I hate to say this, but theres no other way.

[Angela]

Octavianus,I am very open minded and listen to diffrent kinds of advice.If you dont mind me asking,how long after you met youre girl, did she come out to you ?

[Octavianus]

No problem, we were dating for a long 4 months, almost 5 months. We know each other longer than that though.
This may seem a long time but I have always taken it slow in relationships.

[Angela]

Thanks,I hope I can someday  meet someone like you.

[tori319]

So many diffrent opinions here, wow.I thank everyone just the same.Though im leaning towards hiding it from now on, and see where that leads me.God knows ive been honest years now, and it has gotten me nowhere as far as relationships go and everything else.

How old are you and when did you start hormones, you look great.

[Angela]

Thanks for the compliment tori319, youre a sweetie. Im a 35 year old post op .Ive been extremely lucky in life, having a rather youthful appearance.Most people mistake me for someone in their early to mid 20s.    Ive started HRT back in the late 90s, had my SRS and FFS 3 years ago.Ive read youre other thread Tori,be patient.I had went through that with my Endo 3 times in 1998,before he accepted.Now we both laugh about it.Just be patient.

[mtfbuckeye]

You're 35??? WOW! You look like you could be on a Girls Gone Wild tape

[Angela]

mtfbuckeye,thanks. :)Its not a positive advantage all the time.Because sometimes  guys almost half my age hit on me. ::)Im looking for someone in the 32-37 year age.

[mtfbuckeye]

One reason I grew a beard is that I am youthful-looking too.. without it I often get mistaken for a student, and I'm a 35-year-old prof!

[Angela]

mtfbuckeye, you do look like someone in your early to mid 20s.Some of your facial features remind me of how I was.I wish I could post a pic of me as a man,I was foolish in destroying all my male photos years ago.I will be visiting my Aunt on September 3, I will ask if she has any,  then I will post here.

[Astarielle]

I'm not even reading the thread, but I'm going to reply. Bad Star XD

Anyway, I haven't had the problem, and not sure I will. I'm rather withdrawn, sexually. But in my view, I think that a sexual partner has a right to know certain things. And this sucks to say, I hate saying it, but I have to consider the world here: One of those things is if they person they're about to have intercourse with was once a different gender than what they present as. If they find out, at all, it can be a deeply troubling experience for them. It's not something I'd want to expose anyone to, and it's honestly not fair to them.

Think about it for a moment, though. Would you want to have sex, which is, in my view, the highest declaration of love you can give to a person, short of marriage (and I do think these two should go hand in hand, but not forcing anyone), and these just short of dying for a person, with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are? I can hear it now. "But who I am is a (gender) now. (sex) is in the past"

Please understand. I'm not validating this. Man, woman, in-between, what you were born as is a part of you. Discarding it is as bad as never pursuing your true gender. So yes, you will lose out on some sex. Yes, you will lose some people close to you. But gold can only be tempered through fire, and what emerges from the hottest flame is the purest gold.

[Samantha_Marie]

While I am no where near this stage, I have considered this for some time.

In no way would this be a first date or second date thing. I would definitely tell them BEFORE sex, unless it was 100% a one night stand don't know the guy, friends and won't see him again thing(which who wants that for their first time??).

If it's not a one night stand, I'd wait until a month or two in, but still waiting for sex. If it's a friend, or someone you care for but don't want a relationship with but still plan to have sex, then they have the right to know.

I am not sure if this helps but for me I feel it's only fair, cause as was said, it can be devastating for someone to find this out.

Best of luck, and you really are gorgeous! I look at some of the girls here and I wonder if I'll ever be that pretty. I look at myself now and alls I see is a man

Gabby

[Angela]

Thanks for your kind words Gabrielle.All I can say is be patient, it took me years to accomplish this.

[jmaxley]

I don't even get to the point of telling them I'm trans.  Once they see me or my picture, I never hear from them again.  I don't think I"m that hideous looking.   

I don't know that I would tell on the first date, but I personally would definitely let them know before things got too far.

[Anisha]

You are not doing anything wrong.Besides if a guy dates you and starts loving you he loves you for what you are and not for you history.Just be perfect and you will get your Mr Perfect.Besides you do look beautiful..

[Britney♥Bieber]

Thanks andthenwekiss !Their problem is Im upfront on the first date about my past.Thats going to change  from now on.I wont reveal till a few months in.Hopefull that will make a diffrence.

That seems like a good idea, let him get to know the woman you are and he'll see you as a woman he cares about and I think he'd be more likely to not care.

[Angela]

Thanks again.Just curious, have you begun HRT yet ?

[spacial]

mtfbuckeye,thanks. :)Its not a positive advantage all the time.Because sometimes  guys almost half my age hit on me. ::)Im looking for someone in the 32-37 year age.

Some might find this a bit weird or even 'significant', but I was and am only interested in men much older than me.

The youngest I ever dated, in a serious way, was about 10 years older than me. (But sadly, he was a bully).

Young guys are cute and all. But they are more interested in finding their own place in the world.

[Angela]

I didnt say "young guys", just someone at my age or close to it 32-37.

[clairezoey]

secret is secret..dont tell the guy u were dating u was a man..try izumi advice, its great.

btw, do u have a girl voice? how u change it? or its naturaly?

[cassie09]

Ive known my boyfriend since i was 18. Im 24 now. My boyfriend didnt know I was trans until March of this year. Nothing has changed, if anything he loves me more. For a long time id go through these bouts of depression because i didnt know what to do and how to tell him. I finally did, thinking we were gonna break up. Instead, we had ravenous sex. Go figure.