When guys stare at us, what are they thinking?

[Northern Jane]

Guys are SO transparent!

I was 24, tall (5'9"), slender, and very cute when I transitioned in 1974 and it didn't take me long to figure out what the guys were thinking ..... "Damn I would like to bed that!"    The 36 years since haven't changed much 

[Katelyn-W]

http://transgirldiaries.com/comics/2010-05-22-0013.jpg

[Octavianus]

Guys are SO transparent!

I was 24, tall (5'9"), slender, and very cute when I transitioned in 1974 and it didn't take me long to figure out what the guys were thinking ..... "Damn I would like to bed that!"    The 36 years since haven't changed much 

You can't lump us all together, Jane. We are not all like that, and honestly I find it a tad offending.

What are guys thinking when they stare at a woman? I don't think an answer is possible because we are all different. But in general you can assume you are not getting read: we just look at women a lot. Some men see women as sex objects and start fantasizing about pleasures that are never going to happen. Others admire their clothing or hairstyle. Women have much more diversity in appearance than men: they are interesting to look at. Last, some of us are just pondering into nothingness.

What if you look okay but your behavior is like stinky butthole?

She had it coming.

[Izumi]

You can't lump us all together, Jane. We are not all like that, and honestly I find it a tad offending.

What are guys thinking when they stare at a woman? I don't think an answer is possible because we are all different. But in general you can assume you are not getting read: we just look at women a lot. Some men see women as sex objects and start fantasizing about pleasures that are never going to happen. Others admire their clothing or hairstyle. Women have much more diversity in appearance than men: they are interesting to look at. Last, some of us are just pondering into nothingness.
She had it coming.

Lies! we know what guys are thinking.  Unless your testosterone is incredibly low you will think of one thing when you see an attractive woman.  Testosterone is one hell of a drug after all, they give it to someone when they want to increase libido, even to women.  Guys walk around with tons of the stuff pumping through their system, not to mention they have male brains that are designed for guys to be guys.   I was on the stuff for years, i know what it can do.    Now i am glad to be rid of it to the point where i can think clearly again.   

All guys are different, some mentally undress you, some put you in outfits in their minds, some make you twins, some add 3 other women they saw that morning heh.

A comedian, i forget which one put it best with this statement:

"If women actually knew what we were thinking about all the time, they would never stop slapping us."

[Octavianus]

Lies! we know what guys are thinking.  Unless your testosterone is incredibly low you will think of one thing when you see an attractive woman.  Testosterone is one hell of a drug after all, they give it to someone when they want to increase libido, even to women.  Guys walk around with tons of the stuff pumping through their system, not to mention they have male brains that are designed for guys to be guys.   I was on the stuff for years, i know what it can do.    Now i am glad to be rid of it to the point where i can think clearly again.   

All guys are different, some mentally undress you, some put you in outfits in their minds, some make you twins, some add 3 other women they saw that morning heh.

A comedian, i forget which one put it best with this statement:

"If women actually knew what we were thinking about all the time, they would never stop slapping us."

I truly hope that you are pulling my leg because this comment grieves me. (The only other option is that my testosterone level is non existant...).
The impression you write above is sadly shared by many women. Since reaching puberty I have felt a kind of mistrust directed towards men. Why is it so hard for the 2 genders to live with each others as friends, and not as people who accuse men of taking photographs of urinating women (the worst a woman has ever insulted me, how could I ever regard her a friend)?

About the testosterone making people agressive, isn't there a slim possibility this is just a folk tale?
Women seem to get friendlier when given this hormone.
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v463/n7279/full/nature08711.html
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article6949048.ece

[V M]

What if you look okay but your behavior is like stinky butthole?

LOLZ... It was actually meant to be an honest question at first and I was going to edit it but I got too many replies before I could

What I meant is that back in the day when I would check girls out for "guy reasons" I would take in the whole picture including whether I thought she had a nice, pleasant attitude or not

If I thought the girl looked like she had a "stinky" disposition it would be a big turn off for me

[Janet_Girl]

My Dear Octavianus, please don't take these things personally.  You are a sweet man, and I doubt most of the generalizations do not even apply to you.

Steroids have been shown to cause aggressiveness and most of them are testosterone based.  But like many women, when we get together we have a little fun at the mens expense. 

No harm, no foul.

[Octavianus]

I am sorry for my crude reply Janet, I allowed frustration to speak before reason.
The use of stereotypes can really get me on edge sometimes.

[Izumi]

I truly hope that you are pulling my leg because this comment grieves me. (The only other option is that my testosterone level is non existant...).
The impression you write above is sadly shared by many women. Since reaching puberty I have felt a kind of mistrust directed towards men. Why is it so hard for the 2 genders to live with each others as friends, and not as people who accuse men of taking photographs of urinating women (the worst a woman has ever insulted me, how could I ever regard her a friend)?

About the testosterone making people agressive, isn't there a slim possibility this is just a folk tale?
Women seem to get friendlier when given this hormone.
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v463/n7279/full/nature08711.html
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article6949048.ece

Well partial truth, i said nothing about maturity, a boy will have less control over his impulses when on testosterone, even give into them.  However a man can make a distinction on behavior, he might feel such thoughts coming but be able to control himself enough to not continue them.   Such control comes with age and maturity.  Although some boys never grow up to be men, to those i am referring to. 

Also, on a side note, did you know that when the spouse of a man bares a child his testosterone drops.   Current research states its a natural mechanism to prevent the man from leaving to go find other women, and in fact stay and help raise the child.  Neat huh.  It was on national geographic. ^_^

But yes testosterone does make one aggressive. 

[ggina]

Virgina, that was a great one

As for Octavianus' reply, the OT is about "staring" which is much more than just a regular quick look. During a stare, which is a prolonged moment, there are indeed many, let's just say, background activities in the male brain

Barbie, I like how you look on your new avatar. I'm the exact same height but otherwise I've got plenty of work left to do as I see

g

[Janet_Girl]

I am sorry for my crude reply Janet, I allowed frustration to speak before reason.
The use of stereotypes can really get me on edge sometimes.

Sometimes I too get aggravated at stereotypes.  But when it is done in fun and not hurtful, I just roll with it.


Hugs.

[Octavianus]

Well partial truth, i said nothing about maturity, a boy will have less control over his impulses when on testosterone, even give into them.  However a man can make a distinction on behavior, he might feel such thoughts coming but be able to control himself enough to not continue them.   Such control comes with age and maturity.  Although some boys never grow up to be men, to those i am referring to. 

Also, on a side note, did you know that when the spouse of a man bares a child his testosterone drops.  Current research states its a natural mechanism to prevent the man from leaving to go find other women, and in fact stay and help raise the child.  Neat huh.  It was on national geographic. ^_^

Some boys will always be boys. I guess that is what male puberty is all about: learning not to act on those impulses.
You present some very interesting data, isn't it fascinating that 2 separate bodies can subconsiously react to each other? When you look at other species, the male often disappears right after the deed. The upbringing of the young only takes a short time. But the upbringing of a human child can take 15 years, so the male is needed as a parent. It was taught in my school years that the permanent possibility of sexual intercourse was the trick to keep the man from leaving.

Love your new avatar 

As for Octavianus' reply, the OT is about "staring" which is much more than just a regular quick look. During a stare, which is a prolonged moment, there are indeed many, let's just say, background activities in the male brain

The only woman I really stare at is my own girl
It most be really annoying though when total strangers do that.

[iris1469]

Hi. I have read a lot of the posts and wow, nowhere else have I found so many people who have had a lot of the same thoughts as I!!!!
Anyways, my response to this is I think that it is unique to each of us. For me, a LOT of people stare at me. Men because the are men and women who will scan me from head to toe then back up, then will usually smile at me. I have men and women that are very kind and gracious and seem eager to talk to me. I also find myself in potentially volatile situations. I am white transgender living in the middle of 18th street neighborhood. Teenagers giggle at me younger ones they'll usually look at me with wonder in their eyes. See for me, I have a very sexxxy body, flat stomach groiwng boobs (B cup) and Im tall. Besides im clockable, but at the same time striking...so for me, i can deal with it...so dont worry about how others are looking AT you. Go about your day with a positive attitude, and forget about people staring.!!!

[Ayaname]

I am sorry for my crude reply Janet, I allowed frustration to speak before reason.
The use of stereotypes can really get me on edge sometimes.

Must have been the testosterone talking. 

j/k   

[Octavianus]

Must have been the testosterone talking. 

I was waiting for a woman to make that comment, it was unavoidable 

[Nicky]

Mmm, i don't notice guys looking so much. But often people are looking at my tattoos I think. They are a little unusual for a girl to have.

But I notice when women check me out, lesbian women that is, I love it.

[K8]

Just got back from the grocery store, where a man locked his eyes on my boobs the whole time I was in his line of sight.  He had a slightly distracted look, as if he was trying to remember his shopping list, but his eyes had a habit of their own.

Stares don't always mean anything.  (Darn, and he was kind of cute, too.)

- Kate

[barbie]

Getting stares become my eveyday experience. I can not do anything about that. Just ignoring it seems a best response. A perplexing moment is that a few guys try to speak to me. I never reply. One interesting thing is that women tend to stare at me for longer time than men.

A few days ago, I actually stared at a foreign woman who wore bikini in the beach here. It becomes fall, and it is very unusual to wear bikini here at this time.  She looked so much striking. I was curious and studied her body. She was tall, tanned well, but a little bit opulent. I studied her body to check whether her body is indeed nice, not because her body looked sexy to me. And her seeming boy friend also studied me all the time

Yesterday I hiked the highest moutain here with my family. I wore hot denim pants. When finishing and returning to the entrance, a group of aged woman seemed to discuss me. One of them seemed to give a positive comment. Then another woman immediately shouted like "That person is a man!"

While hiking, I chatted with my family, and also got cellular phone calls. Above all, my little daughter at age 6 climbed to the top (about 2 km, or 6500 feet height), surprising nearly all climbers there. The course was bumpy and rough. The total distance was about 20 km (about 12 miles). A lot of people asked and speaked to my wife about her age. Sometimes I and my daughter walked together while my wife was far behind me. Finally, my daughter complained to my wife like "Mommy! People called dad as my mom. I don't like it!"

Barbie~~

[ggina]

Barbie, aren't you afraid that your daughter will grow up a bit confused? I don't know your exact situation so just saying. I mean, just how short those denims were? I know I wouldn't wear those in male mode (were you in that anyway?), I can get just enough stares without them As far as I know denims are exclusively women's type of clothing although I see them on gay(-looking) guys at times.

However I wouldn't worry about women staring at you, they're obviously envious. You know, tall people were always kings/queens of the world and will always be Back when I was just thinking about transitioning, I thought my 6ft height is the biggest obstacle I have but nowdays I like it more and more... and or course, found other things to worry about

g

[barbie]

Barbie, aren't you afraid that your daughter will grow up a bit confused? I don't know your exact situation so just saying.

Ggina,

I do not see any difference between kids and adults regarding understanding and reacting to my ->-bleeped-<-. Of couse, many people worry about my kids like you, but kids are surprisingly intelligent and mature. We tend to think that kids are premature, and thus their cognitive power is less than that of adults. However, I think this is untrue. In essence, kids can recognize, interpret and understand the world as well as adults do.

For example, my little daughter scolds me, and threats like "Men should have short hair. Daddy, you must have your hairs cut. Or, I will cut it for you." A few days ago, she saw my one-piece dress in my closet, and scolded me again by saying like "Daddy. You remember that I once said to you that men should not wear skirts. Men should not wear women's dress. Got it?" At playgrounds, she sometimes introduces me to her play mates by saying like "this is my daddy. He is like a woman, isn't he? (and laugh out loudly)" And etc.

Interestingly, my dad commented exactly the same way during the past 4 years.

Any way, I love my little daughter so much, and she is also very proud of me. I heard that she boasts of me in her preschool so frequently. When I first met her in her preschool, she boastfully said to her mates several times like "This is my dad!". A teacher there playfully replied like "(Do you think that here only you have dad?) I also have my dad." Then, my daughter replied like "Is he tall as much as my daddy? My daddy is tall!" My daughter seems to believe that I am the most intelligent person in the world.

People are bound to try to seek any flaw from transgendered parents. But our family does not have those flaws that they are seeking. Sometimes they seem to believe that we have some problems. But later, they realize that I bring up my kids far better than them. For example, here some kids do not have their dad, or their dads do not have a job. Still, some of their moms try to advise my wife on bringing up our kids.

Barbie~~