking to people who are non-judgemental, and who give me an idea of what to expect really helps though. Sometimes it's hard to assess the situation neutrally because of the sh*tload of social stigma that comes along with being trans...this goes not just for the trans person themselves, but for partners of trans people as well. After all, after the trans person themselves, it's their partner who is the most impacted by the changes.

prettypauline, yes I think you're right about it being post-op depression. My gf was so busy dealing with gender stuff for years that now that it's more-or-less resolved, she's realized that there's all this other crap she's been neglecting. According to her doctor and psychologist, this is very common (although the reasons vary from person to person). As I said, both of us suspect that in a few months she'll be doing better:)

[Cruelladeville]

If you're a very 'visual' person....then I'm not sure any relationship will work for you that well.....(long-term).... as we all age, wither and suffer physical atrophy....

GG, natal or transgendered....male or female....

If significant relationships success was to then depend on continued physical perfection then we'd all be doomed on that score....and it all sounds somewhat body fascistic to me?

This is a time when your partner is at her most vulnerable in fact.... so pressurising her in anyway regarding her genitals, not the most sensitive way I think to support her...

(This is why I personally avoided intimate sexual relationships for 2-3 years while I ventured through all the difficult surgery stuff).....

As you (the person going through it) needs a lot of positive energy to keep battling through the blips along the way....and there can be many....

All vaginas are different, man or nature made.... like all penises.... though I would agree that I'm sure some variations could have some attraction consequences....

Though I wouldn't personally make genital perfection a bench-mark for my choice in partner...or whether I was going to invest and build something good with them....

[Juliette]

Cruelladeville, I never said that physical attraction was all that mattered to me, or that my partner must be perfect. I also never said that I expect her vulva to be perfect. So I think that you've jumped to a lot of conclusions here. Most of us care about what our partners look like, and that's the simple truth. I happen to be a bit more visual than your average woman I'd say (although it wouldn't be unusual if I were a man) but that doesn't make me a "body fascist". Simply, I have never been with somebody with a neo-vagina and I don't know what to expect. In order to get feedback from people it was necessary for me to describe at length some of the "problems" with her vulva, which it made me uncomfortable to do, but enabled me to get feedback. I definitely agree with all your points, but they're not exactly relevant to the situation. I do appreciate your concern for my partner though, as you're right that she's vulnerable right now and I have to be careful not to pressure her.

[Cruelladeville]

Juliette....

You're the one that states you were 'very' disappointed by the experience...?

And yet you 'love your partner very much'....but that if you're not attracted to that 'part' of her.... then it would be best for you two to break up...?

Maybe I am reading it wrong...?

But your initial OP still sounds un-supportive and highly-conditional to me... and she's only a few months in on one of the toughest procedures you can ever undertake...

Nice...

[rejennyrated]

People - just a friendly little intervention. Can we refrain from criticising someone who is, when all is said and done coming here looking for support and answers. We all sometimes phrase things in a way which is sub optimal. Lets not get sidetracked here into mutual recriminations please or we may be in danger of breaching Rule 15 of the TOS. Thanks.

Jenny x.