Corrupt-A-Wish

[Devlyn]

Granted, the only downside is your magic wand is an appendage like Pinocchio's nose in lieu of your middle finger on your strong hand.

I wish my body was the same as Jane Fonda's in the 1968 classic, Barbarella.

I'm a Boston driver, you're probably underestimating what I can get done with that middle finger!

I wish my body was the same as Jane Fonda is in the 1968 classic, Barbarella.

Granted, but you're paralyzed and can't move it.

I wish I had smaller hands.

Granted, but you won a turn in the Cash Grab Booth......and could only snatch two bucks.

I wish I was drowning in chocolate.

[Kova V]

Granted. You are drowning in a river of chocolate but soon an underwater, or rather underchocolate, pipe sucks you up, past the chocolate lake, next to the chocolate waterfall and into the marshmallow room where you'll be made into marshmallows in five seconds. Soon you'll be drowning again in lots of little cups of hot-chocolate as fluffy white marshmallows dissolving away into a sweet sugary goo.

I wish I was a young immortal robotic space alien six-armed flying amazonian woman from a future where animals talk and vegetables walk and we all sing scarey-happy songs all the time forever.

[gabimoneratt]

Granted.  But you can't move any of your six arms and can only fly in circles, very small ones btw. The vegetables grow huge and take over the entire Galaxy. Oh,  and now they feed off of any living creature. So you end up getting stuck inside a massive cauliflower and get eaten forever since you're immortal. (pretty smart cauliflower if you ask me... Infinite food sonds pretty interesting lol)
Quite a torture... Being eaten by cauliflower while you're all singing scarey-happy songs for eternity. I'm  sorry :/ hahaha

I wish I could eat everything I wanted without getting fat or having health issues 

[immortal gypsy]

Granted. Unfortunately now all you feel like eating is beans, lentils and cabbage. No health issues but still a small gas problem that is keeping people away from you.

I wish I could go outside in the daylight without having to wear my sunglasses to see

[MelissaAnn]

Granted. Unfortunately now all you feel like eating is beans, lentils and cabbage. No health issues but still a small gas problem that is keeping people away from you.

I wish I could go outside in the daylight without having to wear my sunglasses to see

Granted, unfortunately you are a vampire cannot step into daylight.

I wish I had a full head of hair.

[gabimoneratt]

Granted, unfortunately you are a vampire cannot step into daylight.

I wish I had a full head of hair.

Granted, but now your whole head is just hair

I wish I could actually cook well.

[Amato]

Granted, but now you work for Chef Ramsey.

I wish I never had to drive to get where I needed to be.

[Devlyn]

Granted, and the lawn needs mowing again.

I wish it wasn't getting dark so early.

[SarahM777]

Granted But now the sun shines 24/7/265 days a week so you can no longer fall asleep.

I wish it was snowing.

[Tessa James]

OMG so this is your fault!  Your wish was apparently granted but now people are freezing and cursing their stuck cars and looking for shovels.  Skiers and snowboarders, however, love you.

I wish dreams didn't fade so easily in the morning.  There are some almost real sensations I'd like to savor.

[gabimoneratt]

Granted,  but now you only have nightmares and you can't forget them... You start to lose sense of what's real and what is not and get paranoid thinking that there's a huge monster running behind you all day, everyday. 

I wish i was a bit shorter so I could wear heels without looking like the statue of liberty haha

[MelissaAnn]

I wish i was a bit shorter so I could wear heels without looking like the statue of liberty haha

Granted, But now your feet are way to large for your size body and you look like you have clown feet...!

I wish I could smell the roses...!

[m1anderson]

Granted, but the roses smell like a Portillo's Maxwell Street Polish.

I wish I had no facial or body hair.

[SarahM777]

Granted but now you are also bald.

I wish I could get a good nights sleep

[immortal gypsy]

Granted  you get your good nights sleep and don't wake up for ten years

I wish it wasn't so bright outside

[SarahM777]

Granted But now you find you are always walking around the dark.

I wish I had a blueberry pie

[gabimoneratt]

Granted, but the blueberries used were all rotten

I wish I had natural straight hair...

[Amato]

Granted, but the blueberries used were all rotten

I wish I had natural straight hair...

Granted, but now people wont stop touching it without your permission, cause they can't believe such awesome hair is real.

I wish I had an endless supply of sketchbooks and art pencils.

[gabimoneratt]

I wish I had an endless supply of sketchbooks and art pencils.

Granted.  But now you have way too many sketchbooks and art pencils and they keep coming in. They have taken over your house and backyard, and you can't even get in your house anymore

I wish I could fly

[immortal gypsy]

Granted But now you find you are always walking around the dark.

I wish I had a blueberry pie

Fine by me I generally see better in the dark

Granted.  But now you have way too many sketchbooks and art pencils and they keep coming in. They have taken over your house and backyard, and you can't even get in your house anymore

I wish I could fly

Granted but now you can never land and must remain at least ten feet above the ground.

I wish I was better organized