Is it normal for a mtf to think she needs FFS when she really doesn't?

[lilacwoman]

a certain amount of FFS would be healthy if it made the person happier.  It's only unhealthy when it's taken to the extreme of The Bride of Wildenstein.

[Suzy]

I have gotten some compliments on it IRL though which always surprises me since my nose is basically shaped like this:
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Much the same as mine was, honey.  Last December a doctor changed that for me.   I had some real medical problems with mine, and did cosmetic stuff while I was at it.  But listen, this is not about what is right and wrong.  What makes you happy?

[eshaver]

Sure, I'd love to be able to afford a lot of expensive plastic surgury. Still, I have a terminal illness that precedes my wanting elective procedures currently. I thank God for the time I'm here ...... ellen

[Dana Lane]

I just want to be able to go places without having makeup on and not be called sir because of my face. HRT has improved that a bit but i will need FFS to make my desired goal.

[Christy Edwards]

I too think u r beautiful. For u now, I would wait a while...Myself, I am definintely wanting it.
When u reach 50 as I am, I really would love it. But for now, I am working hard on laser and whatever else needed to get rid on my facial hair...baby steps I guess...

[Shynoir]

I would think its pretty normal. I'm not yet into therapy, HRT, or even FFS. I do look pretty good, but feel like I'm not exactly what I want to look like. I don't even have that much of a bossing, but the only way I'll be satisfied is if I get FSS to do something. I think it is kind of a psychological confirmation that "I did everything possible" or something like that. This, even if there was nothing wrong in the first place.

So you are willing to run the risk of infection, complications with anaesthesia, sub-par results and all the other risks of surgery for no real reason? Your nuts..

Yes, I probably am. 

FFS doesn't necessarily mean completely butchering the face. Sometimes it's just rhinoplasty, blepharoplasty, and maybe jaw contouring. Well, it's the little things that make you happy. One may be perfectly fine, but for some people transitioning into another life would be much easier with little tweaks. Some even like to look a little different from their former life. If it makes a person happy, and it not something that is life threatening, then no reason why not to.

[Izumi]

Has anyone had that feeling? and is it the estrogen acting up?? 

I am getting FFS.  I look ok, but just need to fix a few things here and there.  So i decided to do it, probably within 2 years.  I am still self conscious about my looks, even though the longer I am on HRT the less days i feel "I look like a guy", I still want to never feel like that, and FFS will help.

[ggina]

I have seen many many transwomen go though years of endless surgeries and they STILL don't "pass" at all.

They do all these surgeries because they want to MUL-TEE-PASS! (sorry... )

Finally if you want romance in your life you will almost certainly find that easier if you can learn to compromise both with yourself and with others

This is very important, the best advice I've read here so far. Life is not about correcting a brow bossing, it's about loving other people, including their faults. You can't love others, and not even yourself, if you don't compromise. Chasing perfection has nothing to do with love, it's an obsession. And I consider it very strange that it was Ariix, of all people, who started this topic as I keep bumping into comments in various threads, praising her looks. I think it's not the estrogen acting up, I think it's you. Estrogen in fact, should do the opposite. (I don't know you Ariix, I might be completely wrong of course and I don't want to insult you or anybody else here.)

The thing is, if you want to correct something because YOU think it's imperfect, you're walking the wrong road. If others tell you or give you unmistakable signs that there is indeed some problem, only then you should go ahead and fix it. The problem with the first approach is that if you're not satisfied with yourself, you never will be, ever. And besides, you can never get rid of your old image of yourself, no matter how many surgeries you have, because that image is imprinted in your brain. This is especially true if you're TS and had to spend many decades with a face belonging to the opposite sex. I'm not the least surprised if one wants to get rid of their memories entirely, but it is not the right way I think, we got to learn to accept some things in life.

I liked Kate's post about the surgeon who told her "Why?" Reminded me of the case when a few weeks ago I was at a consultation and I told the doc that I want to correct the huge gummy smile I have. His immediate response was "Will you smile more after it's done?" and I could only reply with a short "No." - but I smiled while I was saying this So he was right of course, no doubt about that, but I'll do it anyway because I was regularly mocked during all my childhood years about my looks so I know I need to do something about it. And considering what I had to go through with that face, I know the psychological effects -if it's successful- will hugely outmeasure the physical. I know I'll cry of relief when I'm finally through this and if I really will, then it was worth it.

it is very easy to become an operations junkie

hey I'm one of them! ahh just kidding. Though if I have some problems and surgery is an option to fix that, I'm not the one who used to hesitate. Guess I must be a bit stupid, dunno But what I've had so far were mostly caused by sports injuries (sports can be a bit self-destructive, you know) and I've never yet done anything about my looks. The reason is I'm afraid that after a few surgeries, one morning I look into the mirror and I won't recognize the face I see. That would frighten me to death, probably. I've seen a movie about this, it's called Time by Kim Ki-duk. It was depressing, to say the least. I'd make it a mandatory requirement for everyone who wants to undergo surgery, to watch it. After seeing, they'd think twice before doing it

I only want to do the minimal amount of stuff, only what is definitely needed, because I still want to look like myself. The fact is, I'm satisfied with my face; others aren't

g

[Nero]

I am getting FFS.  I look ok, but just need to fix a few things here and there.  So i decided to do it, probably within 2 years.  I am still self conscious about my looks, even though the longer I am on HRT the less days i feel "I look like a guy", I still want to never feel like that, and FFS will help.

What??? To fix what? You're absolutely gorgeous. I'm totally scandalized. 
Women! Never satisfied.   

[AmySmiles]

I get told all the time that I don't need anything done, but I still want to do a little bit for myself.  I can't really explain it either.  I guess I want to look mostly the same, but just different enough that it helps with my mental hurdles.

Well, that and I hate my nose 

[Lexine]

Any type of facial surgery seems to be common in my family... heck, my grandma does them from time to time! The one thing though that's constant is that girls (GGs, MtFs) seem to have an inclination for facial procedures to look good. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I don't think it matters if you're a MtF. If you think like a girl, then chances are you might think that you need some sort of facial surgery and that's fine. My $0.02

[Nigella]

Hi there,

Yeah, wanting facial surgery is normal because we seek to be seen as female. Saying that however does not mean that we need facial surgery because often its all in the mind. I have often thought about ffs and yet everyone who knows my past tells me I'm crazy and I don't need it. I've even been called attractive last week, I had to laugh to myself because that would be the last word I would use to describe myself. We often don't see ourselves the way others see us and so we seek to alter the things that we think need altering. We look in the mirror and still see the man (that still crosses my mind sometimes). I have also heard that this is still the case when some people have had ffs, they look in the mirror and still see the man.

Like others have said, there are many cis gendered females out there that look more male than we do. I have often thought when I've seen females like this and have been convinced they were MtF and yet when I've spoken to them I am convinced otherwise.

So what is the answer, well I suppose there isn't any definitive answer. In the end you have to go with what you think is best for you to be happy but ffs may still not make you happy. If I were to really analyse my own feelings I would say it is more to do with loving yourself and self acceptance after a life time of gender dysphoric feelings. To let go of the baggage and to live life. Starting by loving yourself for who you are, unique and special, there is after all, only one you.

Stardust