Corrupt-A-Wish

[rachel89]

Granted, but the flavors for the year are asparugus, pepper, sardine, tripe, brussel sprout, dirt, vomit, cough syrup, dog breath, machine oil, rotten egg, and paste.

I wish to go back to 1985.

[Dee Marshall]

Granted. But 1984 WAS like "1984". Hope you like Victory Gin.

I want to move where it's warm and sunny and there's no snow.

[rachel89]

Granted, but you are now living in Somalia.
I wish for a kitten.

[SilverWing]

Granted. However, this is a saber-toothed tiger kitten. You'd best keep on your toes.

I wish for a hat.

[soaringPhoenix]

Granted, but your hat has a huge drawing of a penis on it... And you can never take it off.

I wish I had all the gaming stuff I wanted.


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[SilverWing]

Granted, but everything there is a Decepticon.

I wish for a phone with unlimited memory.

[MsMouse]

Granted, but it records all your calls and posts everything on the Internet.

I wish for my own personal TARDIS.

[topit]

granted but its in a portapotty instead of like a phone booth or whatevr it is in that tv show

also it smells bad

i wish i could breathe underwater yo

[V M]

Granted, but the only place you can do that is in Davy Jones' locker among the other unfortunate crustaceans of ill fated sailors   

I wish my chicken dinner could cook itself ready at the time which I desire

[MsMouse]

Granted, but dinner tonight is "Chicken Sashimi"

I wish my car would stop leaking oil.

[Laurie K]

granted you ran your car outa oil....


I wish I could have a nice pair of breasts

[Daniel92]

granted, but they're blue

I wish I could fast forward to March

[SilverWing]

Granted, but you miss the alien invasion in February and have no idea what's going on.

I wish I had a clone sister.

[Matthew]

Granted - you have a (robot) clone sister - however being a robot she s far superior to mere mortals and overthrows the human race.


I wish I had some food to eat

[Catherine Sarah]

Granted: it's no longer 26 hours, but now it's 52 hours

Just by way of interruption Matthew, I attempted to book via Etihad Sydney-JFK. They have it up to 38 hours 14 minutes. (Insanity gone totally mad) That's with a meager 5 hour stop over in Dubai. Looks like I'm back to United. Where is this bloody time machine, Back To The Future promised.

Granted. You now have soooooo much food to eat, not only do you attempt to consume it all and bombed out once you reached 782 lb, but the excess started to rot, giving off excessive amounts of methane gas that exploded and you were decimated because you weren't able to move.

I wish I had a cent for every < insert appropriate value > [Winners will be announced in the Philadelphia Daily News Sat Nov 14 pg1]


Catherine

[Sebby Michelango]

Granted - you have a (robot) clone sister - however being a robot she s far superior to mere mortals and overthrows the human race.


I wish I had some food to eat

Granted. Your next meal is a rotten raw snake. You have to eat it, before you can choice to eat normal meals again.

I wish I could fly.

[SilverWing]

Granted. However, you are now a registered aircraft and have to file flight plans and carry a transponder beacon, black box, and a radio to communicate with air traffic control.

I wish the pair of panties I bought today actually fit me.

[KyleEdric]

Granted. They fit, but they become riddled with holes after two wears.

I wish I could eat bacon again.

[soaringPhoenix]

Granted, you can eat bacon again, but it's the only thing you can eat, forever.

I wish I had a bunny rabbit.


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[SilverWing]

Granted. However, this bunny rabbit is ten feet tall, has chainsaws for teeth, and eats humans. You'd better be careful.

I wish one of the Nascar cars had the transgender pride flags and symbols all over it.