Corrupt-A-Wish

[Eris]

Granted, your bones lie in a grave marked Cinderella. Time is a fickle mistress.

I wish that the weather was less predictable

[immortal gypsy]

Granted you now live in Victoria Australia.  A place where if you don't like the weather you just wait five minutes and it changes.  Of course down here pretty much every animal is either poisonous or deadly in some manner. Good luck surviving a week.

I wish someone could find those missing episodes of doctor who

[Dee Marshall]

Granted you now live in Victoria Australia.  A place where if you don't like the weather you just wait five minutes and it changes.  Of course down here pretty much every animal is either poisonous or deadly in some manner. Good luck surviving a week.

I wish someone could find those missing episodes of doctor who

Granted, in fact you find them yourself. Unfortunately, they were stolen by the Daleks because they gave away too much info and now they have you, too.

I wish I could go home now.

[AnnaCannibal]

Granted, in fact you find them yourself. Unfortunately, they were stolen by the Daleks because they gave away too much info and now they have you, too.

I wish I could go home now.

Granted.  You are instantly transported home NOW.  You are also stuck in now and forever remain in the same position, the same time and must eternally view the moment of now.  The fridge forever makes the same noise, a fly is stuck mid air right in front of your face, and the same horrible stench of a dead mouse you will smell.

I wish I had a house in the woods.

[Emmaline]

Granted.  You had a house in the woods.  You no longer do.

I wish my cat could talk.

[immortal gypsy]

Granted, it took you a while to teach her but after eighteen months you have finally gotten your cat to talk. Now enjoy spending the next eighteen years getting her to be quiet and listen to what you say.

I wish, I wish, I wish I knew what to wish for

[Jera]

Granted, and now this is the only thing you know. Good luck remembering how to count!

I wish I had the power to end all wars.

[Eris]

Granted, the next word you speak will cause a shockwave which will level cities, shatter mountains, and scour all life from the face of the earth.

I wish that the existence or non existence of god/s was definitively proven one way or the other.

[Fox in Socks]

Granted, the next word you speak will cause a shockwave which will level cities, shatter mountains, and scour all life from the face of the earth.

I wish that the existence or non existence of god/s was definitively proven one way or the other.

Granted, but we find out that the known universe is actually just his attic and that we're just a project he forgot about billions of years ago.

I wish I had a magical journal or diary that I could use to communicate with long-dead famous people in their own time.

[AvaCadaver]

Granted, but we find out that the known universe is actually just his attic and that we're just a project he forgot about billions of years ago.

I wish I had a magical journal or diary that I could use to communicate with long-dead famous people in their own time.

Granted, but they have nothing to say.

I wish I could teleport without science manipulating my physical form every time I change location

[FTMKyle]

Granted, but now you can only teleport to other planets, and you never find your way back to earth.

I wish my mom were sane.

[EvanAidan]

Granted. But now your the crazy one, and everyone around you is now sane.

I wish my employees had a brain and could do their jobs!

[Gothic Dandy]

Granted. Your employees now share one giant, collective brain stored in a glass container in your plain sight which allows them to perform their jobs more efficiently.

I wish I made money with one of my creative projects!

[Kova V]

Granted. Your employees now share one giant, collective brain stored in a glass container in your plain sight which allows them to perform their jobs more efficiently.

I wish I made money with one of my creative projects!

Granted, you make three cents more per creative project you undertake. Unfortunately economic inflation makes everything  more expensive by four cents.

I wish I wasn't always depressed.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

Granted.

You are now so happy and chipper at all times that you annoy everyone around you.

I wish, I wish I didn't kill that fish.

[immortal gypsy]

Granted but now nobody knows anything about Portia Porcupine

I wish I didn't have to go into the city to pick up medication today

(I have actually quoted that episode on someone's wedding day)

[Chris R.]

Granted, medication doesn't exist anymore

I wish I didn't have to look for motivation

[Devlyn]

Granted, now you're on the go so much you're looking for a nap.

I wish I had a magic wand.

[m1anderson]

Granted, the only downside is your magic wand is an appendage like Pinocchio's nose in lieu of your middle finger on your strong hand.

I wish my body was the same as Jane Fonda's in the 1968 classic, Barbarella.

[MelissaAnn]

I wish my body was the same as Jane Fonda is in the 1968 classic, Barbarella.

Granted, but you're paralyzed and can't move it.

I wish I had smaller hands.