Hello from a Cisgendered Male

[Astarielle]

What an interesting person to meet.

Welcome to the site from the self-declared quietest person on the site.

You're very perceptive. I like that.

[Fencesitter]

I sympathize with you all; I have some "kinks" of my own that aren't accepted by society.

But you know that you won't get away with this statement withouit further explanations? 

Okay, seriously, welcome here!

[Pundit]

But you know that you won't get away with this statement withouit further explanations? 

Okay, seriously, welcome here!

Haha, all in due time, probably. I already searched for the term on here, and someone said it was disgusting, so I'm kind of reluctant to tell everyone. Maybe once I've gained a good number of posts and have a good reputation.

Thanks.

[Octavianus]

Haha, all in due time, probably. I already searched for the term on here, and someone said it was disgusting, so I'm kind of reluctant to tell everyone. Maybe once I've gained a good number of posts and have a good reputation.

What a person says or thinks about a certain condition does not make it so. When society regards a certain conition as good or bad does not mean it actually is good or bad. Too many people allow their judgment to be influenced by the opinion of others or by ignorance.
The only advice I can give you is to talk about it when you feel ready, and know yourself.

[Silver]

Welcome!

[Elijah3291]

JoC: I gotta say, you look so much like a woman. Seriously, if I saw you on the street passing by, the thought that you may have been born physically male wouldn't have crossed my mind at all. A lot of people seem to pass well on this site, though. The vast majority, in my opinion.

She IS a woman, and yes you are right, she is gorgeous.

[niamh]

She IS a woman

Seconded.

JoC: I gotta say, you look so much like a woman.

We will pardon you on your turn of phrase  One can not look like a woman if one is a woman. But yah, we get what you meant. 

[Pundit]

Octavianus: I know that. And it hasn't made me feel less about myself or anything. It's just somebody's opinion. *Shrug*

Everyone else: I only meant it in a complimentary way, the "you look so much like a woman." And I know she's a woman inside, but she was born (physically and biologically speaking) a male. I was only complimenting her on how feminine she looks despite being born physically and biologically a male.

[Octavianus]

I am quite sure you didn't meant to say it in a negative way. It is just one of the very delicate point people can be really sensitive about.
You had the good intention but didn't use the right words.

[Pundit]

I am quite sure you didn't meant to say it in a negative way. It is just one of the very delicate point people can be really sensitive about.
You had the good intention but didn't use the right words.

I'm not so sure. I suspect it may be because I'm cisgendered and not transsexual. Like a double standard. I was looking through another member's posts, and she gave various compliments to people, saying, "You look so female!" Why was she not reprimanded? After all, she used almost the exact phrase as I did.

I'm not upset about it, but I'm certainly not going to say I used the wrong words. I'm not so sure what was wrong with the words I used. I wasn't trying to insinuate that she was masculine in any way; in fact, she looks very feminine; but the fact is, she was born physically/biologically a male. That's the whole basis of the compliment: that, although you were born physically a male, you look so much like a woman now. If I really "said the wrong words," what were the right words?

[Fencesitter]

I suppose the problem here was the wording "look like XY", cause this usually means one is not "XY".

E. g. nobody would tell Jack Nicholson that he "looks like" Jack Nicholson - cause he IS Jack Nicholson. Only someone else might "look like" Jack Nicholson. However, you can say that Jack looks like a dangerous and unpredictable person in the movie "Shining", as that's the role he is playing as an actor. Then again, it also insinuates that Jack is not dangerous and unpredictable per se.



Love that movie.

[niamh]

It's okay and we know you most certainly didn't mean anything negative by it. We trans people can be a sensitive bunch at times. Maybe it was a case of a double-standard, but isn't that always the way it is? People outside-looking-in always have to guard their tongues more than those who are inside themselves.

[Pundit]

I suppose the problem here was the wording "look like XY", cause this usually means one is not "XY".

E. g. nobody would tell Jack Nicholson that he "looks like" Jack Nicholson - cause he IS Jack Nicholson. Only someone else might "look like" Jack Nicholson. However, you can say that Jack looks like a dangerous and unpredictable person in the movie "Shining", as that's the role he is playing as an actor. Then again, it also insinuates that Jack is not dangerous and unpredictable per se.



Love that movie.

Okay, I can understand that. But then what would be the right thing to say?

[Silver]

Okay, I can understand that. But then what would be the right thing to say?

Perhaps "you're a beautiful woman." Or perhaps that you wouldn't question her gender or something.

[Octavianus]

Okay, I can understand that. But then what would be the right thing to say?

Think of it like this: would you tell a woman she looks like a woman?

[Fencesitter]

And please, never tell her she looks like Jack Nicholson in "Shining". Or say this to anybody else. 

[Fenrir]

At any rate, formalities about phrasing over, welcome to the site. (:

[jesse]

hi  welcome to susans

[Elijah3291]

And please, never tell her she looks like Jack Nicholson in "Shining". Or say this to anybody else. 

omg ROTFLMAO

I wish I looked like him (but not all the time)

[Debra]

Yeah it's a touchy subject.

The best is just to say "you're a gorgeous/beautiful woman". That's all that matters.....

In fact, in person, never approach a transgender person and say "you're so brave or you look so female", etc. There's really no good thing to say to a stranger like that because we all just want to be seen as female and saying that we look "so female" tells us you knew about our past maleness by looking at us so in fact, we did not look female enough.